Its okay. Your doing the right thing.

Jimin has felt like he was going crazy for a while now.

But now he felt like it was different.

The voice in his head had always been loud and demanding and threatening. And he's always been terrified of it.

But now it was just a quite voice in his mind. Which was even more horrifying than the one that would yell at him and curse him.

Just a little more. It won't work if you don't go deeper.

She always sounded beautiful.
Jimin doesn't remember a time without her voice.

He remembers a few days where he didn't need reminders or when he slept through an entire day.

Jimin might have done a lot of things to be thin. But he's never purged.

He was always afraid he'd be caught.

Until now.

Your not doing it right. Don't be nervous. Your tense. Just relax.

Jimin pushes his fingers as far down his throat at he can before he gags.

There it is. You did it.

Jimin pukes up what little dinner he had eaten that night but mostly just liquid.

Tears stream down his face and his nose and throat burn terribly.

Once more. Maybe twice if you want to be sure.

Jimin pushes himself until he can't puke anymore.

Jimin sobs softly to himself as he flushes the toilet.

Jimin stands his legs weak and his back sore.

He leans on the wall for support as he cuts the shower off.

He hated that. He hates it and he didn't want to do it again.

But being desperate is a crazy thing. And sometimes it calls for taking desperate measures.

Yoongi had ran out to pick up some batteries for the remote so Jimin is alone.

He hated being alone though.

Loneliness left him with only her voice to guide him through the darkness.

Jimin was brushing his teeth when he heard Yoongi come through the front door.

"Jiminie!" Yoongi calls through the flat.

Jimin comes from the bathroom meeting Yoongi in the hallway.

"Taehyung just called and invited us to hang out with him and Jungkook." Yoongi says.

"Oh. Okay." Jimin says fidgeting with the sleeves of his jumper.

"Do you wanna go?" Yoongi asks.

"You can go if you want to but I'm just gonna stay here." Jimin says.

"Why?" Yoongi asks.

"I'm kinda tired." Jimin shrugs. "You can go ahead I'll be alright."

"Why would I leave you?" Yoongi says. "If you don't want to go. I won't go."

"No Yoongi really. Just go." Jimin says.

"Are you sure?" Yoongi asks.

Normally he wouldn't leave Jimin but he really wanted to get out of the flat tonight.

"Yes. Go." Jimin says with a reassuring smile. "And have fun.

"Okay. I'll be back in an hour. Call me if you need me." Yoongi says before pecking Jimin on the cheek.

"Have a good time. Tell Tae and Jungkook I say hi." Jimin says walking Yoongi to the door.

"I will." Yoongi says before saying goodbye and leaving Jimin. Alone.

Jimin decides to try and make the most of his time alone by making a video.

Usually his video ideas come naturally and even when they don't he's been proud of them.

But its just hard to created​ good content when there's so much pressure.

Even from followers who genuinely cared about him.

Appearance seemed to be all anyone ever cared about and Jimin felt pressure to try and meet everyone's expectations.

But when would trying not be enough?

What would happen if you tried so hard you kill all your dreams and goals.

Or even worse. Yourself.

When would trying just be. Too much.

They tell you that if you fail at something you should try again.

Jimin was tired of trying.

Trying. And for what?

In the end none of us will be remembered. Even those who are remembered will be forgotten.

So what is the point in pleasing the mass majority of the world that want you to look a certain way.

Or be certain way. When in the end if you weren't happy. You weren't anything.

Shut up Jimin.
You don't know what your talking about.
Even if you were happy. You'd still be fat. And useless.
Just stop trying to sike yourself out.

You'll never be good enough.

Not for you.
Not for Yoongi.
Not for anyone.