Hey there,

I could tell you many things. I could tell you how I value you so much as a person. How I love your batshit crazy sneezes. How I get excited whenever I see that notification on my phone saying that you're typing on Snapchat. How I love your crazy, goofy side and just how well it gels with mine. How I think you are so gorgeous, truly stunning, and want to tell you it every day.

I could tell you that my voice is dry. That I don't know how to fake a smile when I'm sad. That my facial expressions don't ever match what I'm feeling, and that I'm sorry I couldn't be clearer.

I'm sorry that I leave you clueless. I wish I could tear through my anxiety and just... be direct with you. It's probably too much to ask, but could you keep me talking to me? It gives me the confidence that, one day, I'll be able to tell you the truth.

But in reality, there is only one thing that I need to say. You are one of the most important people in my life because you do something to me that no one has ever managed before — you make me want to love myself. The way you care about me, the way you tell me how much I mean to you, it makes me want to believe it. Because then one day maybe I can be worthy of loving you.

So, um, thanks.

Anya