This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things...Like World Peace


"Hello, Aizawa? May I speak with you?"

Shouta already spent for too much time with kids already, but he slowly turned around. Yaoyorozu was at him with a polite, patient smile. She was a natural leader, and Shouta liked that about her. Her hair was pulled back nicely and she wore the school uniform. She was even at the school, and it was a Saturday.

"What do you want?" He was on his way to the teachers' lounge and he was absolutely starving. He wondered whose day it was to bring food. If it was his day, he wasn't sure he had enough energy to improvise. He could always invite them out to lunch. He refused to go anywhere a sleeping bag was socially unacceptable.

Yaoyorozu handed him an envelope with a little bow. "I am asking for your permission to allow the class to go on a road trip. I believe that it will be a nice surprise."

He quirked an eyebrow, but he opened the envelope and scanned the contents. It was too much to read. "Is this your idea?" he asked. It sounded more like a statement.

Yaoyorozu shook her head. "It was Mina's idea. I am planning on organizing the event. I'll begin as soon as possible."

Shouta huffed and began to walk away. "Knock yourself out."

Yaoyorozu gasped, flustered. She bounced up and down on her toes. She was most likely unaware. "Thank you so much! I will message you the full plan!"

Shouta watched her run down the hallway, her heeled shoes clicked against the floor. Shouta had to admit that Yaoyorozu had potential. Shouta looked forward to seeing her manage her agency. With a smile, he decided to make his way to the teachers' lounge. Hopefully, his journey would be without any interruptions.

Not even three steps later he felt rhythmic taps in his shoulders. Was his day going to go any slower? Shouta sighed deeply. "What do you want, Kayama?"

Nemuri gasped playfully. "I was demoted to last name status? Again? What's up with you?"

"I decided that I don't want friends today," Shouta replied.

"Aww, you poor thing. We've been friends since we were babies," she said with a laugh, conveniently ignoring the fact that they have been friends since they met at U.A. Her red glasses were low on her nose. She purposely pressed them up with her middle finger, as if she was looking for a laugh from Shouta. She wasn't going to get one.

"Whose day is it?" he asked. Please don't be his day, please don't be his day—

"Yours," she replied. Seeing his sign, she patted his shoulder out of pity.

Shouta turned to her. "McDonalds?"

She appeared to consider it, but her face soon morphed into the expression of person watching someone vomit. "Only if you want to take over my Monday lunch shifts."

"Never mind."

"I thought we agreed on 'no,'" Shouta stated.

Nemuri dipped her fries in the ketchup. She always used too much, and it made Aizawa gag. At least he was sitting in the corner with direct access to the trash bin. "Yeah, but this is Wendy's. Anyway, if this gets me sick, you're taking my shift," she said as she shoved a fry in her mouth. There was absolutely no chance she could even taste fry over the ketchup.

The Wendy's was just walking distance from U.A., and nearly every member of the staff made far too many trips to get secret Frostys after a long day. Shouta has done it more often than he would like to admit.

Nemuri had changed out of her hero costume, and she was wearing a form fitting navy blue suit. With her hair pulled into a bun, she was difficult to recognize by civilians. No one batted an eye when she order three Baconators for herself. Shouta would be making fun of her if he didn't end up ordering the same thing.

Through a mouthful of ketchup she asked, "Isn't this where Hizashi asked you out?"

"Don't remind me of my mistake."

Nemuri snorted. "Y'know, I used to think he was kinda hot. Now he reminds me of my uncle," she said before adding, "I don't mean it in a good way."

Shouta huffed a laugh.

"I was watching a movie one night, and this guy kinda had a mustache, but not really, and I had the worst flashbacks to when Hizashi realized he was actually capable of facial hair and he decided he wanted a beard," she said. He watched her eyebrows move in every direction as she told the story.

He opened his mouth to comment, but his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and read the message.

"What is it?" Nemuri asked. She tried to peer over the the table to read his phone.

"It's an email from Yaoyorozu. It's the plan for their road trip."

Nemuri looked curious. She tilted her head like a confused puppy. "Road trip? What road trip?"

"A few of my students decided that a road trip will boost their morale before graduation," Shouta answered. He picked up his burger and took a bite. It was already getting cold.

"When did it get proofed by the school board?"

"It wasn't," he said. He took another bite of his burger and wiped his hands off on a napkin.

"Shouta!" Nemuri exclaimed. She slammed her hands on the table, absolutely aghast. Her small cup with the ketchup fell to the side, and the ice of her drink shook. "You're an idiot!"

"They're old enough to handle themselves," Shouta insisted.

"Sh—What?" Nemuri spluttered. "They've gone through so much. We've put such a big target on their backs since their first year. Major villains have singled them out for years. It's not safe for a group of them to just 'la da da' at the beach when we have no idea what these villains are planning."

The man who took their orders eyed them suspiciously. He untied off his apron and left the counter. He was walking toward them. His strides were long, and his posture was proper. His face was plain and forgettable, and his brown hair was unkempt. His shirt had long sleeves.

Shouta gently stepped on Nemuri's foot, suspicious in his own right. She sent him a glare before processing.

"Hi," the employee began. He bowed deeply. "Are you Eraserhead and Miss Midnight? I recognize you both from the Sports Festivals. I've watched it every year. I'll never forget the one from a couple years ago when Class A were in their first year. The winner, Bakugou, was so incredible. We liked his spirit."

Shouta raised his eyebrow. Something felt very wrong. "You've got us wrong. We work in a...shoe store."

The employee's eye twitched. "Oh, it's a simple mistake," he said.

Atsuhiro walked away from the heroes. He went behind he counter and made his way through the other workers cooking. He waved goodbye before sneaking out of the back door. In the parking lot, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and just as he dialed, it began to ring. It was perfect timing. He held it up to his ear. "Hey, babe," he said with a smirk.

The man on the line let out a sigh. "Don't bring it up. It's not funny anymore, Magic Man."

Atsuhiro laughed. In a serious tone he said, "Hello to you too, Dabi. Class A will be going on a road trip. I don't have all the details, but it sounds like the students are organizing it. It's not proofed by the staff."

"Oh, nice. Call me when you get more intel. Where the hell are you?"

"I'm at the Wendy's by U.A," Atsuhiro answered. He began to pace around in the parking lot.

"Damn, you sure are being risky."

"Do you want me to buy you chicken nuggets, or is that not a fond memory?" Atsuhiro said, his tone playful.

Dabi hung up.

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And yes, I was starving when I wrote this

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