The last few days of summer passed, and back to school we went. Alice was beyond excited – after all, this was our last year, and we were at the top of the school now. Just one more year of school... it was around this time that we would have to choose what universities we wanted to go to. Alice was set on Bath, but I was still unsure. I was thinking about taking a gap year like Joseph was doing. I liked the idea of finding myself, or whatever. Because at the moment, I wasn't really sure who I was.

My classmates, despite having already seen me at Dylan's party, still stared and gave me awkward half smiles, as if they didn't quite know how to act around me. I did understand – it is hard to know what to say to a person who's lost their parents. A couple of friends I had in my classes struck up conversations with me, which I tried my best to reciprocate. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It was probably good for me to see people other than the Moore's and my close circle of friends. It felt refreshing, and my classes kept me busy. And because I was so distracted with all the work, time passed relatively quickly. Joseph had been spending some nights in my room, and I sometimes slept in his. Those were the nights that I often got a good night's sleep. Despite this, he became a little less flirty, and he was holding back from touching me – I was starting to miss his usual caresses and the way he brushed hair back from my face. I knew he was doing this because of what I'd said about needing to focus on myself. I appreciated it, but I also found it incredibly annoying. Joseph had been so close to kissing me many times, and then he stopped himself. It was extremely frustrating.

On a Saturday a couple of weeks before the wedding, Alice woke us all up earlier than we would usually get up on a Saturday. Luckily, Joseph had not chosen the night before to come and sleep in my bed, because if he had, we would have been screwed. Alice was not in the habit of knocking.

"Up, up, up!" she exclaimed, drawing my curtains with a flourish. "We have a very important task today!"
I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut. "Alice. It's Saturday."

"I know, but we need to go shopping. We've already left it too late as it is." She pulled my duvet off me.

"No! Why would you do that?" I complained, curling up in a ball. "That was so cruel."

"It's the only way to get you up. I've already woken Joseph, who was extremely grumpy, but he's coming too." Alice jumped on me and wrapped her legs around me like a koala. "Come on, Ana. This is exciting! We love dress shopping."

I did enjoy shopping. But it was still too early. "Get off me. Give me a couple of minutes and I'll be up."

"But Ana, I just don't believe you." She detached herself from me and darted to my wardrobe. "Here, I'll pick your outfit. That's one less thing for you to do."

"Why do you have so much energy?" I grumbled, slowly sitting up. I hadn't got to sleep until late last night, hence why I was so tired and grumpy.

"I always have energy. I'm like a..." Alice frowned in thought. "What's an energetic animal?"

"I don't know," I muttered. "You're more energetic than any animal there is."

"Maybe like a monkey," she said thoughtfully, ignoring my comment. "Anyway. Here you go." She threw some of my baggy jeans and a white top at me. "Get dressed. We're leaving at nine-thirty pronto."

I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It was eight-thirty. "I do not need an hour to get ready."

"Great, then we can leave earlier." She bounded out of my room, calling behind her, "Get ready!"

I sighed and got myself out of bed, pulling on the clothes Alice got out for me. I put on a little makeup and headed downstairs.

We all had breakfast together, and even Joseph joined. He had a very irritable look on his face, but he was still here.

"I still don't know why I need to come, Alice," he muttered, sipping on coffee.

"Well, you need a tux, and you can give your opinions," she said as if it was obvious.

Joseph just made a noise of annoyance. He caught my eye and I smiled slyly. Joseph rolled his eyes at me. This could be fun.

After breakfast, we all set off, driving to a big shopping centre that wasn't in Newacre. Joseph was behind the wheel while Alice was in charge of the aux cord. I sat in the back, listening and trying to keep up as Alice chattered away.

"We have to get churros when we get there. No place in Newacre even does churros. I haven't had them in ages. Mm, I don't know if I prefer churros with chocolate sauce or caramel sauce, both are so good. Guess I'll just have to have both. Ooh, and we should go to that really nice coffee shop. They do such good sandwiches."

I couldn't help but smile slightly. Alice's ability to talk non-stop had always impressed me. She was a useful person to have in awkward social situations.

We arrived at the shopping centre and Alice led us around, squealing with excitement. Joseph and I walked more calmly behind her, close enough to each other that our hands occasionally brushed. The slightest touch set my heart racing.

Into the first shop we went, Alice grabbing about ten dresses. Joseph was trailing behind, looking extremely uncomfortable. I couldn't blame him. The only other men in the shop were a father with a young teen girl, and a boy following awkwardly after what I guessed was his girlfriend. I noticed two girls of around my age giving appreciative looks to Joseph, looking him up and down. I scowled in their direction. Joseph didn't even notice. Joseph might have been more observant than most boys, but he was still a boy, and generally speaking, boys tended to be very oblivious.

While Alice ran to the dressing room and I was still looking, Joseph came and stood close behind me. His hand brushed my waist lightly.

"What colour do you think I should wear?" I asked as I ran my fingers over the different dresses. I tried to ignore Joseph's touch.

"Um..." He removed his hand from my waist and came to stand next to me. He folded his arms as he looked at the dresses. "I have no idea."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Come on. What's your favourite colour?"

Joseph raised his eyebrows at me. "Why? You want to wear my favourite colour to the wedding?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

He gave me a slight smirk. "Mm. Okay. Well..." he thought for a moment. "I like green. But like, an emerald green."

