Violetta.

Her name rang in my ears as I just stared at her. The smile stayed on her face even though I probably looked like a crazy person, gawking at her with my mouth practically open and my eyes almost bugging out of my head. Well, that was probably a bit of an exaggeration, but it was close enough.

Violetta was gorgeous, of course. Her blonde hair shone in gentle, shiny waves over her shoulders, her brown eyes practically glowing under long lashes, her toned stomach showing under a cropped long-sleeve top. She radiated confidence and optimism, and I suddenly felt very inferior in her presence.

When I hadn't said anything for an embarrassingly long time, Violetta raised her eyebrows at me. "So, do you know where Millie is?"

I snapped out of my trance. "Oh, um, yeah, she's in the back. I'll go grab her for you." I began to turn away, but Violetta stopped me.

"Wait." I turned back to see her looking at me, frowning slightly in confusion. "Are you... are you Liliana?"

Fantastic. She knew who I was. "Yeah, I am." I forced a small smile, trying to match her positivity. "How did you know?"

"Millie told me." She gave me a wry smile. "Not Joseph, if that's what you're thinking. I haven't seen him since I've been back."

I tried not to be relieved. Or at least, I tried not to let my relief show. "Oh."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just come out with that." The genuine smile was back on her face, eyes bright. "It's just that Millie filled me in on everything, so I'm just trying to, you know, connect all the dots."

Her tone of voice was so upbeat and friendly. It was really confusing me because on one hand, this was Violetta, and on the other hand, her aura just made me want to be friends with her. "Yeah, of course."

She looked at me for a moment and then said, "actually, do you have time to sit down for a quick coffee with me? It won't be awkward, I swear."

I glanced around the coffee shop. It was quiet in here today, and there were quite a few people working, so I nodded and made us a couple of coffees while she grabbed a table.

I took the coffees over and slid into the sit, my movements stiff. Once I was sat opposite her, I took a sip of my coffee, not making eye contact with Violetta.

"So," she started brightly. "I know this is weird, but I wanted to meet you."

I looked at her doubtfully. "You did?" Probably to size me up. Although she seemed so nice it was doubtful that she had any bad intentions.

"I did. I mean, Millie is rarely nice about people, and she said you were tolerable. Coming from her, that's basically saying she's in love with you. So, I gotta admit, I was curious."

I gave a huff of amusement. "You sure Millie said that? You're not making that up?"

"I'm sure." Violetta beamed at me. I almost had to squint at her. And then her smile faded slightly for the first time since she walked in here. "So, you and Joseph, huh?"

My chest twinged, and I looked down at my hands. "Uh, yeah. Well. Not anymore."

"Right. Alice found out about you guys." I looked back up at Violetta to see genuine sympathy on her face. "I've been there."

I gave her a slight smile. "Has she forgiven you yet?"

"Hard to say. I haven't seen her in person since everything happened, but she did send me a message on my birthday, so there's that," she said, winking at me. "She holds a grudge. She and Joseph are similar in that way."

That was true. "Yeah. They are."

There was a moment of silence, and then Violetta said, "Listen. I'm not here to get Joseph back."

My gaze flickered up to her. "No?"

"No." Her tone was firm. She looked away for a second. "I won't lie to you and say that I don't feel anything for him anymore. We didn't break up out of choice. But... it also wasn't the wrong thing. I've had time to process everything, and we wanted different things. It wouldn't have worked out anyway."

She didn't know that. They'd had a serious thing. "Well, it wouldn't have worked out between us either."

"Life throws curveballs at you. Things change. People change." She shrugged. "Who knows what could have happened? And what could happen?" Violetta smiled that radiant smile of hers. "Keep your chin up. It won't hurt forever."

I met her gaze and saw pain there. It was concealed behind her smile, but it was there. She'd lost Joseph, and she'd lost her baby. Whatever she was planning on doing with it, she'd had that choice taken away from her. "Yeah."

"Vi, hey." Millie's voice suddenly came from behind me and I turned to see her standing there, her eyes flickering between us. "What are you doing here?"

"Mum and dad want to go out for dinner tonight, and you weren't answering your phone." Violetta stood, flicking her long hair behind her. "You know they get pissed when you do that."

Millie smiled a devilish smile. "I know."

"You should probably stop trying to annoy them on purpose, Camilla."

My eyes snapped to Millie. "Camilla?"

Millie grimaced at me. "It's my full name. Vi uses it to piss me off because I hate it."

