Alice, who had gone in search of blankets and extra pillows, soon reappeared in the living area. I couldn't even see her face, she was carrying so many blankets.

"Alice, you are aware that it is August and rather warm at the present?" Ellie reminded her, eyeing the huge bundle in Alice's arms. Alice dropped the blankets with a huff.

"Well, excuse me for trying to make our girls' night cosier." She stuck her lower lip out at Ellie, then glanced over at Joseph. "Girls' night, Joseph." She made a shooing motion.

Joseph rolled his eyes at her. "I'm going." He headed towards the stairs and called behind him, "Enjoy whatever trashy movie you decide to watch."

Even though he couldn't see, Alice flipped him off. "Ugh. He's so annoying."

"Maybe so, but – I know this is inappropriate – your brother is very attractive, Alice," Ellie said matter-of-factly.

"What?" Alice exclaimed incredulously. "Gross. Why would you say that?"

"Objectively speaking," Ellie held her hands up defensively, "He is. Ana, back me up here."

I shot her a look. I was not going to back her up. "Uh... I don't know. He's Joseph."

"She just doesn't want to admit it because she lives with him," Ellie said, flicking a hand at me in dismissal.

No, I didn't want to admit it because I had a huge thing for him.

"That's just weird," Alice said, shaking her head.

"Maybe so. But it's true. Even Sam said so."

I laughed. Alice looked like she was holding back a smile, and said, "Shouldn't you be concerned if Sam is saying that boys are attractive?"

"Nope," Ellie said confidently. "He is just very secure in his masculinity."

"And rightly so," I said approvingly.

"Still," Alice grumbled. "It's weird when my friends say Joseph is good looking."

"You know what else is weird?" Ellie grabbed a chocolate bar and broke off a bit, popping it into her mouth. "The fact that we never actually met Joseph until recently. Except Ana."

She was right – it was weird. Sure, I'd met Joseph when I was younger, but he disappeared once we'd all gone to secondary school. And I had thought about it but had never really asked Alice.

"Yeah, I don't really know," Alice said sincerely. "When we got older, Joseph had a lot of friends, and he was always out and about seeing them. Never bothered to join in when we had other families over, and stuff. And then he went to boarding school, so he was barely ever home. It's not like there's some big secret reason why he was never around."

"That's disappointing," Ellie said with a sigh. "I was hoping he was a secret agent."

Alice hit Ellie with a cushion. "That's because you have an overactive imagination."

"You're one to talk," I said, pointing at Alice. "You have the most overactive imagination of anybody I know."

"Not true," she protested.

"Oh come on," Ellie said. "You're always off in Alice-land." Suddenly she gasped. "Wonderland! You are Alice in Wonderland."

"Have you only just made that connection?" I said drily, but Alice gasped, too.

"Oh my god! I am Alice in Wonderland!"

I huffed in amusement. "I can't believe you two."

"She's never realised because she really is always in Wonderland. Mentally." Ellie tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I just never realised because my mind is always focused on much more intellectual things."

"Like Sam's penis?" I suggested, and Alice sniggered.

"Of course not. Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm usually thinking about what to eat for my next meal."

"Very intellectual," I agreed, and we all laughed. This really was just what I needed. I had barely thought about Harry at all.

"Let's get drunk," Alice said suddenly, grinning slyly. "My parents are probably already asleep. They won't notice if I take a little vodka from the cupboard."

Ellie wrinkled her nose. "Vodka is disgusting. But let's do it."

Alice giggled and then glanced at me. "Ana? You fancy it?"

"Absolutely," I said immediately. Sure, getting drunk is never a solution to a problem, but it's always a nice postponement to solving said problem. It was the last few days of summer before our last year of school, so why shouldn't we?

Half an hour and about three big shots each of vodka later, we were all feeling it. The night was warm, so we'd moved outside to the patio at the back of the house where a sitting area was set up, surrounded by fairy lights.

"Okay, Alice," I said, taking a swig from the vodka bottle, wincing, before passing it to Ellie. "Who would you rather, Sam or Ryan?"

"You can't ask me that!" Alice protested while Ellie let out a cackle. "I absolutely do not see them in that way."

"The game doesn't care about that, Alice, and nor do we," I said, pointing a finger at her. "Answer the question."

She let out a dramatic groan. "But I can't."

