yet another fucking day of hell.

i skipped school,

i smoked,

drank,

and thought all day until the night came.

then,

i went home to find yet another fake ass family dinner.

her family was there eating with mine.

they all looked so shocked as i came in with the alcohol bottle in my shaking hands,

your old visible love bites still showing on my neck,

and red scars taking up the skin on my wrists since i didn't wear long sleeves or a jacket today,

and my mother and father were more than pissed off.

but honestly,

i didn't care.

i didn't want to feel anymore;

i couldn't feel anymore.

they told me to go up to room and not come down until i was sober and sane.

shit,

i don't think that'll be ever.

i went into my room and laid on my bed enjoying the feeling of not having to hurt because of the intoxication.

that was,

until i saw something.

four bottles of pills sitting in
an organized line on my desk.

they looked absolutely lovely right now.