A/n: .
TW: blood

Virgil walked away from the table and walked to his room, and got a text.

Romano: hey virgil??

Emo nightmare: sup

Romano: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE

Emo nightmare: ...what?

Romano: Remus took my phone sorry.

Emo nightmare: go figure. Welp i'm going to bed, goodnight.

Virgil threw his phone on his charger and collapsed onto his bed, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

His door opened quietly.

Roman came in and lied down next to Virgil, pulling him close.

Virgil snuggled deep into Roman's chest, and Roman put an arm around his boyfriend.

Everything was peaceful.

Roman snuggled impossibly closer to Virgil, and closed his eyes.

Nothing could ruin this moment.

"VIRGIL!" Janus screeched, running i to the room, slamming the door open, running to the bed, and jumping on Virgil.

"Dee what the-"

"HUSH PEASANT!"

"Jan what are you doing?" Virgil asked, yawning and waking up. "Roman why are you in my bed?" Virgil asked, finally noticing Roman.

"HE'S NOT IMPORTANT AT THE MOMENT!" Janus screamed.

Roman made an offended Princey noise and scoffed.

Janus grabbed Virgil and sunk down with him, bringing him into Remus' room.

Virgil looked at Remus, his eyes widening. "Oh god..." he whispered.

Remus was on the floor bleeding out.

"JANUS, WHAT HAPPENED??"

"Oh, I hit his prostate too hard, I need you to help me patch him up." Janus answered cooly.

"Again? ....hOw?" Virgil asked with a surprised voice crack.

"Jaaaaannn" Remus moaned.

"Oh hush, i'm not even in you anymore. Now Virgil, what I need you to do, is spread his cheeks while I stick a cotton ball really far down into his butt hole, to soak all the blood up." Janus said, explaining with a look of determination.

"Actually, I think i'll use a tampon instead. Those work nicely, correct?" Janus asked.

"Why are you asking me?" Virgil asked.

Janus shrugged and conjured up a tampon.

"Alright, spread his bloody butt cheeks real far apart Virge."

"Welp, we've done way grosser, so okay.." he agreed reluctantly.

Virgil sat down criss cross apple sauce, and grabbed Remus' butt cheeks.

"Just as squishy as I remember.." Virgil muttered.

"Okay, so..i'm going to stick this tampon way down inside of there, alright Remus?" Janus asked.

"Just do it." Remus groaned.

Janus opened the tampon, sticking it inside of Remus, and reaching his hand really far into his hole to get it to his prostate, Remus moaning out curses and Janus' name the entire time.

Janus finally got it where he needed it to be, and said, "alright Remus you're all se-"

The door slammed open.

"SEE GUYS? JANUS KIDNAPPED VIR-"

Roman stopped in his tracks upon seeing what was in front of him.

JANUS' arm elbow deep inside of Remus, Virgil sitting on the floor, having Remus' cheeks spread far apart with his hands, and blood everywhere.

"What is happening?" Patton asked in confusion.

Logan walked in, a look of horror on his face.

"OKAY OKAY OKAY O K A Y, I HAVE SEEN IT ALL, GOOD NIGHT SAN DIEGO, PATTON, WE ARE LEAVING!" Logan screamed, dragging Patton out.

Roman stood there awkwardly.

"Is..is...is Remus...okay?" He asked, looking at his moaning mess of a brother.

"Hm? Oh yeah, Jan hit his prostate to hard." Virgil said.

"Is this a normal occurrence?" Roman asked in shock.

"Well, it's happened a few times before." Janus said, pulling his bloody hand out of his boyfriend's hole, the long tampon sticking out.

Virgil let go of his butt cheeks slowly, and stood up.

"Okay. I am extremely grossed and weirded out. I hope your prostate feels better soon Remus, adios amigos!" Roman said, running out.

"Awe I think we scared him." Virgil said with a snicker.

"This has been fun, but I need to wash my hands, and you need to give him a bath and maybe jerk each other off in the shower, while I clean all this blood up." Virgil said.

"Alright, thanks for helping Virgil!" Janus said, leading Remus to the bathroom while Virgil began to clean up the blood with a smile on his face.