"You can, and you will," Ellie said in an overly serious voice. "Either answer or finish the bottle of vodka."

"Or streak down the street," I added. The only person I knew who had ever actually done that was Ellie, but she was the bravest of us.

"Fine. Ryan," Alice said very quickly, and then took another sip of vodka. Ellie and I both laughed.

"You're just saying that because of Ellie and Sam," I said accusatorily.

"I am not," she insisted. "I love Ryan. He's adorable. But never, and I mean never, tell him I said that."

"Sure, sure," Ellie said breezily.

"Let's get them to come over!" I exclaimed suddenly.

"But I said you can't tell Ryan–"

I shushed Alice. "Obviously we won't tell Ryan. Probably. But Ellie..." I raised an eyebrow at her. "No funny business with Sam in the bushes. Or anywhere else."

"Can't promise anything," she sang, already getting her phone and ringing Sam. "Sam? Hello my darling. Come to Alice's house. Right now." She paused. "What do you mean, why? Do we need a reason? Yes, I may be slightly drunk. So come. And get Ryan." She hung up with a flourish and grinned drunkenly at us. "He's on his way."

***

Another half an hour or so later, and we were all definitely drunk. Sam and Ryan had arrived quickly and made an effort to catch up. We each had a cup of vodka plus some lemonade Alice had managed to find, but Sam had poured the drinks, and of course he had made them very strong. Someone had had the bright idea of playing 'never have I ever', so that was what we were doing now. We all pretty much knew everything about each other anyway – they all knew that I was the last one in the group who hadn't had sex yet. It never really bothered me – I mean, I was only seventeen – but it did mean that I missed out on drinking when all the sexual questions came up in 'never I have I ever'. I had done stuff with guys, just not everything. And I was fine with that. Not that I didn't want to – I mean, every time I looked at Joseph, I could feel how much I wanted him. But of course, I couldn't really go there.

"Okay. Never have I ever... kissed a girl," Alice said, and Sam, Ryan, Ellie and I all drank, Ellie and I giggling. This was already a known fact – Ellie and I had shared a drunken kiss at a party once, just for fun.

"I'm still sad I never got to witness that," Sam said wistfully, and Ellie, who was sat next to him, whacked him.

"You are such a boy."

"And glad," he said, grinning, taking hold of her chin in one hand and pressing a loud kiss to her lips.

"No! None of that," I pretty much shouted.

"Yeah, come on guys," Ryan complained. "I'm the one sharing the sofa with both of you."

"Alright, alright, I'll try to restrain myself," Sam said dramatically. "Here, Ry, go in the middle of us to stop us pouncing on each other."

"I really don't like the sound of that–" Ryan started to say, but Sam was already standing up, staggering a little. He pushed Ryan into the middle, practically falling back down on the other side of the sofa.

"I am not a fan of this arrangement," Ryan grumbled.

"Too bad," I slurred. "Never have I ever... street down the– no, streaked down the street."

Ellie drank. "You know, this fact should be changed. Right now." She banged her fist on the arm of the sofa resolutely. "Who's gonna do it?"

Alice was shaking her head continuously, Ryan pretended not to hear her, and Sam just said, "Only if you do it with me."

"We'll see. Okay. Never have I ever... had a crush on my friend's sibling," Ellie said, giving a not so subtle look to me. I was pretty sure she didn't actually know about my feelings for Joseph, she was just winding me up.

"Shouldn't you be drinking for that one?" I accused.

"Oh god," Alice groaned. "Is this about Joseph again?"

"What's this? What have I missed?" Ryan protested.

"Everyone is in love with Alice's brother, apparently," Sam told Ryan. "Including me."

Ryan seemed to think for a moment. "Yeah, I can see that."

"Guys!" Alice complained, and we all burst into laughter. Even me. I wasn't too worried that anybody would actually guess about my feelings for Joseph. It was all just a joke to them, so I pretended it was for me, too.

"Okay, okay." Sam thought for a second. "Never have I ever... kissed a guy."

Ellie, Alice and I drank. And then after a moment, Ryan drank.

"What?" Alice exclaimed in shock. "When was this? Why do we not know about it?"

"Alice, you are yelling very loudly," I said, throwing an empty crisp packet at her. "But Ryan, do tell us the details."