"Huh. It's a nice name," I commented.

"It's a granny's name." She rolled her eyes, and then looked between me and Violetta again. "So you guys have been... acquainted?"

"Something like that," Violetta said, smiling at me. I gave her a small smile back.

"Yeah. I gotta get back to work, though." I stood up, brushing myself down. "It... it was nice meeting you, Violetta."

"You, too." She gave me a nod.

As I worked for the rest of the day, I was just thinking about how annoying it was that Violetta was so nice. I'd really wanted her to be a bitch so I could hate her. But I wanted to be friends with her. I could see why she and Alice had got on so well. They were similar in their optimism and friendliness, but I could also see where they would balance each other out – Alice often had her head in the clouds, while Violetta seemed more down-to-earth. I wondered what she'd thought of me.

When I got back, I heard Pierre and Hannah chatting in our living area. "I'm home," I called out as I shrugged off my coat and hung it up, kicking off my shoes. Their voices quieted, and I frowned. "Everything okay?" I walked through the hallway towards the living area and froze in the doorway. Pierre and Hannah were sat on the sofa with Alice in between them. She looked up and our eyes met.

"Hey, Lil," Pierre said softly. "How was work?"

I ignored his question, staring at Alice. She didn't smile, but she didn't look like she hated me, either. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you." Her voice was calm, even. Nothing like mine.

I said nothing, my eyes flickering to Pierre and Hannah.

"Why don't we leave them alone for a bit?" Hannah suggested, and Pierre nodded. They both got up and walked towards the stairs, Pierre putting his hand briefly on my shoulder as he passed me. Once their footsteps had disappeared upstairs, Alice stood up and crossed her arms. "How – how are you doing?"

I frowned and Alice rolled her eyes, saying, "I'm mad at you, Ana, but I'm not heartless. I..." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I know this has probably been a hard time for you."

My frown only deepened. This was not what I was expecting. "Alice, you don't have to be nice to me just because you feel bad for me."

"I know," she said sharply. "Who said I'm being nice to you? Maybe I came here to yell at you."

"Did you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

Alice seemed to think for a moment, and then she said defiantly, "Yeah. I did." She took a deep breath. "I cannot believe you dated my brother behind my back. Of all people, Ana! Do you know how it makes me feel now that two of my closest friends have fallen for him? It makes me feel like I'm not good enough. And that really fucking sucks."

I felt a flash of guilt. Well, not just a flash. I'd been feeling guilty for a long time. "I know."

"You could have told me. I don't know how I would have reacted. I probably would have been mad, but a lot less mad than I am now," she said, her voice sharp. "You could have told me. I know I've kept secrets from you, I know. But this was worse, Ana. I know you said that Joseph was someone you could turn to, but so was I." Her voice cracked slightly. "You could have talked to me. You could have cried on my shoulder. And the fact that you didn't just... I don't know, it's like you didn't trust me."

"I do trust you," I insisted. "Of course I do. But... every time I so much as smiled, you looked so happy. I just didn't want you to realise that I wasn't doing okay. I didn't want to put that on you."

"Ana," Alice said tiredly. "You lost your parents. Of course, I knew that you weren't doing okay. Do you really think I'm that oblivious? That... unfeeling? I can't imagine how it must feel for you. The thought of losing my parents..." she swallowed and looked down. "Honestly, I don't even know how you're up and walking around."

I loosed a breath as a tear rolled down my cheek, pain filling my chest. "I don't know either." Another tear fell. "Of course I don't think you're unfeeling, Alice, I just... I knew that Joseph had been through some kind of pain, and... I don't know. I guess I thought he would understand it more."

Alice sighed and said after a moment, "I know. I get it. He has been through pain." She twisted her hands together. "Truth is... I didn't really understand it all until I spoke to Millie."

I didn't say anything. I knew this already.

"She kind of had a go at me. Turns out she's kinda protective of you."

I frowned. "I'm sorry, what?"

"My reaction exactly," Alice said with a ghost of a smile. "She told me I was being insensitive, and that your parents died so you could confide in whoever the fuck you wanted."

I nearly smiled. I had to hand it to Millie – she had my back.

