When I got back to my room, I had a quick shower, washing off all makeup and any other traces from the night before. I dressed myself in some casual clothes and glanced at myself in the mirror, making sure my outfit was okay. As I looked at my reflection, my gaze drifted up to my face. There seemed to be a permanent smile on my face, and my eyes were bright. I may have been hungover, but I felt bloody good. I was a little sore, and tired, but I was happy. Genuinely happy. I hadn't felt like that in a while. 

I left my room and went to Ellie's, preparing myself for the bombardment of questions I was about to receive. I took a deep breath as I knocked.

Ellie answered immediately, the widest grin on her face. "Well, look who it is."

I rolled my eyes but I was holding back a smile. "Yeah, yeah. Where's Sam?"

"Already gone to breakfast." Ellie stepped out of the room, shutting the door behind her. "I didn't tell him about you and Joseph. All he knows is that everyone thinks you slept in our room last night." We began to walk to the lift. "He kept asking where you really were, but I swear I didn't tell him. But, Ana..." she grimaced slightly as we stopped by the lift and I pressed the button. "He probably guessed. Most people did from the way you two were dancing together."

I sighed, and we stepped into the lift. "I know. Not subtle."

Ellie shook her head. "Not at all." Then a cheeky smile curled on her lips. "So? I need to know everything."

"Well..." Where to even begin? "After everyone kinda went off in groups, it was just Joseph and me. He walked me back to my room, and then he went back to his, and I thought that was it." I got butterflies just recounting the story to Ellie. "But I was like, 'no way, screw it', and I went to his room." My lips tilted up in a smile. "And then he kissed me. And, well, yeah. We slept together."

Ellie gave a quiet shriek as we arrived at the bottom floor. "Oh my god, I can't believe it. You had sex with Joseph!"

"Ellie!" I said urgently, looking around me in panic. Luckily, there was no one in earshot who I knew.

Ellie shut her mouth and grinned guiltily. "Sorry. I just couldn't help myself."

I shook my head at her. "We can squeal about it all another time. But not now. Not here."

She nodded as we stepped into the hotel restaurant, scanning the room for Alice and her family. I saw them and Alice waved us over, grinning.

"You're chipper," I commented as I sat down next to her, Ellie putting herself opposite me.

"I am. And you..." Alice gave me a suspicious look. "Have been very elusive this morning."

Ellie and I exchanged a brief glance, and I said casually, "Well, you know, I'm not a morning person."

"Me neither. It is far too early for this," Ellie said, yawning and pouring herself a glass of water. "I mean, really. Who gets up at eight-thirty after a wedding? Not me."

"How did you even end up in Ellie's room last night?" Alice asked, taking a bite of a croissant. Her parents were sat at the other end of the table, chatting to each other and not listening to us.

I pressed my lips together. I wasn't sure what Ellie had told Alice, but I had to be careful with what I said next. "Uh... I don't even know, really. We were all just having a good time together and ended up in Ellie's room. Then I just crashed there."

Out of the corner of my eye, Ellie gave me a very subtle nod.

Alice wrinkled her nose. "I would not have liked to be sharing a room with Ellie and Sam. Who knows what they got up to while you were asleep."

Ellie threw a crumb of bread at Alice. "We would never do that. Probably."

I laughed slightly, but then stopped when Joseph appeared and took a seat next to Ellie.

"Morning, Joseph," Ellie said cheerfully, and surprisingly didn't throw either of us a suggestive look.

I avoided looking at Joseph. Oh, this was awkward. Poor Alice had no idea.

"Morning," came Joseph's low voice. "Sleep well?"

"Like a log," Ellie replied. I busied myself with buttering a bit of bread. I imagined that if I so much as looked at Joseph, I would probably go bright red. And that wouldn't be good. Ellie continued, "And yourself?"

I gritted my teeth slightly and glanced at Alice, but she seemed oblivious to the subtle suggestive tone in Ellie's voice.

"Yeah, I slept okay," Joseph said, and I looked at him briefly to see the smallest of smiles on his face as he met my eyes. I quickly looked away.

"Well, I'm glad you all slept well," Alice grumbled. "I was throwing up until, like, two."

Ellie snickered. "You and your low alcohol tolerance."

"Shut up."

Breakfast passed by uneventfully, and soon it was time to pack up and leave the hotel. Sam and Ryan had already left with their respective families, giving us hugs goodbye before they did so. Checking out of the hotel was almost a bit sad – being up here in this incredible building had been like a mini holiday, but we had to return home, back to school, back to reality.

The car journey back was torture. Alice made me sit in the middle, her reasoning being that she had to sit in the middle seat on the way up, so it was my turn. It was a quiet journey, unlike the one up to Helryn Manor. My leg was pressed against Joseph's, causing every nerve in my body to tighten at the contact. Alice put in earphones and slept for pretty much the whole journey, while I also listened to music and tried desperately to ignore any part of me that was touching Joseph. And he was not making it any easier – his hand brushed over my leg a couple of times, over the back of my hand, his parents oblivious. I gave him a subtle look every time he touched me, but he just raised his eyebrows innocently.

When we got back, all of us spent the rest of the day very lazily. Alice had caught me up on just exactly what had happened to her last night – she'd got too drunk, her parents found her throwing up outside, and took her back to their room. They'd also given her a bit of a telling off this morning, and Alice was now feeling quite embarrassed but had apologised profusely to her parents. Mark had confided in me on the car journey back that he was actually a lot worse in his youth, while Catherine shushed him and said that he shouldn't be encouraging us. I'd just smiled.

