Summer: Day 33

Mack's POV:

Zachariah leans down and kisses my lips three times. I love you. "I'll see you tomorrow, I promise."

I nod, reaching up to kiss him again. "You could just come over again," I suggest.

He smirks. "Doesn't sound like too bad of an idea—"

"But you have plans with the boys and I gotta respect that," I say with an attitude, rolling my eyes. "It's alright, feel free to ditch me."

He ruffles up my hair and chuckles. "Bye, Kenz."

I push him away playfully and walk towards the street. "Bye."

When he gets in his car and drives away, I sit in my own and look up at the house I grew up in. Janet and Shawn Lemay; my supposed-to-be parents. She kicked me out—she actually failed as a parent.

It's funny, some people play the victims for the crimes they committed. My mom cared about how I made her look more than how I was actually feeling. She never cared to ask how my day was, what I did, what I wanted to do. She was so self-absorbed, she'd tell me to get my life together at the same time hers was falling apart, and when I did the things she'd get on me about, it wasn't what she wanted; it wasn't good enough for her. I wasn't good enough for her.

But in life, you can't please everyone. My dad couldn't please my mom, I suppose. He turned into a drunk, self-entitled businessman who abused his daughter in hopes that'd change the path his life was going down. News flash, that didn't work. The knife didn't cut me deep enough.

Pissed off with my thoughts, I open my car door and head straight to the house of hell. I was going to confront them, regardless of what they wanted to say, because I've had enough of their dictatorship to tolerate it any longer. The last week of being alone, away from them, has been such a breeze; it was so easy to detach myself from them. And that, they needed to know how much better off I am without them.

I open the front door and, to my surprise, it's unlocked. Irresponsible people, am I right?

But the second I open the door is the second I lose any small ounce of respect I had for my mother, and Mr. Montgomery for all that I know. Because there they were, going at it like rabbits on the couch. God help me please.

"What the hell is going on here?" I ask in a demanding tone, not able to look away. This is the worst thing I've ever seen. "Richard, stop fucking my mom right now and tell me what the hell is going on here," I say again when they don't stop.

He lets out a groan and finishes with no shame before turning around, completely undressed. Okay I did not need to see that. "What are you doing here?" he snaps, eyes enraged with anger.

I do my best to keep my gaze on his eyes. "What are you doing here, asshole?"

"Language," my mom says, throwing the man's shirt over her head in an attempt to cover herself up.

"No," I say, my hatred through the roof. "I'm eighteen and you kicked me out. You have no right whatsoever to tell me what to do. If you wanted my respect, all that just went down the drain. What the fuck is he doing here?"

"We were clearly having sex," Richard deadpans, crossing his arms. "You'll be next if you don't shut that bratty trap of yours."

"I'm not interested in your dick," I retort, scoffing. "I have your son for that." As if they needed to know that. Quite frankly, I don't care right now.

"Which son, Mackenzie Lane Lemay?" he taunts, clicking his teeth. He emphasizes every vowel to add a dreadful effect to the words.

I roll my eyes. "Put on some pants. I don't want to see the only thing left of your manhood, it's disgusting."

He chuckles evilly and slips on his trousers, his eyes still scrutinizing. "Have you ever wondered why you have that middle name?"

"Richard Lane Montgomery," I deadpan, not playing his game.

He narrows his eyes and nods, impressed that I know his full name. Use Google, it's not that hard. "Your mom never loved your dad, she loved me. The only issue was that he got her pregnant and she had you, so she named you that," he explains in a sickening voice. "Lane. To make sure you knew how big of a mistake you were. How you ruined both of our lives."

"You realize you're calling yourself a mistake," I point out, raising an eyebrow at him.

"At least I didn't come into the world unwanted," he spits.

I glance down at my feet and feel both anger and sadness boil within me. "You really think I'm gonna let you get under my skin?" I ask, though my voice wavers a bit.

"I know I already have," he observes, looking me up and down. "You're just as pathetic as your father."

I scoff. "Believe me, so are you."

"Mackenzie," my mom voices. "Do not come into my house and then act like you own the place."

