You watched as your fists clenched and unclenched against your thighs. Your mouth was drawn in a faint line and your optics remained focused on your servos, taking in all of the familiar scratches and dents slender servos and digits, but filled with strength from the rage hidden away within them, the desire to fight against the life laid out for you. Though you kept your emotions locked away within you not touching the meal that had been placed before you nearly an hour ago as your sire spoke with an older mech about you.

It felt like the table was drifting farther and farther away from everyone else leaving you isolated on an island in the middle of an inky darkness of silence ready to swallow you whole and leave you a drifting nothing bobbing up for just a brief breathless moment before the waves shove you below the surface once again. 

You struggled to keep the tremble from shaking your plates, you can't show them how you're feeling, anything against them will result in punishment locked away in the darkness. You couldn't hear a word that was being spoken, not that you wanted to know what they were planning for you, you just wanted to be left alone. 

Biting down into your inner cheek you spared a glance to the window next to you, taking just your optics away from your servos for just a moment. You did a lot people watching, usually when you were locked away in your room overlooking the street. Though your eyes landed on a small pop up across the street from this little diner, a recruitment pop up, you didn't know too much about the Eliteguard besides what you heard in passing, it seemed interesting, it was fun to imagine yourself free enough to be a member of such a thing.

Drawing your optics reluctantly away from the stand and back to your servos a small frown managed to creep onto your face as your fists began to shake. It wasn't fair!

It wasn't!

It wasn't!

It-!!

You snapped when you felt a servo against your shoulder, your frame stiffening up sharply at the gentle touch. Your bleary optics struggled to focus in on the tear droplets that had landed against your balled up and shaking servos. The fluid running quickly along the crevices and faint scratches to puddle against the floor, you managed to still your shaking frame before hesitantly turning to face the owner of the servo on your shoulder. You found the gentle face of the Magnus instead of an expression twisted with hate and anger, furrowing your brows you turned your teary optics back towards your servos.

You remembered where you were, in a side hall leading towards the garage, you were trying to run, escape, you never managed to make it before your emotions choked up your throat pipes and caused your shaking collapse in the hide away hole. A memory that you has blocked back managing to wiggle back up into your processor and curse you with the pain from the past.

"(y/n) are you alright?" He asked softly kneeling beside you placing the hammer down gently

You managed a nod biting down hard into your derma as more tears began to well up again making your vision of your servos start to blur up again. Optimus frowned a little at the action and gave your shoulder a gentle rub, an action that you tensed up against for a moment before relaxing against it. Before you could stop them the tears began to roll down your cheek plates and against your servos. 

The same slender servos tense with so much rage against the world that had snatched the one chance of escape they had and refused to allow you relief in safety that could be taken away oh so easily. 

"I apologize if I said anything to cause this.." Optimus added with a small frown rubbing your shoulder again drawing your attention gently to him, "I didn't mean to hurt you in anyway."

Shaking your helm a little you exhaled shakily, "N-no, it had nothing to do with you Magnus sir.." You managed evening out your tone 

"Though I feel like I may have stirred up something about a bad previous relationship or memory of some sort based on your reaction, so please, I am terribly sorry.." Optimus said tilting his helm down a little 

You managed a quiet chuckle, "No sir.. I apologize for my outburst I don't know what came over me..." Well you did but he didn't need to know

His touch was a relaxing one, and you craved more of it, but reserved yourself enough not to lean against his chassis, just leaning slightly into his servo stroking over your servo in a kind manner.

"Thank you... for coming after me.." You said softly lifting a servo up to rub your cheek, "It means a lot."

"It's not a problem you're a member of the team after all, and we all need to be helped every once in awhile." He hummed offering you a small smile which you managed back.

Yeah...

A member of the team.