It was an early night for everybody. I'd changed into an oversized t-shirt and pyjama shorts, but I wasn't going to bed. I waited for an hour or so, like I usually did, before sneaking down the hall to Joseph's room.

I pushed the door open quietly without knocking, expecting to see Joseph at his desk. Only he was lying on his bed, asleep, one elbow propped behind his head. I watched him for a second, debating whether or not to go back to my room. I made up my mind and stepped forward, shutting the door carefully behind me.

I tiptoed to his bed and carefully lay next to him, curling up close to him. He didn't wake but made a noise in his sleep and turned towards me, draping an arm over me. I smiled and shifted closer.

"Lily," Joseph murmured, and I tilted my head up to look at him. But he was still asleep. Did he really just say my name in his sleep? A warm feeling grew in my chest, and I closed my eyes, letting out a slow exhale. Joseph said something else unintelligible, his arm tightening around me. My breathing became slow and steady as I relaxed in Joseph's arms. My eyes grew heavy, and I soon drifted off.

***

I woke what felt like moments later to movement in the bed. I opened my eyes to see Joseph shifting slightly, trying to pull the duvet over me.

"Hey," I whispered. Joseph glanced at me and smiled.

"Hey. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He lay back down next to me, pulling the duvet with him. I snuggled under it, against Joseph as he wrapped an arm around me.

"Hope it was okay, me coming in here," I murmured, curling my fingers on top of his chest.

"Lily, it was okay before. It's more than okay now." His lips skimmed the top of my head.

"I know. But I thought it might have been a little weird, you waking up to find me just in bed with you," I said.

Joseph gave a light laugh. "Honestly, it felt weird falling asleep without you here." His fingers traced patterns on my shoulder.

"That's cute," I mumbled.

He groaned. "Shut up."

I chuckled and lifted my head up to see Joseph looking at me. I propped myself up on one elbow and leaned down, brushing my lips teasingly against his. When I pulled away, Joseph had a lazy smile on his face.

"I love that I can do that now," I murmured, stroking the side of his face, running a thumb over his bottom lip.

"Feel free to do it whenever you want," Joseph said in a low voice.

I grinned and pressed my lips to his again, just for a second. When we broke apart, I was still smiling.

Joseph reached up and gently touched the side of my face. "I can't tell you how happy seeing you smile makes me."

My heart fluttered, but my smile faded slightly at the reminder. "Well, it's been hard to smile lately."

"I know." There was a slight tone of apology in his voice. "It's just... I want to savour any happiness. The smallest bit that you might feel."

I nodded slightly, and said after a moment, "Sometimes... sometimes I feel hope. More so now than I used to. I used to not be able to feel anything. But you already knew that." I met his gaze. "But now... there are glimpses at happiness. At a future where I'll smile without a second thought." I brushed my lips against Joseph's and whispered against his mouth, "You make me happy."

Joseph's hand tightened on my waist and he closed the millimetre gap between our lips, kissing me fiercely, his other hand holding the side of my head. I made a small noise in the back of my throat and kissed him back just as passionately, swinging a leg over him, straddling his hips. With my hands braced either side of Joseph's head on the pillow, our lips stayed sealed together, and I moved my body against his.

A low moan escaped Joseph's mouth. I smiled into the kiss and shifted my hips again. A hardness pressed against me, causing a heat to grow where our bodies were flush with one another.

"My parents," he muttered between kisses, "Alice. We–" another low noise came from him. "They might hear."

I sat up and sighed. "You're probably right." Even so, I ran my hands lightly down Joseph's bare torso. "Might be a little weird with them in the same house."

"Mm." A frown was on Joseph's face as he gripped my hips. "I wish we were back in that hotel."

I traced the features of Joseph's face with a gentle finger. "I know." It was unfair – we'd finally been able to admit our feelings for each other, only to be unable to do anything once we were back at home. "This sucks."

His hands moved upwards, under my t-shirt, grazing my ribs. "You're telling me."

With a heavy exhale, I rolled off Joseph and onto my back, rubbing my face. "God. I don't see how I'm going to be able to sleep now."

Joseph gave a low laugh. "You don't have very much self-restraint."

I had pretty much none, when it came to Joseph. "And you're going to find it just so easy? Lying here? Just... sleeping?"

"Not at all." Joseph shifted closer to me, flattening a hand on my stomach underneath my t-shirt, his fingers making lazy circles.

"You're not making it any easier," I grumbled, my senses narrowing to his touch.

He grinned at me. Grinned – Joseph hardly ever grinned. "I'm not?"

I scowled at him and turned over, facing away from him. "You know exactly what you're doing."

I felt the warmth of Joseph's body press against mine, his light breaths tickling the back of my neck. "I just... I can't seem to stop myself from touching you." His lips grazed the skin beneath my ear. "To remind myself that I can."

I understood what he meant. This – it didn't feel real. It didn't feel like we should be allowed to do this. But we were here, and I felt Joseph, I felt his heat and his hands and his lips, and it was real. I twisted my head round enough to capture Joseph's mouth with my own, our lips moving together. And as I kissed him, and felt his body against mine, I still felt my love for him. I felt that happiness. And I felt hope.