The next day, Pierre and Hannah drove down accompanied by Bear. I had never been happier to see them. They came to pick me up, saying a qui ck hello to Ellie, Jennifer and Michael. I'd caught Ellie up about my brother and she was extremely excited to meet him, but I made sure their introduction was brief, wanting to get out as soon as possible. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy being at Ellie's house, but I just wanted... my own space. To be with family. That was what I needed at the moment.

Both Pierre and Hannah gave me big hugs and introduced me to Bear, who was the most excitable and gorgeous puppy I'd met. They'd been given the keys to the new flat, and all of their belongings were being driven down later today in a moving van. I would have to go back to the Moore's at some point to collect all of my things, but I just couldn't face it yet. Both Catherine and Mark had texted me and Catherine had tried to ring me. I couldn't imagine why they'd want to talk to me if they knew what had gone down. Of course, maybe they didn't. But Alice had to have told them.

I thought Sunday morning would be a good time to pick up my things. Pierre would help me, it wouldn't take too long. Alice would be at dance, Mark would be sailing, and Catherine would likely be out somewhere – she tended to go and get coffee with friends on Sunday mornings. As for Joseph... I couldn't imagine he'd be in the house at all. He would probably disappear for a bit, just like he did after the argument with his parents about Violetta.

We arrived at the new house after a short car journey from Ellie's. Our new house. This was going to be my home. I looked up, taking it in. It was a lovely stone terraced house, a mere 5-minute walk if not less from the beach, right in the centre of town. The road was pretty and quaint, very residential and quiet enough that we wouldn't be kept up late at night by the loud residents who drink a bit too much at the pub.

Pierre let us in, leading us into a bright, airy hallway which followed through to a large open plan kitchen and living room. The back wall was fitted with large windows that looked out onto a small garden which included a patio area with a couple of outdoor sofas. A trip upstairs showed the two bedrooms, each with an en-suite bathroom.

"Pierre, how much was this?" I was in awe. Both bedrooms were a good size, with large built in wardrobes.

Pierre just laughed. "Newacre isn't super expensive, Lil. Besides, I had a lot saved up. I've been saving up since I was seventeen. I take it you like it?"

I just nodded. "This would be my room?" Mine was slightly smaller than Pierre and Hannah's, but it was perfect for me.

"Yes. And check out the view."

I went to the window and sure enough, I could see all the way to the sea. It was beautiful. I smiled. Actually smiled. "It's... it's amazing." I turned to him. "Thank you so much, Pierre. And thank you, Hannah," I added as Hannah appeared in the doorway.

"Of course." Hannah beamed at me. She had to be one of the happiest, most optimistic people I'd ever met. "I'm so excited to live down here. It's going to be fantastic."

I sincerely hoped so.

The moving vans arrived later in the day with all their things, and we had a great time unpacking and decorating the house to make it homier. I put on some upbeat songs and played them loudly while we moved everything in. The before-empty living area now had two grey sofas with blue and white cushions on them, a wooden dining table surrounded by white chairs, and was adorned with plants and vases and other bits and pieces.

"We'll take a trip to IKEA, too," Pierre told me as he hung up various pictures on the walls. "So we can get desks and things. I think it'd be good to have one in your room."

It probably would be, what with my A-levels coming up.

Once everything had been unpacked, I borrowed some of Hannah's clothes to go out for lunch. We went to a small Spanish restaurant a little bit outside of town but still on the coast, where we ate delicious tapas. Pierre and Hannah then insisted on taking me shopping even though I had lots of clothes at the Moore's, and when I protested, Hannah merely said, "New house, new clothes. We don't make the rules."

I came home in a better mood than I had been before, and I was fairly happy for the rest of the day, too. This felt like a new start, a new beginning. And that was what I needed.

But then night came, and I was alone. I didn't have anyone to distract me, and my thoughts drifted towards my parents, towards Alice, towards Joseph. But I didn't cry. I just went to stand by my window and looked out to sea. It was a cloudy night, no stars or moon to be seen. The streetlights and lights from people's windows brightened the dark, illuminating roofs of houses and last stragglers coming home in the streets.

I moved away from the window and got into bed, closing my eyes. But sleep didn't come. At least, not for a long time. I'd barely slept last night, either. I wasn't used to being by myself. I was usually in Joseph's arms. I bit my lip hard as I thought of Joseph, tears filling up my shut eyes. No. I refused to cry. I had to stop crying. I just didn't know how.

