"No way in hell Lee," I spat venomously, my face a strawberry red. "You are not painting my nails."

She pouted softly, hazel eyes peeping up at me through dark lashes, pleading. I gave her a 'really?' scowl and rolled over on the couch, pressing myself closer to Jay's warm body as I did so. It weird being so open. My mum and dad had both taken the early train into town to enjoy a thrilling Saturday of furniture shopping. Needless to say, Jay and I had both shared an amused look before passing on the activity, instead opting to spend the day at home with Lee and Lewis over to help us 'study'.

"Why not?" she whined, clutching the garish blue nail polish so tightly her knuckles turned white. "You have such nice nails,they'd look great painted. And painted nails are in, look at all the pop punk singers!"

"What about me ever gave youthe impression that I wanted to look like a pop punk singer?" I yelled, glaring daggers in her direction while Jay and Lewis chuckled in the background.

"Your general edgy, emo demeanour?"

This statement only served to further amuse Jay and Lewis, who both broke into a chorus of loud, bellowing laughter. I groaned and buried my face in a nearby cushion. My face burned with a fiery embarrassment but I somehow managed to squeak, "I hate you all."

Lee smirked knowingly, and tapped her now multi-coloured nails against the wooden table in a smug manner. "You don't hate Jay though, do you?"

"Shut up!" I yelled, my voice muffled by the cotton cushion still rammed against my features. Lee and Lewis's laughter echoed in my ears while Jay reached his arms around me and gently pried the cushion away.

"You'll suffocate yourself," he mumbled, his almost silent words hot against my ear. I shivered. "And, um, between you and me," he continued, a faint blush present on his cheeks, "I rather like you alive."

I was suddenly grateful for the constant teasing earlier. It meant that Lee and Lewis couldn't tell that I was blushing because of Jay's words, not their own.

"I'm thirsty," I complained, trying to steer the subject away from Jay and I's relationship. Lee ignored me, instead focusing on painting thin black stripes on her ring finger. Her pale face was the picture of concentration, one eye half closed, nose scrunched up, pink tongue sticking out. Lewis lay sprawled across the floor, watching her intently.

"Why do girls do that?" he wondered aloud, his eyebrows creased together in confusion. Lee shot him a playful glare.

"Because," she stated, shrugging. "I like it."

Lewis frowned. "You don't need all that makeup. You're already pretty the way you are."

"I'm going to get a drink!" I announced, as Lee's cheeks turned a dark pink colour. Lewis was staring resolutely at his trainers, and I gave him a quick thumbs up and discreetly mouthed, "Get in there!" as I dragged Jay into the kitchen to avoid any awkward moments.

"Three guesses as to what they're going to go do," Lee snorted as Jay and I passed under the doorframe. I scowled and slammed the door shut, swearing at them both under my breath repeatedly.

"I hate the pair of them," I grumbled under my breath. Even though the words were harsh, my voice was laced with affection. My heavy glower darkened as I realised this. Jay smiled.

"Fancy some tea?" I offered, casually strolling over to the kettle and flicking the switch. Thanks to my constant thirst for the British beverage, I regularly filled up the kettle. Ninety per cent of the time it was ready to go, filled up to max, just a flip of a switch needed and it was raring to go.

I was very particular when it came to my tea.

"Um, yeah thanks," Jay mumbled, busying himself with teabags and porcelain cups right away. "You think Lee and Lewis want some?"

I shuddered. "Well I ain't going in an interrupting whatever is going on out there. Ew."

Jay laughed. "Um, I'd rather not either, to be honest..."

I grinned crookedly. "What's the bets Lewis doesn't have the balls to make the first move?"

He raised an eyebrow, playfully nudging me with his hips. "You think Lee will?"

"Yup," I said confidently, snatching the four cups from his grip and slamming them onto the island counter. "Definitely."

Jay surveyed me carefully, his green eyes gleaming playfully. "Five quid Lewis does it."

Pursing my lips, I stroked my chin, twiddling with my imaginary beard as I pretended to think over the offer. My face broke out into a wide grin. "Tenner it's Lee."

He laughed and clapped my shoulder. "Done."

I couldn't stop grinning smugly, knowing that I'd already won. I strutted around the room, sending Jay victorious glances every now and then as we waited for the kettle to boil. Naturally, he called me out on it.

"You seem pretty sure that Lewis is a wuss," he laughed, tossing a few stray oranges into the wooden fruit bowl. All three landed in it with ease. I have to admit it, I was slightly jealous of his incredibly accurate aim. It was times like these I was reminded that he was practically a champion basketball player, while I had trouble throwing the toilet paper tube into the bin first go.

Like I said, I was a bit of an all-round disappointment.

Evidentially, my depressing thoughts were plainly visible on my face, because next thing I knew a pair of lean yet sturdy arms wrapped themselves around my skinny waist and I was lifted slightly off my feet.