"She also... told me the whole story about Joseph and Vi. Like, I knew what happened, but I guess I never really heard it from Joseph's perspective. I didn't... I didn't know that he was on the phone to mum and dad when they crashed." She visibly swallowed. "I knew that Vi's parents and my parents didn't let them even say goodbye to each other. I was so angry that I just didn't care. I didn't even say goodbye to Vi. I didn't... I didn't even contact her to ask if she was okay. She lost a baby, and I didn't ask if she was okay." Alice's voice trembled. "I was selfish. I was selfish then, and... and I've been selfish now." Her eyes met mine, a tear falling. "I– I've missed you, Ana." She sniffed. "It's – nothing's the same. "Over the weeks, you know, things have been happening, and my first thought was always... 'I can't wait to tell Ana'." Alice smiled sadly. "But I couldn't."

I moved towards her and took her hands, squeezing them in mine. "I wanted... I wanted to tell you about Joseph. If... if it had been any other boy, I think you would have been really happy for me. If it had been anyone else, I would have told you how good he was for me. How caring he was. How..." I paused. "How deeply I'd fallen in love with him."

Alice's grip tightened, and then she dropped my hands. Her expression was unreadable as her eyes dropped to the ground in thought before meeting mine again. "You really love him?"

I nodded, hugging my elbows.

She let out a long breath. "You should probably go and tell him that, then."

My eyebrows flew up. "What?"

"I'm serious." Alice sighed again. "Joseph... he hasn't been home. We haven't seen him since... since that day." She looked away. "The things I said to him, and to you... I don't think he'll ever forgive me. But I want to try. I want my brother back. And I want my best friend back. And I don't want you to both be miserable." Alice's gaze flitted back to mine. "Can... can you forgive me for the things I said?"

"I can," I said softly. "Can you forgive me for Joseph?"

Her face tightened. "I'm trying. I'm trying really hard." She paused. "And if you guys still do want to be together, I can deal with that. I just want you both back."

The smallest of smiles crept onto my face, and the corner of Alice's mouth tilted up too. Before she could stop me, I pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tight. After a second, she hugged me back. She said into my shoulder, voice muffled, "if you two do sort your shit out, I don't want to see any kind of kissing or anything. I'm already scarred."

I hugged her tighter before pulling away. "Noted."

Alice quickly wiped at her eyes. "Okay. Now you really should go find him. Like, now. We're all worried about him, and... he'll want to see you."

I slowly nodded, but my heart began to race. Seeing Joseph again... what if he didn't even want to be with me anymore? After what I'd put him through?

"So are you going?" Alice said when I didn't move.

"I'm going." I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself and giving Alice one last hug, I left the house.

I didn't even know where to start. Joseph wouldn't be at Melissa's. Maybe he was at one of his friends, but I didn't even know who they were or where they lived.

He told me he'd been working a lot at the Red Sailor. My feet started taking me there immediately, striding quickly through the streets of Newacre. I'd been there a few times, so I knew the way. I refused to think about what I would say or do when I saw Joseph, but... I had to tell him I loved him in person. And I just hoped to god he would say it back.

I reached the Red Sailor, only a couple of people lingering outside smoking cigarettes in the early evening air. The door was right there. I stopped outside, heart pounding. God, I probably didn't even look nice. I'd been working at Melissa's all day, and I'd barely put any makeup on in the morning.

I mentally hit myself. Joseph had seen me plenty of times without makeup, but now just seemed more important. I was still standing at the door. I took one last breath and pushed the door open, stepping inside.

I scanned the room for Joseph. There weren't many customers, just a few sitting at the bar. No sign of Joseph working behind it. I made my way up to the bar where a man in his early thirties was pulling a pint of beer.

"Excuse me, do you know if Joseph is here?" I asked, nervously pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

He nodded behind me. "He's just there."

My breathing hitched and I slowly turned, waiting to see his familiar face.

Only he was sitting down. In a booth. With Violetta.

I stopped breathing. They hadn't seen me. They looked... intimate. Talking quietly, heads close together. And then... Joseph reached for Violetta's hand across the table. And she took it.

Such an indescribable pain filled my chest as I watched them, their affectionate gazes, their easy smiles. As Joseph looked at Violetta the way he used to look at me. And I knew that this right here was heartbreak. It wasn't just emotional or mental pain, it was physical, too. Seeing the person you loved go back to their first love. Because really, isn't your first love everything? And me, I was just a rebound. I would never mean anything compared to what Violetta meant to Joseph. What we had was nothing compared to what they had. Their love story was epic, and ours was just a filler. Just a distraction until Joseph and Violetta found their way back to each other. And with that, my heart broke clean in two. 

wooow it's been over a month since I updated - sorry about that

we are very nearly at the end of this story - just a couple of chapters to go!!