Turns out my parents obviously didn't think anything was out of the ordinary when they came in, because when I woke up the next morning I was still sprawled across Jay, the duvet sticking to me with sweat. A loud yawn escaped my mouth and I accompanied it with a stretch, accidentally thwacking Jay in the process.

"Oh shit, sorry dude!"

Jay groaned and squeezed me tightly, imitating my yawn.

"Don't worry about it," he mumbled, burying his face in the back of my hair while I writhed uncomfortably.

"Jay?"

"Hm?"

"I can't breathe."

Jay let out a small, disappointed sigh but slackened his death grip all the same. "Sorry."

I didn't respond, instead let my eyes fall closed and slumped against his shoulder. The incessant scratching at the back of my throat hadn't let up at all, and my voice sounded croaky like one of those witches in the Halloween movies. I spluttered another throaty cough, completely killing the moment.

"What time is it?" I asked, peering at the still closed blinds. Moaning, Jay squirmed around a little under the covers until he reached into his jeans pocket and produced his mobile phone.

"Just left twelve," he answered sleepily, balancing the mobile on the arm of the sofa. I raised an eyebrow.

"Damn."

"Yup."

I exhaled again, my breath still sounding scratchy. My still half closed eyes scanned the room for a note, some evidence that my parents had actually returned home the previous night. It was highly unlikely they'd have let me stay off school otherwise...

Then my gaze fell upon a small, slightly crumpled sheet of lined paper taped to the back of the door. I frowned at it for a moment, trying to decide if it was worth the effort to get up and leave Jay's secure, warm hold.

"Hey Jay?" I asked, biting back a yawn. He smiled lazily at me, only just waking up.

"Yeah?"

"Know how I'm sick and everything?" I gave a meek cough just to spice it up a bit, but the feeble splutter sounded nothing like the violent chain-saw like noises tearing themselves from my throat earlier. Jay immediately saw through the lie, but kept quiet all the same.

"Yeah...?"

"Can you be, like, my super supportive boyfriend and everything, and get that note for me?" I asked sweetly. "Seeing as I'm sick and all..."

"Faker," Jay coughed, his false stutter much more convincing than mine. I fluttered my eyes playfully.

"Oh come on," I begged, curling up against him like a lost puppy. "Please...?"

"Fine," he grumbled, giving me one last squeeze before peeling back to duvet (drowning me in the process) and standing up. He walked over and gently tugged the note from its proud place on the back of the door, completely disregarding the tails of clear plastic tape left over. Squinting at the paper, he wandered back to the couch and sat down beside me.

"Let's see it then," I prompted, holding out a sweaty palm. Jay rolled his eyes and slunk an arm around my waist, sneakily pulling me closer. I couldn't help but grin when I noted how neatly my chin fit into his shoulder.

The note, which had obviously been scrawled in a hurry, was signed by my mother;

Boys, you both looked exhausted so I thought you could do with the day off school. There's some money on the mantelpiece – don't spend it all, Ash. I'll explain the whole Linda situation when I get back from the hospital tonight. – Mum.

"So..." Jay spoke just as my eyes swept over my mum's signature. I swallowed and winced, immediately regretting it.

"Hey, want to go for ice-cream?" I asked suddenly, eyeing up the twenty conveniently placed on the mantelpiece beside us. Jay raised an eyebrow.

"Um, aren't you meant to be sick?"

"Yeah," I explained impatiently. "But it can be medicinal ice-cream..."

I wagged my eyebrows suggestively while Jay struggled to keep a straight face. Eventually, he had to laugh.

"Fine," he conceded, his lips ghosting over the tip of my ear and sending a shiver down my spine. "But wrap yourself up first. You're still sick, remember?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. "You treat me like a fucking kid," I joked.

"Well, you do act like one..."

He feverishly ducked to avoid the pillow aimed in his general direction.

Said ice-cream really did turn out to be medicinal – as well as soothing my sore throat I was back at school on Friday. Maybe my recovery wasn't entirely due to the delicious dessert, but it was nice to think so. Meant I could always refer back to these events if I ever did get sick again.

So when the bell rang for third period, I was swept into the classroom with a wave of students along with Lee, Lewis and Jay. It was really, really tempting to grab Jay's hand as I was pulled through the throng, but common sense and self-preservation prevented such an act. Especially going into a Religious classroom. In a Catholic school.

The first thing I noticed about the dreaded classroom was that the desks had been rearranged into groups of six, like wooden islands on the sea of blue carpet. I shuffled awkwardly in the centre of the room, keeping one eye on Jay, seeing as I had no idea where to sit.

