A/N imma be straight up. I have no idea what this is but It's been in the works for the longest so I just made a quick ending and posted it. I have a request coming soon and other projects so stay tuned for those. Sorry this one isn't the best. 

Tord Pov

This is a mistake. They won't take you back. They don't want you. YOU IDIOT. GO BACK HOME. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU. WHY WOULD THEY? 

The thoughts don't stop. They never do. I promised to keep my distance, but since when did I start to keep promises? I laugh bitterly. This isn't going to end well.

I knock on Edd's door.

Turn back while you still can. This is going to backfire. Why are you still standing there? RUN! RUN AS FAST AND FAR AS YOU CAN! TORD, PLEASE!

"Tord? What, Why are you here."

I choked on my words. I wanted to run, but I wanted to stay. I wanted to never come back here again and just go home, but I still wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to hug him then and there and apologize profusely and move back in, but I still wanted to keep my distance.

"What are you doing here?"

That's Tom. TORD, YOU HAVE TO RUN! HE'LL SHOOT YOU WITH A HARPOON IF YOU DON'T TAKE OFF NOW! TORD YOU HAVE TOO. Oh my god he looks so angry. It's all because of you.

I continued to stutter with my words, now finding it hard to breath. Tears sprung into my only working eye and my nose burned. I was playing with the sleeve that hid away my robot arm. 

"Look, I don't want you near me or my boyfriend." Tom spoke with a steely gaze, wrapping an arm around Edd.

Boyfriend?

The world started spinning. The air was so thin. My body hurt. I heard Tom yelling, and Edd trying to calm him down, but it just sounded like empty static. A high pitched ringing was heard and then the world went black.

Tom's POV

I watched the Commie's eyes roll back into his head, and barely had enough time to catch him. I wasn't sure why he was here, but it was upsetting my Eddie. He had to go. "Tommy, just let him stay with Matt. He obviously needs help if he came back here. You know how headstrong he is. I want to know why he's here."

I nodded and knocked on Matt's door.

We hadn't seen much of him since me and Edd got together. I wonder why.

"Coming!" A voice sounded from behind the door. The door opened to reveal what was supposed to be Matt. He looked horrible. His hair was greasy and hardly fixed, he was obviously sleep deprived, He was wearing a normal grey shirt and pajama pants, from what I could see, his room had gone under some reconstruction. All the pictures and mirrors were ripped and broken, math paper covered the floor and walls, everything was disorganized and messy, Empty pizza boxes and soda cans covered the floor. It looked like his room did in High school. Before he was a total narcissist.

"Oh, what do you want Tom." He sounded exasperated. His eyes were dull behind the glasses he threw out so long ago in favor of contacts. Then he noticed Tord in my arms. His eyes widened and he immediately snatched him from my arms. 

With that he slammed his door in my face, but not before glaring at me. 

Strange.

Matt's Pov  

My god.

I thought I'd never see Tord's face again, and yet here he was. Out cold on my couch. 

I tried to clean up some before he woke up, but what was the point. I barely saw the point in anything anymore. Not since- Not since Edd and Tom... 

"Wha-" Tord was waking up.

"Oh, You're awake. You're staying with me for the moment if you were wondering."

"M-Matt? Is that you?"

I forgot I had changed since the last time he's seen me. I reverted back to my old self. Nerdy, not obsessed with looks. In fact, I can't bare to look at myself anymore. All I can see is what Edd didn't want. A failure.

"What? I-I should go.."

"No! I mean, please don't go. It's horrible to be alone."

"Why don't you hang out with Edd and Tom?"

I stiffened and brought my hand to my mouth. It hurts to think about them. Because I know with all my heart, I'm in love with Edd.

And he isn't in love with me.

"O-oh. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. If it makes you feel better, it hurts me too."

I looked at him. "D-do you love Edd?" I asked, hurt evident on my face. "What? Of course not! Edd is like a brother to me." I sighed in relief. At least I don't have another competitor for his love. "Then why are you hurt?" I questioned. "That's the thing, I'm pretty sure I have a thing for Tom. I don't like it."

I nodded, knowing the feeling. Poor Tord.

"Look, I'll tell you what. You can come live with me. That would probably be best for both of us." That was true. He absolutely looked horrible, and the fact that he had just passed out didn't help my suspicions. 

"Y-Yeah. That would be good." He offered me a weak smile, but I noticed how thin he was and how empty his eye was. He looked like a shell. The shell of a man we were all close too. But I bet I didn't look much better. 

I was destroying myself from the inside out, and I couldn't stop it.

~><~

Tord POV

It has been a month.

Me and Matt have grown closer than ever before. I guess we're friends bonded by trauma. How bitter and sad that sounds mostly because I'm not angry. No, I'm far from it in fact. I'm honestly happy for him.

He's got a stable job, a loving boyfriend who really does love him, a dog, He's basically got his life figured out.

I just wish that I was the loving boyfriend, but if I'm not what Tom wants then that's that. I won't get mad, I won't cry when I see them together, I will not voice my opinion.