Our half term passed by, and I felt like I barely remembered any of it. I moved like a zombie, my actions dull and meaningless. But they were made less so by Pierre and Hannah. I could tell they were worried about me, and to be honest, they probably were right in doing so. I just... I felt like although I'd truly come to terms with my parents' death, I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Not now. But I was aware of this. Which was why at the end of half term I turned to Pierre at dinner and said, "I think I should talk to a therapist."

Pierre didn't seem surprised. "I think that's a good idea."

"But therapists are expensive, and I want to pay for it with the money mum and dad left me," I said firmly. "And don't argue, because there is literally no way I'm changing my mind."

He held his hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine." Hannah smiled.

Going back to school was...both good and bad. Good because I needed the structure, and bad because I dreaded seeing Alice around every corner. Sam and Ryan approached me in a free period, and we talked. I told them everything that had happened. There was no point keeping secrets now, and besides, they pretty much knew everything anyway.

"Look, I know this is a really hard situation for you guys," I said, keeping my voice low. We were in a study room with other students in, and they kept glancing at us, especially me. No doubt word had somehow gotten out about me and Joseph – news travelled fast in this town. "So I don't expect you to stay friends with me behind Alice's back, or whatever–"

"Ana, don't be ridiculous," Sam said dismissively, and Ryan nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, we're not going to stop being friends with you just because of this." He leaned forward slightly. "If anything, we're here more than ever to support you."

I managed a very weak smile. "Thanks, but–"

"Seriously, don't even try to argue with us on this. There's no point. We can be friends with both of you." Sam's tone was matter-of-fact. "You're one of our best friends, Ana. And one of Alice's. She will get over this."

I sighed. "I don't know–"

The door to the study room suddenly opened and Alice walked in with Zoe, laughing. Then she spotted me, and I froze.

The room went silent. Our other classmates looked between us, enraptured. I began to stand up. "Alice–"

She said nothing but turned around and left, letting the door swing shut behind her. Zoe looked at Ryan, Sam and me, her expression torn. "I want to help, but I don't know how."

"You can't," I muttered, sitting back down. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. Too many people were listening.

Zoe still looked undecided, but eventually exited the room, presumably going after Alice.

"I think Alice was even more mad because she saw the pictures today," Ryan murmured.

I frowned at him, and Sam hit him over the head.

"Ow, really?" Ryan, complained, glaring at Sam.

"What pictures?" I questioned, heart racing.

Sam rolled his eyes at Ryan and said reluctantly, "The pictures from the wedding. The photographer uploaded them on his website."

I was still struggling to catch on. "And...?"

"See for yourself." Sam opened up his laptop and typed something in before passing it to me. Ryan had a guilty expression on his face. I looked suspiciously at both of them before casting my eyes to the screen.

The first pictures were from the drinks before the ceremony. There were some lovely photographs of Ellie talking to people I didn't know, of Alice and her family, and... of me and Joseph. My breath caught in my throat. It was the one where Joseph had his arm around my waist. The one where the photographer had told us we'd looked great together. And honestly, we did. I was smiling, properly smiling. So was Joseph. He looked gorgeous in his tux, his blue eyes intense, and me...I looked almost glowing. And then there was another picture, us in the same position, except Joseph was looking at me. He was looking at me like... like I was his everything. I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek as I skimmed through the pictures. There were lots. Pictures of all the guests, of my friends, and then I reached the pictures of when everyone was dancing. And of course, the photographer had somehow managed to get pictures of Joseph and me dancing together, staring into each other's eyes like there was nobody else in the world.

"Okay," I said, and quickly passed the laptop back to Sam. I couldn't look at the pictures anymore. "Those pictures were only just uploaded today?"

"Couple of days ago," Ryan answered.

"But the wedding was, like, a month ago."

"Yeah, I know. They're good pictures, though," Sam said, closing his laptop and putting it on his desk. They were. But they made me want to cry. "She'll come around, Ana. And as for Joseph..." he winced slightly. "Alice said that no one has seen him since the day she found out about you guys."

I let out a long breath, closing my eyes for a second. I was sure Joseph was okay, but... I still worried. "He'll be fine."

"Will you be?" Sam asked carefully. I met his eyes and saw the concern there, and when I glanced at Ryan, his expression was just as worried.

"I'll be okay. Eventually." I sat up straighter and ran a hand through my hair. "I'm actually going to talk to a therapist."

"That's great, Ana," Ryan said softly.

"Just make sure they're not a quack," Sam said, and Ryan hit his shoulder with a book. "What? I'm trying to be helpful."

"Thanks," I said with a slight smile. "I'll find one that's not a quack."

The bell rang and we packed away all our things before making our way to our classes. Sam and I both had English, Sam putting his arm around my shoulders as we walked there, cracking jokes and making entertaining – if slightly inappropriate – comments about our classmates and teachers.