Until Lee started waving madly from the back of the classroom, that is. She and Lewis had commandeered the back table and had saved a seat for both Jay and I. I slid into a rickety chair position neatly between a radiator and a window directly across from Lee, diagonal from Lewis, and right beside Jay. Two chicks I vaguely recognised took their places at the end of the table, giving us contemptuous looks. Lee gladly returned them twice as intensively.

"Ok kids, today we're looking at life beyond death."

Fuck.

I didn't even have to look to sense Jay tense beside me. I knew he had told the whole student body and the staff that he was living with me because his mum was on a 'business trip', but still... It was a rather insensitive topic to say the least.

The worst possible topic for someone like Jay.

"Hey," I whispered, leaning over so that only he could hear me. "D'you wanna leave? I could like, fake sick or something and you could heroically volunteer to take me down to the office..."

Jay gave me a very small, very sad smile. "Um, I'll be ok... But, um, Ash?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No bother." I smiled. The moment really called for some mushy hand holding and possibly some kissing, but I couldn't. I didn't imagine my RE teacher (or the rest of the class) would be especially appreciate of a public gesture of homosexual affection. Especially not from two misfits at the bottom of the food chain, like me and Jay. They'd eat us up.

I zoned out while the teacher continued droning on about living, morality, and the promised 'eternal life'. In all honesty, it was statements like these that had drove me away from Catholicism in the first place. The whole 'heaven and hell' scenario annoyed me. It seemed pretty petty that an all-knowing, all seeing God would banish somebody to eternal torture for something as vain as not believing in Him...

Or something as simple as being gay.

I shivered as a trickle of cold sweat slithered down my spine like a snake. Not the time.

"So what are we meant to be doing?" I enquired pleasantly once the teacher had finally shut the hell up (no pun intended). Lewis shrugged, Lee rolled her eyes, and Jay stared resolutely at the floor.

"Um, we're meant to discuss life after death," one of the other girls whose name I couldn't quite remember told me. I visibly winced. Why did we have to be discussing this now, of all times?

"Right," said Lee, clicking her pen in an authoritative manner. "What d'you guys think? Like, are you all Catholic or what?"

Lewis blinked in surprise. "What d'you mean? Are you not?"

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, Lee shrugged. "I believe there's a natural balance between all living things. Call it karma, or whatever. But I believe in harmony etc, without getting all holy on your ass."

More than mildly impressed, I raised an eyebrow. "Wow Lee. That's deep."

"Shut up," she snapped, yet her eyes carried a playful element. "How about you then? What d'you believe in?"

I shrugged this time, suddenly uncomfortable. I was increasingly aware of Jay's shaking figure as I frantically scourged my brain for a suitable response. In truth, I didn't really believe in anything beyond what I could see, or touch. It was a depressing outlook maybe, but... Anyway, I really didn't want to say that in front of Jay.

His wide green eyes were already brimming with tears.

"Well?" the other unfamiliar girl demanded impatiently. I shot her a glare.

"Does it matter?" I growled, satisfaction taking over when I saw her shrink back in her seat, her blue eyes widening in terror.

"Um, actually, it does," interjected the first girl. "Seeing as, you know, we're meant to be doing this as a group."

"Shut up," Lewis demanded, sending us all into a stunned silence. We all sat there in shock for a few moments, before he cleared his throat and quickly amended himself.

"I mean, uh, if Ash doesn't want to share, then he doesn't want to share, ok?"

I had never respected Lewis more.

"Ok Amy?" he repeated, much more forcefully this time. She blushed a little before hanging her head in surrender.

"Yeah."

"Cool." Lewis leant back in his seat, and I noted how he 'casually' slunk his arm over the back of Lee's chair. Evidently, she noticed too, and sent him an unsubtle death glare until he retracted his almost embrace. It wasn't as though she didn't enjoy it – she was just way to stubborn to admit it. I watched their playful flirting with something between amusement and jealousy.

I wished me and Jay could openly be like that.

But we couldn't. We weren't. So I just had to suck it up.

"Time's up," shouted the teacher, shattering my daydream. She clapped her hands and pointed to her first unfortunate victim. Said victim happened to be a tall yet meek girl from the front group with carrot coloured hair.

"You!" she demanded. "What did your group come up with?"

The girl swallowed nervously, her palms shaking discreetly under the table. I watched her with interest, waiting for her answer.