I'll be fine.

Oh, yes tom! He'll love it!

Edd don't worry, you know how he is when he's stressed. This isn't the end for you two.

Thomas and Edward, never thought I'd see the day when you finally got together.

Hah! Don't worry Edd, he won't force you.

Ugh it all made me feel sick.

"I love you Tom." I spoke to myself in the darkness of my room at Matt's place. We had stuck together even after I was on my feet again. Neither of us wanted to be alone even if we were both drowning. We seemed to have decided that drowning together made it a little bit better.

~><~

As of now, the gang except for Edd were shopping at the mall. Edd's birthday was tomorrow and Thomas was doing last minute shopping to make "everything as perfect as possible" as Tom put it. 

I had come along, but the whole while, a deep ache resided in my soul. I would've said no completely if Matt hadn't dragged me along. The only reason Matt was here at all was because he needed new clothes and a stronger prescription of glasses. 

Soon after they had gone into the mall, Matt had ditched me in his excitement of finally being able to see clearly. 

I was alone with Tom.

The ache got worse. 

"Do you really think he'll like this" Tom asked me hesitantly. He was holding a shirt that had a picture of a cartoon cat sitting in a Cola Can. "Of course he'll love it Tom! Especially since it's from you!" I forced a smile. This was so hard.  

I was lying through my teeth, trying to make it sound decent. I was covering up tears by blinking profusely every time Thomas turned away. I was trying to make him happy by making myself miserable. That's what love is I guess. Making sure they're happy even if you aren't.

He could stand to see my cry, but I couldn't stand to even know that he was sad, and I fucking hate it. "Oh, Tord, what about this?" Tom smiled brightly picking out another shirt, but this time I couldn't take it. 

I ran out of the mall and quickly called Pau. "Pau! Take me back! I'll meet you at the airport! Please, I don't want to be here anymore. I can't HANDLE IT!" I shouted. 

my breathing was ragged. I barely heard Pau call for Pat and then hang up over my obnoxious crying. I'm so weak. weak, Weak, WEAK! That's all I ever am. The airport wasn't far from here, I could get there by walking before their flight lands and then I could be back home and put these feelings aside.

Put on my leader's uniform once again, wearing my beautiful hat, killing and torturing traitors and enemies while sipping some of Pau's hot chocolate. I took a deep breath and got off the ground. It all sounded so wonderful, I briskly wondered why I was still sad.

I felt a hand on my shoulder before I could start walking. Out of practice and training I immediately judo flipped the person behind me. "Oh, hi Tom." My voice was shaky and quiet.

"First off, what the fuck. Second off, why did you suddenly just run off crying. Third off, WHo the fuck were you on a call with?" Tom growled on his back. 

I blinked and gulped. "Please, take me to the airport." I pleaded. "Why?" He stubbornly asked. I sighed, "look I'll tell you everything you need to know on the way there, just please. I can't take this anymore." 

He let out a gruff sigh before heading to the car. "listen here, you're staying for Edd's party no matter if you want to or not. It means a lot to him that you're here and I want to see him happy on his birthday. Whoever is coming to pick you up can stay too for all I care, but you are staying here and saying goodbye." He never made eye contact with me. 

"Ah, okay Tom. I'll do that." He looked at me weird. "why have you been calling me that?" he seemed confused.

"Huh?"

"Tom. Why are you calling me Tom?"

"isn't that your name?" Now I was confused. 

"No, It's just- for as long as I've known you, you have never called me Tom unless it was serious or you weren't in the mood for jokes. It was always Thomas or Jehovah. What gives Tord?" 

I couldn't tell him that those nicknames were special to me and that using them just felt wrong. I shrugged. It was all I could do. He shook his head and gritted his teeth like he was trying to make a huge decision. 

I turned towards him. I'll be gone tomorrow anyway so might as well tell him the truth. "Look Tom I- HMPH!"

I was cut off by his lips on mine. I kissed back as soon as I felt the sensation. It was heated in passionate. I poured everything I had into the kiss. My angers and frustrations, my sadness and self doubt, my mental health problems, but most importantly, my love.

The next thing I knew I was seated in his lap, tongue in my mouth and hands roaming underneath my shirt. I tugged at his hair and memorized the feeling of every crevice and every muscle under the skin. This was heaven.

Too bad I'm doomed to hell.

He shoved me off into the passenger seat and reached for his phone that was buzzing on the console. I was so mad. Everything was right and then his fucking phone had to ri-

"oh forget the phone."

He silenced it and turned to me. "Look We stay for Edd's party. The next day I say that I need space and I need to find myself and then we run off to where ever the fuck you're going." 

My eyes were wide. I wanted to take up his offer so bad. "But what about Edd-"

"Oh who cares anyway. I love Edd but in a platonic way. I know he and Matt have been fucking on the side these past few weeks. He's been happier and so has Matt. It's better this way." And he was right. On so many levels he was right.

"okay, deal." I smiled and the next thing I knew he had me pinned against the car door, full on making out like this happened all the time. I was breathless. 

I loved it.