A/N: Hello F-R-U-I-T-S!
LMAO you know what I mean.
Here's a cute fluffy Brallon one shot I made. And no Dallon can never be too Perfect.

Enjoy
🍓

“Dude there’s something wrong with Dallon!” Brendon yelled as he paced the floor. Spencer could care less about whatever was going on with the two lovebirds. Last time he seem to care, Brendon gave him a very detailed play by play of their sexual romps. Spencer still has nightmares about it. Brendon continued to pace the floor as he bit his nails. Spencer was helpless against seeing his friend seeming so distraught.

“What are you talking about now Bren?” Spencer sighed as he put his phone down. It was really hard to text with his annoying pacing. Brendon finally looked in his direction when he saw he had his full attention.

“Dude, he’s totally weird. I mean he barely drinks. Never really curses. Doesn't smokes. And is always so pleasant to everyone. It's just not right!” Brendon said as he began to pace again.

“I don't know about you, but those all sound like GOOD qualities Brendon.” Spencer wasn't really seeing the point of this conversation. He casually sipped his coffee as he awaited better reasons for bothering him.

“That's right! He's TOO good. And no one is that perfect all the time. So I deduced that It's simple. Dallon’s a robot!” Brendon shouted as if that was the smartest thing ever. Spencer nearly choked on his coffee because he's done some dumb things before, but this takes the cake. He couldn't possibly be serious.

“What?” Spencer replied once he regain his composure. Brendon cleared his throat like he was about to make an important speech.

“Spencer my good man. I believe that my boyfriend is a robot. And I can prove it! So are you in?” Brendon said calmly. Yeah this idiot is serious. What could Spencer do? He rolled his eyes as he stood up from the couch.

“Come on prove it then.” Spencer replied as he pulled Brendon by his arm towards the door. Why not play along, it'll make for a funny story later on anyway. Just one of many stupid adventures he’s accompanied Brendon on. He should really make a book, he’d have an endless supply of material because his dear friend never really grew up.

They found Dallon in one of the dressing rooms. He was quietly typing away at his lap top like usual. They peeked through the glass on the door to spy on him.

“Look, he's on that damn computer again it's like second nature to him.” Brendon said as he peered in the window.

“So now you're jealous of his laptop?” Spencer replied. Brendon rolled his eyes at the thought. As if that laptop could compare to the greatness that is Brendon Urie.

“Ha, I’d like to see it try to take my place.” Brendon huffed. Yeah he was totally jealous Spencer deduced. He knew Brendon was always an attention whore and would do pretty much anything to keep it. Now being one of those times actually. “Besides you're missing the point Spence. Who can type that fast!?” Brendon said as he pushed his non-believing friend's face into the glass. Spencer didn't know why he even agreed to follow him.

“And!? He can type fast so can a lot of people?” Spencer replied as he pushed away from the door. They were now facing each other.

“But he type with his pinkies too! Like WHO really uses their pinkies? They're pretty much useless.” Brendon protested. He leaned against the wall as he crossed his arms to add to his argument.

“I don't know Brendon, like the ENTIRE human race! And pinkies not only help you hold things, some can even type with them. So just because Dallon can type faster than you does not make him strange.” Spencer countered will a roll of his eyes.

“So what! I'm a better singer than him anyway so there.” He replied as he stuck out his tongue. And there goes that jealousy again. Brendon suddenly pulled him as a stage helper came to get Dallon. They hid around the corner.

“Hey Mr. Weekes the stage is set-up whenever you want to do your preliminary soundchecks.” The guy said. Dallon looked up from his computer.

“Okay I'll be right there. Oh and you can call me Dallon no need to be formal.” He replied with that award winning smile of his. The guy blushed in response and he took his leave. Dallon soon followed.

“Just call me Dallon, I mean really does he have to go over the top to be so nice to everyone!?” Brendon mocked as they rounded the corner. Does this man’s jealousy ever cease!? Spencer looked at him in disbelief. “Come on you want more proof, then I'll show you.” Brendon huffed angrily as he pulled Spencer along for the ride.

They hid on the sidelines behind the curtains as they watched Dallon. He constantly fiddled with his bass to make sure it sounded perfect. He would play a few chords then tweak his amp. Spencer saw nothing out of whack, but awaited to see what Brendon would come up with.

“Now look at that, who spends that much time on one instrument? I mean aside from being vain you gotta admit it's weird.” Brendon said as he pointed at him like he had made his point (pun intended).

“Okay so he likes to double check his bass, what's wrong with that? He just wants to put on a good show.” Spencer said as his patience for Brendon was running thin. Dallon smiled and rubbed his bass when he found the right sound. He was mumbling something they couldn't hear from the sidelines. It was too noisy.

“You see! You see now! Dallon talks to his equipment! Only robots would communicate with machinery like that!” Brendon said excitedly as he jumped up and down. Honestly where did Bren get his information? And as for the spying he clearly had a lot to learn. I mean shouting and pointing like an idiot is the best way to get caught. Lucky for them Dallon was walking away and didn't hear them. “Come on he’s on the move let's follow him.” Brendon whispered as he snatched Spencer through the back.

 They finally caught up with Dallon, when he made it back to the tour bus. He settled down for a nap before the show. They peered at him from the sliding door separation.

“Okay Bren, now I feel like some pervert staring at Dall while he sleeps.” Spencer said as he went back towards the front of the bus.

“Dude you gotta do a whole lot worse to qualify as a pervert. Believe me.” Brendon said as he followed him. They stood in the lounge area to talk so they wouldn't wake him.

