A loud owl hoot woke me with a start. I'd fallen asleep at the desk, my face resting on my now numb arm. I slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes and clicking my phone on to check the time. It was three-fifteen in the morning. I yawned and looked over the last bit I'd been writing, and, deciding I hated it, crumpled up the bit of paper and chucked it into the bin. Now I was awake, I was pretty sure I wasn't getting back to sleep. Plus, I needed to pee.

When I came back out of the bathroom, my foot stepped on a floorboard that creaked loudly. I froze, my eyes darting to Alice's parents' room. Luckily, I didn't hear them stirring. I looked the other way to Joseph's door, where I saw that the light was on. I deliberated to myself. I could go back to bed, where I likely wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, or I could go and see what Joseph was doing up at this time.

Before I even consciously made the decision, my feet started to take me down the corridor to Joseph's room. I didn't know why, or if he'd even want to see me, but here I was.

The door was ajar, but I knocked quietly anyway. There was some shuffling and the sound of paper being gathered together before Joseph opened the door slightly. "Oh. It's you." He opened the door properly and went to sit back down at his desk where multiple pieces of paper were in a messy pile.

"Don't sound so enthusiastic," I said, stepping in his room and shutting the door so as not to wake up Alice or her parents. "What are you doing up?"

"Could ask you the same thing," he muttered, neatly tidying up the paper and pencils on his desk.

"Thought you'd be able to guess, being all-knowing with this kind of thing," I said cynically.

Joseph merely paused. "I couldn't sleep. So I decided to do some drawing."

I raised my eyebrows slightly, surprised at his lack of contemptuous retort – instead he gave me an honest answer. I could do the same. "Well, I woke up and knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. And I saw your light was on. So here I am."

Joseph let out a small huff of amusement. "Here you are."

I stepped forwards slightly, peering at his desk. "Were you drawing?"

He twirled a pencil between his fingers. "Maybe."

I took another step forward, trying to peek over his shoulder. "Can I see?"

"No," Joseph said flatly. "Not these, anyway." He picked up the pile of sheets and crammed them into a folder, shoving the folder into a drawer.

I frowned. "You said I could."

"I said maybe," he corrected, pushing his chair back so that he could get up. He went to lie down on his bed, rubbing his face with his hands in what seemed like frustration. I frowned slightly and sat on the edge of the bed.

"What's up with you?" I asked cautiously, sensing some annoyance, which I was pretty sure wasn't directed at me for once.

Joseph took his hands away from his face and dropped them onto the bed beside him. "I got fired," he said finally, and my mouth dropped open slightly.

"You got fired?" I repeated, probably not very tactfully. "From your job as an art assistant?"

"Mm."

"What did you do?" I asked, slightly worried.

Joseph gave me a look. "I didn't 'do' anything. They fired me because..." He cleared his throat. "You know how I work at a school? Well, one girl, who was like, 15, she... she tried to kiss me."

I very nearly laughed. Nearly. "She tried to kiss you."

"Yes. You don't believe me?"

I held my hands up innocently. "I believe you. It's just... it's funny."

Joseph sat up. "It's not funny. I got fired."

"It is kinda funny. The poor girl. She had a crush and got rejected. We've all been there." I paused and narrowed my eyes at Joseph. "She got rejected, right? Or is this going to be more scandalous than I thought?"

Joseph rolled his eyes and threw a cushion at me. I batted it away to the floor. "Shut up. Yes, I rejected her, and because of that, she went and told the art teacher that I tried to kiss her."

"Well, shit," I commented. "What are you going to do?"

Joseph sighed. "I don't know. Guess I'll have to find another job. But employers aren't going to like the reason I was fired."

"What if you talked to the teacher?" I reasoned. "Tell her your side of the story. Wouldn't she be more likely to believe you than a student?"

"No. She wouldn't." He groaned. "Some teenage girls are so sensitive."

I shrugged. "Well, you know, maybe she thought you guys were like, soulmates, and you were gonna be together forever."

Joseph huffed. "Yeah, sure. I don't know what she was expecting."

"Well, for now, maybe I could get you a job at Melissa's, or something. The manager there is really chill." I looked away, down at my hands. "Or, you know, your girlfriend Mabel could get you one."

"Millie," Joseph corrected. When he didn't say anything else, I looked up again to find him staring at me, leaning forward slightly, his face rather close to mine. I didn't say anything either, but just met his gaze evenly, waiting for him to speak. Finally, he said, "She really bothers you, doesn't she?"

"No," I replied automatically, but I must have been blushing, because Joseph started to smirk.

"Why don't you like her?" he asked before adding, "Plus, you know she's not my girlfriend."

"I don't not like her," I muttered, feeling myself go even redder. Why did I do this to myself?

Joseph just watched me, the smirk growing. Finally he said, slyly, "You know, Lily," he looked me up and down, "If I didn't know any better, I would have said that you were jealous."

I hid my surprise and pressed my lips together before stating firmly, "Well, it's a good thing you know better, then."

"Guess so," he said softly.

Neither of us moved from our positions. Feeling that we were too close, I changed the subject and said, leaning away, "So, while I was at Melissa's today, I actually heard some interesting things."

Joseph still hadn't moved, but he raised an eyebrow. "Interesting things?"

"Mm." I nodded. "About you. My co-worker wanted me to get the dirt."

"On what, exactly?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You being at this boarding school, some shit going down...care to elaborate?"