"Uh, Jay?"

"Mm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Hugging you. You, um... You look like you need it."

I swallowed, feeling disgustingly mushy that I'd been touched by the gesture. "Oh. Right. As you do."

"Yeah."

Bar the quiet hiss of our breathing, the room was silent. My eyes fell closed as I leant against Jay, enjoying the warmth his wiry frame provided. It was unreal, feeling like this... Otherworldly.

But the illusion fell apart when the kettle began to screech and hiss in the background. I glared at the piping metal pot, half wanting to crush the blue metal for ruining the moment, half desperate to pour the cups of sweet tea.

"Hey Ash?" Jay's voice was shy, timid even, reminding me of how he'd been when we'd first met.

"Yeah?"

He hesitated for a moment, his eyes unsure; obviously debating whether or not he wanted to say whatever was on his mind. I felt a bit put out that he had to think about it.

"Listen Jay, whatever it is, you can just tell me," I assured him, twisting in his grasp so that we were face to face, eye to eye. The kettle shrieked impatiently, but I blatantly ignored it. "Um... you can trust me."

He smiled shakily, and shook some dusty ashen hair from his eyes. "Yeah. It's just... um... I really, really like you and everything, but I can't stop thinking..."

My heart stopped. I pulled away abruptly and began distracting myself with the patiently empty teacups. He was going to break up with me, I just knew it. I knew all this shit was way too good to be true, that there was just no way that somebody as perfect as Jay would ever fall for a grumpy, snarky git like me–

"Do you... Do you ever think that sometimes you'd be happier with a girl?"

Stunned into silence, I placed the still full kettle back on the stand, all four cups still empty. When I next spoke my voice came out hesitant and cautious. "No."

"Um... never?"

I couldn't see his face with my back turned away, but I could hear the trembles in his soft voice, the anxious stutter in his words.

"Nope," I told him frankly, turning back to face my now blushing boyfriend. "Couldn't handle the mood swings. W- Why?"

"It's just... um..." He was whispering, his voice bashful. "I really like you, Ash. You're, um... You're amazing. But I just... I just can't figure out why you like me back..."

Despite his best efforts to appear nonchalant, a slight quiver in his words gave away his real nervous disposition. My jaw dropped open, shocked.

"Um, never mind," he laughed nervously, the false chuckle sounded shrill and forced. "That was a stupid thing to say. Um, forget it."

Suddenly I had both of Jay's wobbling hands clasped firmly in my own. He dared a glance up at me, wide-eyed, and I stared back, my face blank as a sheet of fresh paper.

"And here I was thinking that I was the insecure one," I muttered, running my rough fingertips over his smooth hands. He laughed silently, his whole body shaking with the noiseless chuckle.

"Seriously!" I protested but the grin on my face suggested otherwise. We just stood there for a bit, laughing, until he met my eyes with a gentle but still questioning gaze. I sighed.

"Look," I told him, my face flushed. By this point I couldn't even look him in the eye anymore. "I'm the weird kid. Different. Like, I never quite lived up to any expectations or whatever. I mean, just ask my mum and dad..." I licked my lips nervously, highly embarrassed and wondering why on earth I was admitting this. Jay gave my fingers a comforting squeeze and I smiled gratefully before carrying on. "So yeah. Kinda felt like shit, to be honest. See... I ain't like, an anticonformist or anything. I never wanted to be different... I just wanted to be me. And, uh, around you, dude... For the first time, it... it felt like that was enough."

My face literally felt like it was on fire. Probably looked it too. My cheeks burned a livid scarlet colour; if I was blushing before I was bloody drowning in embarrassment now. My knees felt like jelly. I'd never been so open about something before... Ever.

"Oh my God, that sounds ridiculous," I mumbled. I hid my face in our hands, almost ready to claw my eyes out with embarrassment. That was the fucking mushiest shit I had ever said to anybody. Ever. And it was to freaking Jay! He probably thought that I was some sort of pathetic little-

"Hey."

It was a barely a whisper, quieter than the rustling branches of the trees during a summer breeze.  If I hadn't saw his lips move from the corner of my eye, I wouldn't have even noticed he'd said anything.

"It's not stupid," he assured me, tearing our conjoined grip away from my cherry red face. "At least, um, no more stupid than any daft insecurities I've got, eh?"

I laughed at that. For some reason, Jay always knew what to say.

"I guess," I agreed playfully, masking my embarrassment with sarcasm and teasing. Jay obviously cottoned on, but decided just to play along. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

"I know," he confirmed, sneakily pulling me closer to him by the wrist like I was tied to the end of some sort of string. I was staggering, held up by my blushing and giggling, but eventually I shuffled over and touched our lips together.