“How would you-on second thought I don't wanna know. Just make your claim so I can counter it. I would really like to relax before the show tonight too.” Spencer sighed as he was done playing along. Stupidity is only fun to watch for so long.

“What grown man takes naps!? He oblivious needs recharging like a-” Brendon started to accuse.

“OH MY GOD BRENDON!!! If you say robot one more time!? I'm gonna strangle you!?” Spencer shouted as his patience had now ran out.

“But Spence!?” Brendon tried to interject. He really needed him to listen.

“No buts! The man is just tired! You know like I am with you right now!?” He continued to shout. Brendon started to pout. He was always powerless against the pout. He felt bad for yelling at him, but he really needed to stop. “Look I'm sorry Bren, I didn't mean to shout I was just frustrated.” Spencer said as he hugged his best friend.

“No prob we yell all the time. We’re cool.” Brendon replied as he hugged him back. Being this close to him, Spencer got a faint smell of pot on him.

“Brendon please tell me you're not high right now?” Spencer asked calmly. Brendon giggled in response. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? YOU DRUG ME AROUND ALL AFTERNOON AFTER SOME DUMB IDEA YOU GOT BECAUSE YOU WERE HIGH!?” Spencer yelled as he gripped Brendon’s shoulders. Brendon had a hard time trying not to laugh right now.

“Now I'll admit I may have had a little to smoke, but that doesn't excuse Dallon’s weird behavior.” He said once the giggles faded. Brendon began to back up to allow some space between them for his safety.

“He’s not being weird, he's just nice okay! He can type fast, likes to play his bass, and take naps. He normal just like you and me Brendon. Now get that through your big dumb forehead!” Spencer said as he sat down on the couch.

“Hey the fangirls happen to like my forehead.” Brendon huffed as he crossed his arms in defense.

“That’s it!” Spencer said as he lunged at Brendon. After the stupid and pointless day he had, he refused to argue about Brendon’s forehead vanity. He didn't have time to run as Spencer grabbed his shoulders and began to shake some sense into him literally. Brendon screamed for him to stop. In all the commotion they didn't noticed that they had now woken Dallon. He stood there confused as to what he had just walked in on.

Brendon continued to scream as Spencer shook him. They were both on the floor with Spencer on top of Brendon. Dallon cleared his throat to let them know of his presence, but they were too busy fighting to notice. Well Spence attacking Bren was more like it.

“Excuse me!” Dallon shouted to get their attention. They froze as they looked up at him. “Could you finish forcing yourself on Bren somewhere else I was trying to sleep.” He joked as he eyed their position on the floor. Spencer noticed how crazy they must’ve looked. He quickly jumped up to his feet, pulling Brendon with him.

“Umm no Dallon you got it all wrong. I was trying to-uhh me and Bren are just friends.Believe me.” He tried to explain as he blushed deeply from embarrassment. Brendon just laughed at his face. Partly because of his blushing and the other part because he was still high. Spencer punched him in the arm to get him to shut up. He yelped at the pain, but still continued to giggle.

“Calm down it was a joke. Anyway what are you two doing? And why were you guys following me all day?” Dallon asked with suspension.

“Well Scooby Doo here thought your were a robot and decided to drag me along.” Spencer said as he pointed his thumb in Brendon’s direction. Dallon was now thoroughly confused. “Let him explain it. I'm out. See ya tonight.” He said as he waved bye to the two as he exited the bus.

“Bren what is he talking about?” Dallon asked once he left. Brendon flashed that same sly smile he always does when he does crazy things. “Brendon?” He warned.

“Okay, okay. I think well thought you were a robot because I was smoking earlier and thinking. And naturally I think of you. And then I thought how strange you act. Like the niceness, barely cursing and drinking. Then the fast typing, talking to your bass, and your naps and and-” Brendon began to ramble on. Dallon knew there was a real meaning behind all this and he was just afraid to say it.

“Brendon tell the real reason for all this?” Dallon cut in. He gave him his full attention. Those deep blue eyes always got to Brendon. While he hated showing his vulnerable side (hence the overpowering cockiness) he couldn't resist to fall under Dallon’s stare.

“Well, how could you say you love me so fast? I mean how can you be so sure?” Brendon finally said. He looked so unsure of himself. “ I mean why me? I'm mess up to the max as you see. So that's why you had to be a robot or something, because no one would fall for a guy like me.” He hated to admit that he didn't believe that anyone as great as Dallon to like him let alone love him. Dallon smiled as he pulled him into a hug.

“Well I guess in a way you can say I'm a robot.” Dallon said as he looked down at Brendon’s confused face. “Because my love for you is just automatic. Like God made me especially for you.” He added with a bigger smile. He nearly laughed because he was afraid his very high boyfriend would actually believe he was a robot if he didn't explain. But then Brendon’s face lit up like christmas lights. He really was beautiful to look at.

“You-you really mean that Dall?” He asked as his eyes got all misty. Dallon couldn't help but pull him in for a kiss.

“Yeah I do Bren. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried.” He joked as he wiped the stray tears from his face. Brendon just melted into his touch. He yawned as his head rubbed against Dallon's chest. “Let’s get some rest. Detective work can really wear a guy out.” He joked as he pulled Brendon back towards the beds. They laughed at the funny thought. Brendon soon fell fast asleep wrapped around Dallon. He gazed down at him with a smile as he ran his fingers through his hair. Dallon thought he’d be willing to be anything Brendon’s crazy mind could think up, if that meant he could stay with him forever.