"Well, um... You see..." The girl anxiously bit her glistening bottom lip without any regard for the lip-gloss smeared across it. She rubbed her freckled nose, and then tried again.

"We think you go to heaven. Like, um, like God promised. When you die, that is..."

Jay's breathing hitched. I automatically reached for his arm, giving him a reassuring squeeze. And the teacher nodded her head in approval to the shaking girl, completely oblivious to the whole exchange.

"Exactly. Jay, what about you? What did you come up with?"

Jay licked his downturned lips, studiously avoiding all other eyes on him. He squeezed his eyes tight shut, and whispered, "I don't know."

"Hm?" the teacher asked, leaning forwards as though straining her ears. "Sorry pet, I can't hear you."

"I don't know," Jay repeated shakily. My fingers clenched around his arm and he gave me a small, grateful smile. But it quickly dropped from his face when he caught sight of the RE teacher's expression.

"Oh. Well, I'm sure your faith will be renewed," she mumbled, more to herself than Jay. "Anyway, we're going to make group posters on Christian Values. Love, Hope, Forgiveness, etc. So would someone from each group go and get a big sheet of sugar paper from the back, and some felt tips?"

"I'll get it," Jay murmured, obviously anxious to get away. My brows creased slightly in concern, but I released my grip anyway. He got up and left the table without a word, while Amy and that other girl immediately delved into the typical gossip.

"Jeez, what's up with that guy?" Amy spat, surreptitiously giving Jay an irritated glance. My hands curled into fists, while Lee immediately jumped in.

"What the hell do you mean?" she asked, her voice equally bitter. "What's up with you, you judgemental bitch?"

Amy and her friend immediately took offence. The other girl shot Lee a dirty look, Amy's pink mouth dropped open in shock, Lewis's arm furtively slid around Lee in silent moral support... While I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself down.

"Who are you calling a bitch?" Amy shrieked, her shrill voice driving through my skull like a drill. "I just want to know why he's giving everyone the cold shoulder! We've all been nothing but nice to Jay, and he's just been some quiet recluse. I know he's probably missing his mum and everything, but really... He needs to get a grip. I don't see what there is to cry about."

I slammed my fists on the table, my eyes seeping with pure fury and rage.

"Because Jay's mum has fucking cancer, that's why!"

The second the words spilling from my lips I regretted them. But I was so caught up in my blind rage to care. I was vaguely aware of the whole class, including Lee and Lewis, staring at my juddering body in shock. But I was completely focused on the cowering little girl in front of me.

"Linda is dying," I hissed, my voice oozing utter contempt. "Dying, do you get that? Jay has every fucking right to be upset. Don't you dare make assumptions about him like that, you insensitive prick."

A loud clatter from the back of the room suddenly pulled me from my rage induced daze. Jay stood, a cataclysm of felt tips rolling in all directions at his feet, his face paler than fresh snow.

His eyes were colder than snow too.

"I have to go," he croaked quietly, abruptly making a run for it. And the teacher simply stood there, too stunned by the heavy news to stop him.

"Shit!" I cursed, slapping a palm to my forehead. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"

And I took off after him, sprinting faster than I ever had in my life.

I didn't spare a glance for the silent classroom I was leaving behind.

"Jay!" I yelled frantically. "Jay! Jay! Wait up!"

I caught up with him half way down the end stairwell. His normally flawless face was blotchy and tear stained, and I felt choked up with guilt.

"Oh my God Jay," I moaned desperately. "I'm really, really fucking sorry! I am, I swear! I just didn't think-"

"But that's the problem," he whispered. My mouth immediately snapped shut. "You never think, Ash..."

The simple words had the same effect as an icy cold blade driving into my stomach.

"What?" I asked weakly. Jay bit his lips, tear and after tear falling from his eyes.

"I didn't want anyone to know," he said. "I didn't want all the false sympathy, the pity glares. I didn't want anyone to know."

"I'm sorry!" I wailed, making a grab for his arm. But he sidestepped my flailing hand and my heart dropped.

"I, um..." His voice was rough, grittier than I'd ever heard it. I flinched.

"I think I just need some time to myself right now," he finished lamely, and started walking down the stairs.

At that moment, the doors at the top of the stairs burst open. Lee and Lewis came flying down. But I was frozen to the spot.

I was vaguely aware of Lewis yelling my name, vaguely aware of Lee screaming at me to go after him. Vaguely aware that at any moment now the bell would ring and I'd be suffocated by a swarm of fellow teenagers.

But only one word was running through my head.

Jay...