I woke up freezing. Which was pretty unusual, considering that I'd went to sleep huddled against Jay, the ever warm radiator. Stretching and yawning, I sat up and looked for my alarm clock. The glowing numbers indicated that it had just left three, but that wasn't what struck me. What drew my attention was the fact that I was completely alone in the bed.

I didn't like it...

But if I was sprawled across the bed by myself, where was Jay? Panicking slightly, I glanced around the dark room, unable to make out anything except a few lumpy shapes. I groaned, still half-asleep, and pushed myself up from the bed, tripping over the shoes I had left lying at my backside when I stumbled into bed the previous night. A low hiss escaped my lips.

"Ash?"

The whisper startled me and my heart leapt to my throat. I swallowed. "Jay? Where are you?"

"Um, I'm at the window."

I turned to face him, my heart still thumping. Standing in front of the window frame stood a teary-eyed Jay. He looked almost ghostly, his silhouette partially illuminated by the moonlight, giving him an eerie angel-like aura. Again, I shook my head. I should be more focused on the tears dribbling down his cheeks than the window.

"Hey, uh, are you ok?"

Awkwardly, I jumped up on my windowsill so that I was beside his lean frame but had a rare height advantage. Jay coughed a little before responding with, "Um, yeah."

I frowned and folded my arms across my chest. "Dude, you, uh, don't have to pretend to be ok you know... I mean, obviously you've compromised your manliness a little bit, but I won't spread it..."

I let my voice fade away, unsure of what to say next. I'd never been any good in situations like this. Besides my parents, I didn't actually have any close family unless you counted my aunt and cousins in Australia. And let's face it, I didn't count them. So I'd never experienced grief, or lose, or just downright pain. Sure I was an angsty teen who was angry at the world but, you know. It was the typical teen problems. Not like what Jay was dealing with.

"I'm fine," he croaked, turning his face away from me as if ashamed. Sighing, I hopped off the window ledge and began searching my room. Quite a feat in the dark too.

"What're you doing?"

"What does it look like?" I hissed, stuffing my bare feet into my grubby trainers, ignoring burning sensation as the coarse fabric scraped against my heels. Jay looked confused.

"Um..."

"We're going for a walk," I told him, handing him his own jacket and trainers. He raised in eyebrow in response.

"In our pyjamas?"

I looked down at my grey track bottoms and shrugged on my waterproof coat. "It's three o'clock in the morning. Like anyone will see us."

Jay stood, chewing his lip as he debated my logic internally. I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to hurry up and tie his laces. But all in all maybe it was a good thing. At least I'd managed to distract him from his mum for the time being. Eventually he hauled on his jacket, inside out I might add, and stood up straight.

"Ready. But, um, where are we going?"

I shrugged. "Dunno."

After a moment's hesitation, I reached forward and grabbed his hand, pulling him down the stairs. But I only did it because he was taking too long. Yeah.

I didn't let go as we slipped out the door. He didn't either.

"Are you sure your mum won't, um, kill us if she finds us missing?" he asked, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice. I made a face.

"Kill me maybe. She'll probably smother you the minute you get back though." I cleared my throat before continuing in a high-pitched, wailing impression of my mother's voice, "Oh Jay! Where have you been!? I've been so worried. Sob! Sob! Come here while I wrap you in bubble wrap so you can never leave the house unprotected again!... Oh, Ash is still alive. Pity."

Jay chuckled lightly, but his voice was still shaking when he spoke. "I like your mum though. She's nice."

"To you, maybe," I muttered darkly. "Personally I think she's a bit put out that I'm her son and not you."

He turned to look at me, a sad smile on his face. "Um, you're alright too, you know."

I froze in my tracks. Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before. Cautiously, I glanced at Jay, only to find him staring intently at me. Slightly breathless, I gazed into his wide green eyes. And a slow smile spread across my face soon developing into an all-out huge, toothy grin.

"I know."

Jay laughed and rubbed his temples with the hand that wasn't entwined with my own. "You're also really a total narcissist, you know that?"

I frowned deeply, adopting a false impression of deep offense. "So!? All the best people are. It takes awesome to know awesome. And I am indeed very awesome."

I didn't really believe a word of the nonsense I was spouting. Still it was nice to see Jay smile.

A streetlight flickered above us as we turned the corner at the end of my street. A cold sweat trickled down my spine and I gripped Jay's hand just a little bit tighter. I wasn't scared or anything, I was just a little uneasy. Especially considering we were just outside the small park at three in the morning.

"Hey Ash, is this Forest Hill Park?"

"Hm? Sorry, I kinda wasn't paying attention..."

Jay rolled his eyes. "I said, um, is this Forest Hill Park?"

I frowned. "Yeah. How'd you know that?"

He flashed me a small smile. "D'you really not remember?"

"Uh... no...?"