The week at school was slow and dragged on. Teachers were piling on more work than ever what with our mock exams coming up, and although I'd become better at staying on top of my work, it was still a lot. The weekend rolled around, and Sunday was the day I was going to go to the Moore's to get my things. I was dreading it. I knew for sure that Alice wouldn't be there, and although it wasn't likely that Mark or Catherine would be at the house, there was still a chance.

Pierre drove me on Sunday morning, and Hannah came along too. The more of us packing up my stuff, the less amount of time it would take. We came prepared with lots of bags – I wanted to be out of there as quick as possible. Luckily, as we approached the house, there were no cars in the drive, meaning everyone was out. We went up to the door and I got the spare key from under a rock, slowly opening the door.

"Hello?" I called, just to make sure. My hands were shaking. There was no reply. I nodded to Pierre and Hannah, and they followed me inside.

We were swift and efficient with packing my things. Having three of us made it a quick process, and Pierre and Hannah didn't complain once. The last thing was my guitar as I wanted to make sure it wouldn't be stuffed at the bottom of all the bags, and possibly be broken. I slung it in its bag over my shoulder and gave the room one last look. I had some good memories of this room, and some bad ones. I'd spent a lot of time with Joseph in here, just being with each other. But I'd also cried a lot in here. It felt right to leave it behind.

As I left my room, I glanced down the corridor to Joseph's. The door was open, the lights off. I was about to go downstairs but suddenly my feet were taking me to Joseph's room, and then I was inside it.

It was tidy, the bed made and all clothes put away. But his art was still out on his desk. His parents must have seen it and knew about it now. Against my better judgement, I sifted through the paintings, not knowing what I was looking for.

And then I came across the drawing of me. It was incredible, really. Just a pencil sketch, but it looked exactly like me. And he'd made me... beautiful. It was just my face, and I was looking out of the page, smiling. Joseph had written on it, 'Lily', and a date – 20th of September. That was before the wedding. Before we'd kissed, or anything. I looked through the other drawings, and there were more of me, mostly dated after the wedding. Sketches of me lying, eyes closed, sketches of my side profile... I breathed out a shaky breath, feeling a tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away before it dripped onto any of the drawings, and I swiftly left his room.

When I reached the kitchen downstairs, I stopped in my tracks at the sight of Catherine at the door. She saw me and put a hand to her heart, stepping back slightly. "Ana, thank god. I was worried someone had robbed us."

My mouth opened, but nothing came out. I had no idea what to say. 'Sorry I tore your family apart' didn't quite seem right. 'Sorry I fell in love with your son' didn't seem right either.

"It's good to see you, Ana," she said softly. "We were worried about you."

I looked away, swallowing. "Um, well, I just... thought it would be best this way."

Catherine sighed. "You thought it would be best if you left without telling us, while you're still seventeen, and then came to get your things when no one was home?"

"I thought you wouldn't want to see me," I muttered, not meeting her eyes.

"Ana, you're still our responsibility, and we still love you." I looked at her at that. "We know what happened, and we're not saying what you and Joseph did was right. If anything, you should have told us."

"How could I?" I choked out. "Nothing should have ever happened in the first place. We both knew better. And I'm so, so sorry."

Catherine gave me a sad smile. "I know, Ana. And Alice knows it, too. But after what happened with Violetta... she just needs time."

I doubted that even with time, Alice would ever forgive me. And I wouldn't blame her. "Yeah. Can you just... tell her how sorry I am?"

Catherine nodded. "I will." She paused. "Do you know where Joseph is?"

My heart panged at his name. "No. I..." I looked down. "I haven't seen him. We ended it." Or rather, I ended it. "It's for the best."

"Maybe." Catherine was watching me. "Look, Ana. It's not to do with me, not really. But I do want to say..." She looked around like someone might hear us. "I don't know what it was between you and Joseph. But I do know that over these past few weeks, he's been... happier. So have you."

We had been happy. At least, I thought I had been happy. Or maybe I had just been distracted. Either way, I loved him. My eyes began to burn and I looked up slightly to stop tears from falling. "I'll, um, let you know if I hear from him."

She sighed quietly. "Okay." I met her eyes and saw sadness there.

"It... it was nice to see you again," I murmured.

She smiled. "And you."

I gave Catherine a nod and brushed past her, making my way out of the house. I put the guitar in the back with me, and Pierre frowned at me but said nothing as we drove off. I watched the house as we drove away, watched it until I couldn't see it anymore. Then I turned to face the front as we drove to our house. Back to our home.

bit of a longer chapter soz xx