"Emerald green," I repeated. "That's very specific."

"Well, I am an artist, after all," Joseph said cynically.

"Glad to see you're finally embracing it." A couple of dresses caught my fancy, so I grabbed them and went to the dressing room, dragging Joseph with me. He loitered outside, crossing his arms and looking embarrassed.

"Ana and Joseph, what do you think about this one?" Alice called, stepping out of her cubicle in a dark red, satiny dress. It was gorgeous.

"You look amazing, Alice," I said, eyeing my own choices distastefully. Alice always did have an eye for amazing dresses.

"Joseph?" she questioned, doing a twirl.

"Yeah, nice," he said indifferently.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Should have known you'd be no help." She looked at herself in the mirror, frowning. "Hmm. I'm not sure. I need to try the others on."

Joseph groaned and put his head in his hands. "Why am I here?"

"Not because of your expressive opinions, that's for sure," Alice called, and I laughed before going into another cubicle to try my dresses on.

The first one was okay – silver and rather low cut. I slyly wondered what Joseph's reaction would be. I stepped out and raised an eyebrow at Joseph. "What do you think?"

Joseph immediately sat up straighter, his eyebrows shooting up. His eyes ran up my body and widened at the exposure of skin. He cleared his throat and looked away. "Yeah. Um. Nice."

I smirked at him. "Oh, come on, that's what you said about Alice's."

Joseph's gaze went back to me, his eyes intense. "Well, it's..." He rubbed his jaw. "Too sparkly."

I laughed and Alice came out in a different dress. She examined me and said, "Ooh, Ana, that's extremely sexy. But I actually think Joseph's right – it is too sparkly."

I looked at myself in the mirror. "You're probably right." The second dress was a no-go – it was a strange fit that did me no justice. I waited outside with Joseph while Alice tried the rest of her dresses on, giving my honest opinions. Joseph just gave the occasional noncommittal grunt.

Alice finally decided on one – a beautiful, pale blue, strappy dress, with a sweetheart neckline. I still hadn't found one I liked in this shop, and so we moved onto another. And then there was nothing in that shop, too.

"I can't – I have to go. I'm going crazy," Joseph groaned. "Please, let me go. I'll go to the coffee shop and you can join me later."

I held back a laugh at the distress on Joseph's face. Alice let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine. But then you won't be able to help pick out Ana's dress."

"Not like I'm very useful, anyway," he muttered.

"You're not wrong about that, Joe," Alice said absentmindedly while she looked around. "We'll see you later, then." And with that she led me to yet another shop.

I ended up finding an incredible dress, that happened to be green. Emerald green. I wasn't really going to actively try and find a dress that was Joseph's favourite colour, but when I saw this one, I knew it would be perfect. It was satiny and gorgeous, with a more embellished upper half and a slightly daring neckline. I suddenly couldn't wait for the wedding.

When we went and found Joseph, our hands full of shopping bags, Alice and I were feeling tired but satisfied. We'd also gone and bought some new makeup and jewellery while we were at it, and now our bank accounts were looking a little emptier. But, as Alice had said airily, it was worth it.

"Finally," Joseph commented as we sat down. "Took you long enough."

I shot him a look. He gave me a sly smile back.

"Great outfits take time, Joseph," Alice said, shaking her head at him. "Did you get yourself a tux?"

"Yes, but it took about two minutes, so I've been here forever." He rubbed his face. "Sitting in a coffee shop by myself for hours is not my idea of fun."

"You are so dramatic. We took half an hour, tops," Alice insisted.
"No. You took an hour and fifteen minutes. I know, because what else could I do while sitting here apart from timing how long it took you to find a dress?" he said, irritation in his voice.

I swatted him. "You complain too much."

Joseph flicked me back. "You'd be complaining too if you had to sit here with nothing to do for an hour and fifteen minutes."

I rolled my eyes at him. Alice's eyes flickered between the two of us, the briefest look of suspicion crossing her face. But then it vanished, and she said brightly, "Well, why don't we go get churros now?"

So we did. And the churros were amazing. We later got back to the house, all of us in fairly good spirits. Joseph's mood had been improved by the churros.

"Successful shopping trip?" Catherine remarked when we arrived home.

"Very. I think Joseph had an amazing time," Alice said, shooting Joseph a wide smile.

Catherine laughed. "I'm sure. Well? Can I see the dresses?"

Alice and I pulled the dresses out of the bags and held them up for Catherine to see. I looked at Joseph. He was staring at my dress, and then his eyes went to me. A slow smile spread across his face, and I felt my heart pound.

"They are both gorgeous," Catherine gushed. "Look, Mark, haven't the girls bought lovely dresses?"

Mark glanced up from reading the newspaper. "Oh, yes. Very nice."

Both Alice and I laughed. Such a 'dad' response. And something so similar to what my dad would say that my chest panged, the emptiness inside me aching. The memory still hurt. I wasn't sure when it would stop hurting. At the moment, that moment seemed like it would never come. Or maybe it would always hurt, and I would just get better at dealing with it.

"Well," Alice said, glancing at me, "I'm going to go and sunbathe out on the patio. That shopping exhausted me. Wanna come, Ana?"

I let out a breath and gave her a small smile. "Sure."