"I knew they were only in here for a snog!" Lee exclaimed excitedly. I jumped apart, fuming and embarrassed.

"Get the hell out!" I yelled, pointing to the now wide open door. Lewis stood in the doorframe, looking amused.

"Are you guys making tea?" Lewis asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, "or making out?"

My face tinged a horribly unflattering red colour. "I said, piss off!"

Doubled over in laughter, Lee casually linked her arm through Lewis's and dragged him back into the living room.

"We'll give them some private time," she giggled, winking at Jay before she slammed the door. I stood there, just scowling at the door.

"I'm gonna spit in their bloody cups," I muttered bitterly, not meaning a word of it.

That Monday, they handed out the Christmas report cards. Jay and I shared music last period, which unfortunately happened to be a listening period. We were currently covering the Scottish Music topic, one of the most brutally shitty topic's we'd ever studied.

Honest to God, the only way to describe the Gaelic Psalms shrieking was 'cats wailing in pain'. And that was if it was a tuneful one.

So when the door burst open and one of the plump office secretaries with a beehive of curly brown hair meekly popped her head round the doorframe we all breathed a sigh of relief. The music teacher frowned, and thankfully paused a particularly awful bothy ballad.

"Ugh, my ears hurt," I moaned to Jay under my breath. He snickered silently, and mouthed back, 'mine too'.

"Um, attention pupils," the secretary announced, her voice high and squeaky, resembling Minnie Mouse's in tone. "Um, I need to pass these out. Ok, attention please."

Needless to say, all eyes in the drowsy room immediately focused in on the wad of large brown envelopes clutched in her chubby fingers. They were flat, long, and official looking, meaning they could be only one thing...

"These are your report cards, please come and collect them as I call your name."

There was a collective gasp, and the atmosphere in the room immediately shifted from careless and muggy to tense.

"Kendra Adams... Josh Bailey... Daniel Brown... Lucas Brown..."

And so the list went on, until they eventually called out my name. Trembling slightly, I pushed myself up from the spinning chair, sending it flying backwards in the process. I bit my lip when she carelessly flung the envelope at me.

I hated report cards. They just emphasised how much of a disappointment I was. Every single time.

"Jay McCallion? Jay? Is Jay in today?"

Pale faced, Jay tottered up to the secretary, his lean frame towering over her plump one as he tugged the envelope from her grasp. I frowned. What did he have to be worried about? He was a fucking genius!

The second the bell rang, Jay and I bolted out the school and savagely tore the envelopes open with our teeth the second we were beyond the gate. Students all around us were doing the same.

At last, a hint of white card peeked through the tears in the brown envelope. Anxious, I slid it out of the envelope, bracing myself for disappointment.

I could never have prepared myself for what they had printed inside.

"There's gotta be some sort of mistake," I breathed dizzily. Jay looked at me, eyes concerned.

"Ash? Is everything ok?"

"Ok?" I repeated weakly, still clutching the paper in disbelief. "It's more than ok, it's bloody brilliant!"

Jay looked stunned.

"I got an overall A minus!" I shrieked excitedly. At once Jay's eyes lit up and he pulled my into a tight hug. I stiffened for a moment, then hugged him back, before shyly pushing him away.

"We're in school," I mumbled, staring at the ground. But I was still giddy with excitement. A minus... I'd never gotten a mark anywhere near that high before. Ever!

"What did you get, genius boy?" I asked curiously, proudly tucking the sacred report card inside my jacket. Jay shrugged modestly.

"Oh, I did ok, I guess..."

I raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh... Lemme see!"

And without waiting for an answer, I delicately plucked the report form his fingers. Printed boldly on the front cover was the letter A plus.

"Well in," I congratulated him, holding up my hand for a knuckle touch. Laughing, he gently bumped his fist to mine.

"Yeah. I, um... I actually dropped a point or two from my last report card," he confessed, taking the report back before I was finished reading it. "But you raised your grade by a whole letter. That's awesome, Ash!"

I grinned proudly, unable to stop the satisfied smile glowing on my face. "Yeah. Thanks."

And Jay smiled, equally pleased.

The first thing I noticed when we turned into my driveway was the two cars parked neatly in front of the garage. I frowned.

"Why are your mum and dad home?" Jay asked, voicing my own thoughts exactly. I shrugged.

"I don't actually know..."

We entered the house wearing matching expressions of confusion.

"Mum?" I called out, shutting the door behind us. "Dad?"

My parents poked their head's round the living room door, clear delight plastered on both of their faces.

"Why are you guys home?" I asked as we entered the living room, dumping my bag and jacket nowhere in particular. Mum smiled brightly.

"It's Linda. She's improved a fair bit now... She's actually awake!"

Jay suddenly started glowing beside me. I almost reached out and grabbed his hand, but restrained myself when I remembered my parents were in the room.