"This is dad's house," I say, gesturing to the place I hate. "So I think I have a right to be rude to whoever I want because you don't listen to what he says either. You walked right up and kissed your marriage vows goodbye."

"We signed the divorce papers, your father is in jail," she replies, eyes long and distant, her stare cold and tantalizing.

I laugh. "Good, as he should be."

"He wanted you to visit him," she says, unamused.

 "I don't really care, he can go die in a hole. He deserves it anyways."

"Shawn was arrested last night, but they said he was able to have visitors," Richard says, matching my mother's phlegm. "I think you should go."

"And why would I listen to you, Richard?" Nobody asked you.

"So I can go back to fucking your mom."

The audacity of this man. Please, can somebody kill him? I will gladly create a petition.

"You know what, fuck all of you! I hope you all go die a painful death because I am so sick and tired of you guys acting like children. Just own up to the fact that you're not who you portray yourselves to be," I say, beyond irritated. "And the fact that you think my mother is in love with you bewilders me. Trust me, she's not worth the trouble."

"You're more ungrateful than she said you were," he states.

"No wonder your name is Richard, you're such a dick."

Richard takes a step forward, his hairy chest still exposed. "Be careful with who you think has your back, Mackenzie Lane."

"I'd be worrying about your own back before you worry about mine," I deadpan, giving him a disapproving look. "Your back might be thrown out the way you were giving it to my mom."

He snarls at me and points to the door. "Out or you won't be able to walk tomorrow."

I already feel like my legs are gonna fall off, thanks to your son.

"Gladly. And by the way—" I turn around to leave with the last word. "I never asked to be born. You and dad could've saved a lot of trouble had you worn protection, don't make the same mistake again."

******

WAITING AROUND THE jail was a weird place to spend my afternoon. The only reason I showed up was to get closure: why was my dad in jail? That, and he couldn't physically abuse me as long as there were guards around.

When one of the officers comes out, he motions me to follow him into a visiting room. I let him lead me down the blank hallways of the worn down building, a million questions filling my mind.

"You can visit for ten minutes at max," the officer says, his voice strict. "I will let you know when your time is up."

I nod, giving him a nervous smile that turns more into a frown. "Thank you."

"A young girl like you shouldn't come here alone," he observes, opening the door for me. And before I can reply, he leaves. I have a feeling I won't need all those ten minutes.

I take a deep breath and walk into the room, the boxiness of it making me feel claustrophobic. It's so plain, so boring, so... depressing. Why would anyone do something knowing they'd end up here?

"Mack," my dad says, his voice low and challenging. "Have a seat."

I sit down on the other side of the table hesitantly, taking a good look at him. His beard was overgrown, eyes dark with bags under them, his hair was messy, and but his eyes were no longer bloodshot because he hadn't had alcohol in his system for a day.

"Why did you want me here?"

"I have ten minutes to talk to you, so just keep your mouth shut unless I ask you to speak. Got it?" Still the bastard he's always been.

I nod.

"I guess you probably wanna know why I'm here?"

"Yeah. Why?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"Not for the reasons you think," he explains, his hands combing through his beard, his wrists restrained with handcuffs. "Richard Montgomery, he wanted things I wouldn't give him."

"Mom," I say, giving him a glare. "He wanted mom."

"He wanted you," he says, clenching his jaw.

I roll my eyes, laughing. "Yeah right."

"I'm not a good man, Mackenzie," he says, leaning forward and lowering his voice. "I've been a bad person to a lot of people for a long time, but you have to hear me out when I say this because it's true."

"I think 'bad' is the understatement of the century, Shawn," I return. "What could you have to say that will possibly change how I view you?"

"I'm not asking for forgiveness, I just want you to know the truth because the two boys will never say it," he explains, steepling his chin with his two fists.

"What do you mean?" I ask, cocking my head to the side. "What two boys?"

"Richard is one cruel man to pull you into our business affair." My dad cracks his neck and stares at me. "He proposed a deal when you were sixteen; you would marry his oldest when the time was right, and I would get a part of his business—"

"Hold up," I say, cutting him off. "As in an arranged marriage?" Is that why Zachariah said he wants to marry me someday?

