On the outside it looked as if he wasn't trying.

As if he were just getting by to make Yoongi stay.

But on the inside it felt like he was going insane.

Like he was breaking every rule he had scolded himself into becoming accustomed to.

But all Yoongi saw was how distant he was.

All Yoongi saw was how much he didn't eat instead of how much he did.

Yoongi didn't see that he was hurting himself for his sake.

All he saw was that everything he was doing wasn't enough.

And it broke both their hearts.

Why couldn't Yoongi see how hard he was trying?

Why couldn't Jimin just try a little harder?

"It just feels like you're not even trying." Yoongi says as Jimin dumps his food away.

"I am Yoongs." Jimin says. "Why can't you see that I am?"

"Because you're not. You haven't changed a thing Jimin. You still only eat once a day and you hardly eat then. What happened? You seemed so motivated before." Yoongi says.

"How could you say that?" Jimin asks in a hurt tone. "You have no idea how much I'm trying for you Yoongi."

"Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself!" Yoongi says raising his voice a bit.

"I don't care about myself!" Jimin says raising his voice just as much. "I care about you! So I'm doing this for you!"

"Doing what?" Yoongi yells back standing to face him.

"Trying!" Jimin yells. "Can't you at least appreciate that I'm trying!"

"Well you aren't trying hard enough!" Yoongi yells.

"Fine!" Jimin shouts. "What do you want me to do? Snap my fingers and just make it happen!? It doesn't work like that Yoongi."

Yoongi turns and leaves the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Jimin calls following after him.

"I'm done with this Jimin." Yoongi says in a voice that is a lot quieter as he enters his room.

"We can't keep doing this Yoongi." Jimin says.

"Doing what?" Yoongi says raising his voice more than he ever has in the past.

"Running away from each other!" Jimin says following Yoongi as he grabs his book bag that was mindlessly stuffed with things he might need.

"I'm not the one running away Jimin." Yoongi stops to look him in the eye. "You are."

Jimin breaks eye contact looking down at the ground.

"I spend so much time trying to help but Jimin...The only person who can help you right now. Is you." Yoongi says.

"Please don't leave me Yoongs." Jimin says fidgeting with his shirt sleeves.

"I can't Jimin." Yoongi says. "I can't take this anymore."

The look in Jimin's eyes is more than heartbreaking as he continues to cry.

"You don't mean that Yoongi. You're just. You're just tired and I get that. I understand. But. I'll leave. I'll go." Jimin stutters out.

While both options result in Yoongi not being with him Jimin finds more comfort in knowing he's home and not somewhere he couldn't get to him.

"No Jimin." Yoongi says his tone defeated and heartbroken. "I have to go. Just know none of this is your fault. You can't control what your going through but you can control how to fix it."

"Yoongi I'm begging you pl-"

"Jimin." Yoongi stops him. "Just stop. Its over. Its finished."

"Don't say that." Jimin says trying to calm his sobs.

Yoongi himself didn't know whether he meant the conversation or their relationship.

Yoongi has spent so many days feeling guilty and selfish for living while Jimin was dying right beside him. He'd spent days trying to fix a problem that wasn't his to fix.

"I love you Jiminie. I've always loved you." Yoongi says calmly. "I just. I just can't help you anymore."

Jimin looks Yoongi in the eye as he says the words he never wanted to hear.

"Goodbye Jimin."

Yoongi then walks out the front door with nothing more than his backpack and his phone.

When Yoongi walked out that day leaving the broken shell of a man he once knew on the hallway floor crying. He didn't know he'd never turn back. He didn't know he'd never see that apartment again. He didn't know he'd never see the one person he loved more that life itself. Ever again.

End.

***