Suddenly Jay was tugging my hand and pulling me through the gate.

"Hey! Dude, wait!"

But he paid no attention to my strangled protests, instead leading my down the hill to the big wooden climbing frame that had been set on fire a few years before at a frighteningly fast pace. We skidded to a halt just in front of the rough rope ladders.

"Huh, this is kinda smaller than I remembered."

I was still completely and utterly confused. Jay stood grinning at me expectantly, as if waiting for some great revelation to overcome me. No such luck. Instead I looked up at him blankly.

"Uh, I don't get it."

Groaning in frustration, he smacked his forehead.

"Come on," he commanded, releasing my hand from his vice-like grip and proceeded to climb up the ladders with all the agility of a monkey. My hand suddenly felt very cold. But I abruptly forgot about it as I looked at the challenge before me.

"Uh, Jay, I hate to break it to you, but I'm not very good at climbing and stuff."

Still grinning, Jay poked his head out of the glassless window frame. "Oh come on. It's a kiddie climbing frame. We're sixteen."

"I'm fifteen, actually," I mumbled, but stepped forward to the ropes all the same. Jay was right, it was a kiddie climbing frame...

Didn't take away from the fact I'm one of the most unfit teenagers in the world though. Trembling slightly, I leant forward and gripped the ropes with a sweaty hand. I climbed the first few knots timidly, cautiously watching my footing. Jay watched me with an amused expression. I glowered at him.

"Look I haven't done this in ages," I snapped, sending him into fits of silent laughter. Scowling some more, I heaved myself up onto the third last step, clinging to the damp edge of the wooden platform. A wave of nausea swept over me as I glanced downward. Suddenly the drop to the concrete slabs seemed very, very long.

"Uh..."

Jay frowned and scrambled over to my shaking form.

"Um, you ok?"

I swallowed. "Y- Yeah."

Rolling his eyes, Jay held out his hand.

"What?"

"Ash just take it. I won't respect you any less if you need a little bit of help climbing a climbing frame. I mean, um, it is kinda high."

"Oh shut up," I growled, but took his hand all the same. Grunting and sweating, he eventually managed to pull me up onto the platform. I stood up straight –the 'house' at the top no longer had a roof due to the charming neds in our neighbourhood setting it on fire a few years back– and wiped my sweaty palms on my tracksuit bottoms.

"So why are we up here anyway?" I asked as Jay ran his fingers over the many carvings and names scrawled onto the walls. The climbing frame was really a historical source if you think about it. Years' worth of graffiti covered the structure along with the tags of various bands and television shows famous at the time of writing.

"Aly Was Here," I read aloud, running my fingers over one of the older carvings. "Who d'you suppose Aly is?"

Jay shrugged. "Don't know. But look at this one."

I followed his gaze to a particularly messy scribble. It was years old and time had faded the letters, but if I squinted I could just make out-

"Ash J. Hey, that's me!" I yelled excitedly. "I did that when I was a kid! God, I must have been what, five!? I remember doing that! I was with this other kid whose name I can't remember but..."

A sudden thought struck me and I turned to face Jay, slightly confused. "How'd you know that was there?"

Jay smirked and silently pointed to the name underneath. In a slightly more legible squiggle was the tag 'Jay McC'.

"No way..." I breathed, tracing my fingers over the long-forgotten letters. Jay grinned.

"When I used to visit your family we'd always come to this park. That's why I remembered the name."

I laughed and held up my hand for a high five which Jay gladly gave me.

"We were pretty cool five year olds, huh?"

"Yeah, we were. We used to go here all the time with my mum..."

Jay's voice suddenly caught in his throat. His eyes glassed over at the mention of his mum and despite his best efforts to hide them small beads of salt water escaped the corner of his eye.

"Jay..."

"This is pathetic," he sniffed, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "I've managed to hold this in all freaking week and now I can't even mention my mum without bawling..."

He dropped to his knees, tears still running down his cheeks.

"I'm pathetic," he whispered. I frowned and knelt down beside him, a strange new emotion rising up in my chest.

"No you're not," I told him sternly. "Nobody can bottle everything up all the time. Hell, I'm impressed you've managed to keep this to yourself for a whole fucking week!"

Jay looked up at me, eyes still glistening in the starlight. I awkwardly wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and he leant his head on my shoulder.

"Even the best of us cry," I mumbled quietly. "If you tell anyone I'll personally kill you and your dog, but I've cried. And that just proves my point."

"I don't have a dog," replied Jay with a watery chuckle. I glared.

"Shut up, I'm trying my best here!"

He nodded then smiled at me gratefully. "Sorry. Thanks Ash."

"Quit apologizing."

"Oh. Sorry."

I rolled my eyes but didn't bother replying. And we sat like that, in silence, with my arm draped across Jay's shaking shoulders, until the first rays of sun began to peak above the horizon.