"That's great!" I said enthusiastically. Jay just gave one of his signature silent smiles and sat down on the couch.

"Yeah," he mumbled, absently fiddling with his report card. The business like envelope immediately caught my mum's eye.

"What's that, love?" she asked, her question obviously directed towards Jay despite me brandishing a large brown envelope myself. I frowned slightly, but shook it away.

"It's our report cards," I told her casually, handing the envelope over. Mum raised an eyebrow – I'd never willingly handed one over before. Normally she had to pry the envelope from my very fingers before I'd let her read it. But this time, I was a tiny bit proud of my new improved mark.

Maybe, just maybe, it'd hit the mark.

"A minus?" Mum asked sceptically. I was a little hurt by her surprised tone.

"Yeah," I said. "No need to look so surprised, by the way."

Dad frowned.

 "Don't take that tone with your mother," he warned. I sent him a look dripping with disdain.

"And don't you take that tone with me," I retorted, sitting up on the armrest. He rolled his eyes.

"What are we going to do with you?"

Aside from a scowl, I didn't respond.

"So what did you get, son?" dad asked Jay. My jaw clenched. Son. I liked Jay and everything, hell, I loved Jay, but for God's sake. They could at least say well done to me before moving on to him.

"Oh, I did ok," Jay shrugged. I ground my teeth together. Jay was just being modest, and I knew it was for my sake, which only irked me more.

"Ninety-six points!" mum proudly announced, holding up his report card for dad to see. He nodded in approval, his eyes glowing with prides.

"Ninety-six points? That's an A plus, eh?" He shook his head, ruffling Jay's hair affectionately. Meanwhile, I plugged into my iPod, blasting heavy rock music through my earphones, trying to drown my jealousy with the music.

"You're a real something, kid," dad told him. Jay blushed, uttered a thank you, and stared at me.

I shrugged at him, and shifted slightly so my body was angled away from his.

"Ninety-six points," my mum kept repeating. "Wow."

And she began fishing around in her bag then produced a black leather purse. Jay's eyes widened in alarm.

"Oh, um, you don't have to-"

"Nonsense," mum said, waving a hand in dismissal. "We've got to celebrate. Celebrate your mum's improving condition and your fab mark!"

Jealousy was bubbling up inside me as I watched them. Despite Jay looking mildly uncomfortable, they really did look like one big happy family. All smiles and hugs and laughter... And they obviously didn't fucking need me.

"We'll go out tonight for dinner," dad suggested. "What's your favourite place, Jay?"

"Oh, um, I don't mind. Please, um, don't make a big deal out of it..."

"But we want to," my mum encouraged, smiling.

And something inside me just snapped.

I jumped up and slammed the nearby door shut, stunning them all into silence.

I turned to face my confused parents, my livid sparks of raw jealousy and anger radiating from my shaking body.

"Would it kill you to even pretend that I exist?" I spat maliciously. Mum blinked, looking slightly guilty yet still slightly confused.

"Ash? What... What do you mean?"

"Oh come on!" I screamed, not even mildly guilty when my mum flinched. ! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! It's all 'Jay this' and 'Jay that'! You don't even notice me walk by half the time! Couldn't you at least... yell at me or something!? I know he's fucking perfect in every fucking way, but come on!"

My breathing was shaky, the loud, juddering breaths the only thing in the silence. I was staring at the ground, not really seeing anything other than fiery anger.

Dad took a deep breath and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Calm down Ash. I had a big brother as a kid, so I know what you're going through-"

I recoiled from the touch. "No, you don't know what I'm going through! You don't know the first thing about me, dad! You never noticed I never had any mates! You never noticed when I came home with that black eye! All you notice is Jay! I know he's going through a hard time right now, but I still exist!  Jay isn't even your kid!"

Mum nibbled her lip, looking on the verge of tears. And I can't say I was too far off it either.

"I-" she started, but I cut her off.

"Oh, don't even pretend. You'd rather have Jay as your son, I know that much. I know I'm just a fucking disappointment. I'm a disappointment at school, and at sports, and at Church and all that shit. Hell, I'll probably be even more of a disappointment when you finally figure out that I'm a fucking fag! You don't have to kid on! I know!"

I didn't realise what I'd said until a few seconds later.

And I almost fainted.

"Shit," I hissed, slapping a hand to my mouth in horror. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"

"What's going on?-"

I didn't know who spoke. I didn't care. I simply sprinted out of the room, tumbling up the stairs, the walls passing by me in a blur until I stumbled into my own room and slammed the door behind me, before crashing onto the single bed, wet tears streaming down my face.

"Motherfucking load of bollocks!" I yelled, burying my tearstained face in the pillow. It smelt strongly of Jay, which only stirred me up even more.

"Oh, fuck everything," I whispered, disgustingly salty tears dripping into my mouth. "Fuck it all!"