"Yes, and I think he's known for a while now—"

I can't believe this—him, can I? "So you wanted to set me up?"

"I see the way you look at him... what's his name? Zachariah. You already love him." My dad clicks his teeth. "The question is, does he love you? Does he love you, or is he just using you?"

"Don't put that kind of doubt in the back of my mind."

"Has he said he loves you?" my dad taunts, shifting in his chair. "Or has he said he wants to marry you someday, give you the world..." His gaze meets my own, his stare challenging. "Has he promised you things that revolve around his future? All without saying he loves you? Because if he knows about this arrangement, he'd know that's what his father wanted him to do. The Montgomerys aren't the type of people you want to mix yourself with, sweetheart. Don't get fooled by their good looks, your mother already has."

I stay silent, looking down at my hands. Is he right? Is everything that happened between Zachariah and I fake? Everything I gave him, is it all just for his excitement? Does he see me as a challenge? A way to earn approval from his dad? Does he not love me? He never said he did... is he just using me?

"You're not worthy of love," my dad deadpans.

I let his words stab me. "And I wonder why," I whisper, letting everything sink in.

"Because you come from two people who never loved you," he explains. "I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. No one will ever love you the way you want to be loved, so stop hoping they will."

"Just because your marriage didn't work out doesn't mean you can lash it out on me," I say, trying to act unfazed.

My dad chuckles. "And look at where I am, on my way to prison."

"You did it all to yourself. I think you just have a hard time accepting the harsh reality of it all."

"And you have a hard time accepting your own harsh reality. Kylar, that quote-on-quote best friend of yours, he's the one who started talking to his dad again and put me in here," my dad says, his words cutting through the silence

"Why would I trust you?" I ask, glaring at him. "Kylar hasn't talked to his dad in ages."

"So he lied to you?"

"I think everyone in my life is messed up," I deadpan. "Nobody is who they say they are and they walk around thinking everything is perfect."

"So you do trust me?" he asks. "Enough to believe what I've told you?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore," I say, putting my face in my hands.

He nods, dissecting my words and digesting them. "Believe what I tell you is true, save yourself from falling in love with somebody without knowing who they really are—I should know."

"If you think mom's at fault, I hope prison serves as a good reflection for you," I say, getting up from my chair. "I think you've criticized enough people for today. I'd advise that you look in the mirror and criticize yourself for once."

"I would if prison had mirrors," he says, unamused.

"You can go rot in hell with mom and Richard," I say before leaving the room; leaving the jailhouse, leaving him forever.

My dad had talked a lot of crap in his life, but he's never said something so... believable, so spot on. Zachariah being forced to marry me, Richard's business deal gone awry, Kylar putting my dad in jail—though I could care less about the last incident. I wanted my dad gone, away from me as far as possible. But everything else, somehow it made sense knowing who Richard is and how things have been this summer.

Zachariah came home with a different view of life, with a lie; a lie that he had a girlfriend—me. A lie that he used to bait me into believing he cared even a little bit for me. He should be an actor; he knows how to fake the look of love, of lust, of everything I thought he felt. Because he couldn't just suddenly realize he's liked me after all these years. How could I have been so blind?

Who to trust, my dad or the guy I thought I knew?

And Kylar, I'm not mad at him for talking to his dad again. Surprised, yes, but not mad. It's his life, and though he didn't tell me he was involved in his father's business, I couldn't say it was my place to judge. It hurts not being in the loop, but this summer we've grown apart in a way.

Because I thought Zachariah was worth it—he is worth it, right?

I grip my scalp in agony. I don't know what to believe anymore. Maybe I just need space. Deacon once said, 'Girls think they're playing hard to get, but they're really just testing to see how serious a guy is.' If I distance myself for a little bit, maybe—maybe I'll find out if Zachariah loves me like I hope he does.

I lay my forehead against the steering wheel of my car and it honks, causing me to become more emotional. I hit the dashboard and let myself cry. I don't even know who I am anymore.

Just someone unworthy of love.

Author's Note:

i'm gonna stay silent because i don't know what i just wrote 0_0