Joseph had stiffened. "No. We are not taking that trip down memory lane."

"Oh, come on." I lightly hit his knee. "What was so bad that happened?"

"Lily..." he sighed, leaning back and rubbing his face. "I am really trying my best not to snap right now, because I don't want to get angry with you, but this is not something we are going to talk about."

"Okay, okay," I quickly said, knowing when I was overstepping my boundaries. "I get it. Too far." I glanced over at his desk. "Can I see any of your drawings, though?"

Joseph groaned. "You're insufferable. Fine. Bring me the folder."

I gave him a smug look and went to the desk, retrieving the folder from the drawer. I gave it to Joseph and sat cross-legged on the bed opposite him. "What do you draw?"

He shrugged as he flicked through the file. "A variety of things. Landscapes, animals, people." He carefully removed a picture from its pocket and handed it to me. I took it, carefully, and let my eyes wander over the precise brushstrokes. I suddenly recognised the place in the painting. It was the lighthouse at the end of the beach, standing majestically on green cliffs. My eyes started to fill with tears.

"Lily?" Joseph said in alarm. "Are you – are you crying because of the painting?"

"No, I mean, kind of," I said, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "It's – it's amazing." It was. It was painted at sunset, the colours intertwining together, bleeding and weaving themselves amongst each other. "It's just... uh, this is where my parents got married."

Joseph closed his eyes for a second. "Shit, sorry. I didn't know."

"No, god, I'm sorry. You couldn't have known." I ran my fingers over the surface of the painting. "I keep crying on you, sorry."

"Look, it's okay, Lily. You're allowed to cry," he told me. "And stop apologising."

I nodded and took couple more deep breaths, calming myself. Seeing the lighthouse had been like a blow in the stomach, and for a second I'd thought I was going to have another meltdown. But I didn't. That was surely a step forwards. "It's beautiful, really." I gave it back to him. "Can I see another one?"

Joseph rolled his eyes but began to show me more. And for a good hour, he revealed more and more of his paintings, and as he did, I felt like he was revealing more of himself. I had no idea what half of the terminology he was using meant, but it was fascinating watching him talking. His eyes lit up like I'd never seen them light up before, and he seemed so passionate.

After that, we lay next to each other, and we were just talking. I'd never seen Joseph share so much about himself. I asked him personal questions, and he answered.

"So, where do you want to go, Joseph?" I asked. "Like, on your travels and stuff."

Joseph exhaled slowly. "I've actually got it planned out. Heading to the east. Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Bali, Australia, Fiji...nice and faraway."

I gave him a look. "Let me guess, far away from your family?" When he didn't say anything, I sighed. "I would ask why you hate your family so much, but I'm pretty sure that question is in the 'do not disturb' pile." I thought for a second. "Let me ask you this. Yes or no answer. Have you... have you ever been in love?" I didn't even know why I was asking him that, or where that question came from. But I was curious.

Joseph didn't reply for a moment but eventually, he said, "Yes."

"Ever had your heart broken?" I carried on cautiously.

"Yes."

I nodded, feeling I should stop there. I was surprised that he even answered those questions.

"What about you?" Joseph surprised me by asking me. His head was turned towards me, and he was watching me intently. I thought for a moment.

"I've never been in love," I concluded. "I've dated a couple of guys, but I never loved them. But I have had my heart broken, I guess. By my..." I swallowed, composing myself. "Um, by my... parents. Different kind of heartbreak."

We stayed up late into the night – or morning, rather – and I didn't realise until Joseph had been quiet for a long time that he'd fallen asleep. I looked over at him, just observing him. It sounded cliché but he did look kind of peaceful. No one looks their best sleeping, and Joseph wasn't excluded. But he looked like he just had no troubles or worries in his life. I slowly sat up, running a hand through my hair. Gradually, I stood and tiptoed towards the door, but just before I left, I glanced back at Joseph one last time. I turned away and quietly shut the door behind me, before making my way back to my room.

When I was in my own bed, I thought to myself why I suddenly felt so... conflicted. Confused. I'd always thought that Joseph wasn't particularly keen on me, nor I on him, but he showed me his paintings. And we'd just been lying on his bed, sharing dreams and secrets. And it had felt nice. Maybe talking to people wasn't such a bad thing.

I glanced at the time on my phone. It was just before five in the morning, and the sky was starting to get lighter. I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, not now. But I knew I wanted to see someone today. I wanted to see Ellie. Just to get me out of the house and seeing people. But until she was awake, I would have to entertain myself.

For the next few hours, I attempted sleep, song-writing and even drawing – terrible idea, I was awful – but nothing really kept my mind occupied. When it reached seven-thirty I gave up staying in my room and put on some exercise clothes. I needed to get out and go for a run.

Everyone was still asleep – it was completely quiet downstairs as I filled up a water bottle. It was sunny and warm outside, and as soon as I began to run, I started to feel very hot. I took a break when I reached the harbour. Despite the fact that it was only eight in the morning, people were already milling about. Everyone knew it was going to be a beautiful day – the beach would be sure to be overflowing with people later.

While I was standing, admiring the boats and the ocean, I got out my phone and texted Ellie hopefully, 'you up?' Within a few minutes, she replied, 'annoyingly, yes'. I asked her if she wanted to come meet me in the harbour and grab a coffee, and she replied very quickly with, 'be there in five! Can't wait x'.