Two hours in. Nothing's coming into my mind right now. I crumpled another piece of paper and threw it somewhere on the floor, adding to the pile of wasted stationery. 25 and counting.

"Did you know that from the very start..." Too cliché -- 26.

"Let me get straight to the point..." Not worthy of a love letter -- 27.

"If I had to never eat my favorite foods to be with you, I'd do so." Eh, cheesy and lol, no. That's going too far -- 28.

I feel frustrated (disappointed, even) at the fact that I can't grasp the right words to express how much you matter to me. It's just plain stupid.

How can other people spur out these lengthy poems and heartfelt personal letters to their loved ones so easily? Meanwhile, I'm over here, not even getting to the end of the introduction.

Thousands, no, millions of words are in a dictionary. Maybe, it'll be helpful if I take one from my collection of books to see if it'll help. But, I know it won't so I didn't.

What's the use of it if I can't even clearly explain what my heart wants to say. I'm so confused.

This is bothersome. I gave up for now, put down my pencil, and looked up at the ceiling. I traced out some lines from the mural above me, inevitably forming that one letter that reminds me of you: V.

Your initial. V for Vernon.

I looked on the floor and saw the mess I made. I didn't want to clean it up but I knew my mom would discover these. For sure, hell would break loose once she sees what these were about.

"I love you, Vernon," I mutter for no reason as I pick up the crumpled papers of assorted colours. It just came out of my mouth like that was already a norm of mine. But, it made me wonder.

Why is it so easy to say that to myself? Why is it so challenging to even get up close to you? I want to brace myself, go up to you and shout to the world what I feel.

I knew more questions would just pop up as I get back on my bed. Lying down somehow just makes me rethink my life. I kept repositioning myself, tossing back and forth when I got mentally slapped.

Why is it that I still listen to that inner voice telling me not to come closer? Why is it that I'm so terrified of you rejecting me? Why is it that the mere thought of you just makes me love you more? Why is it that three little words could change my life and my relationship with you?

...

This is bothersome.

Love is bothersome.

But, loving you is bliss so I don't mind if it is bothersome.

I sighed. My lips automatically curve upwards, showing off a faint smile.

Time to get some shut-eye.