Ellie was just watching Ryan closely. He was looking slightly uncomfortable, and then he sighed. "Well... I've actually been meaning to tell you guys about this, but, um..." He looked down at his cup and took a large gulp before saying very quickly, "I've been seeing a guy."

For a second, there was quiet. And then Alice began to flood Ryan with questions. "Really? Since when? Who is it?"

"Alice," Ellie said quietly, in a slight reprimand. I could now tell that this was something Ryan was finding difficult to talk about, so I waited for him to speak.

"It's actually... one of Harry's friends," Ryan gave me a nod, "Finn. He came to my beach thing."

I tried to recall what Finn had looked like. I was pretty sure he'd had platinum blonde hair, and he was attractive.

"I'm still figuring it out," Ryan continued, and even in the dim lighting I could see the light brown skin on his face becoming redder. "I'm pretty sure I'm still into girls, but I also like guys. And I really like Finn." Despite his embarrassment, he smiled.

Sam ruffled his hair. "Just glad you've got someone who makes you happy, mate."

"Yeah, honestly," Ellie said, wrapping her arm around him in a hug. "It must have been hard for you to tell us. But I'm glad you did."

"If you're happy, we're happy," I added, a rare smile on my face. "And from what I recall, he was very attractive."

"He really is," Ryan agreed, and I could see that he was practically glowing as he talked about Finn.

Alice looked sheepish. "Sorry for bombarding you with questions. I thought you meant it was a one-off kiss, like Ana and Ellie's."

"Picturing that in my head right now," Sam said, his eyes closed.

"Ellie, hit him for me," I said, and Ellie reached over Ryan and smacked Sam's knee.

"But anyway," Alice continued, throwing a look at Sam. "Bi, gay, whatever – we still love you. Obviously."

Ryan broke out into a big smile. "I knew you guys wouldn't see me differently, but it was just hard to tell anybody. But anyway. I feel like I've added a serious tone to the night, now."

"Are you kidding?" Ellie kissed his cheek. "This is good news! You're in a happy relationship! This is cause for even more celebration."

"Cheers to that!" I said, holding my glass up. We all clinked our glasses together, cheering and laughing drunkenly.

After a few more rounds of 'never have I ever', it was safe to say that we were all now extremely drunk. As in, on a scale of one to ten – one being completely sober, ten being paralytic drunk – we were all about an eight. I had a feeling we were all just going to pass out on the sofas outside, and Alice's parents would discover us in the morning. But I didn't really care.

"I wish I had a pool," Alice slurred. "So we could go skiddy-skinny dipping."

"We could still get naked," Sam pointed out. Then his eyes lit up. "Let's play strip poker!"

"Sam, do you really think any of us will actually be able to play poker right now?" I said as I was sprawled out on the sofa, my legs on Alice's lap. The world was starting to spin slightly.

"What about..." Ellie scrunched up her face while she thought. "Dare or strip. And we'll just do some totally outrageous dares, so everybody has to get naked, baby."

"Yes!" I said loudly. "Excellent idea, Ellie Bellie."

Sam and Ryan laughed loudly, and Sam said, "Ellie Bellie. Fantastic nickname."

"I have an idea!" Alice suddenly exclaimed. "Okay. Okay. Sam. Lick Ellie's toe."

Sam just grinned. "Nothing I haven't done before."

I dramatically covered my ears with my hands. "Too much information."

Ellie, unbothered, removed her sock and wiggled her toe in Sam's direction invitingly. Sam leaned across Ryan – who was still in between them – and licked Ellie's toe for far too long.

"Okay, we've seen enough," Ryan said, pushing Ellie's foot away. "Thanks so much for that, Alice."

"You are totally welcome."

"Okay, my turn." Ellie took a thoughtful sip of her drink. "Ana, go streak."

I shook my head vehemently. "That's gonna be a no from me, Bellie. The top is coming off." I pulled my camisole over my head, revealing my bra underneath, and the boys wolf whistled. "Oh, shut up." I stroked my chin while I thought of a dare. My drunken brain was not working too well. "Alice, kiss Ellie. It's only fair."

Sam cheered. Ellie beckoned Alice seductively. Alice grinned drunkenly. "Okay, okay. But just a peck."

"Fair enough. Any more than that and you might not be able to resist me," Ellie said suggestively. They shared only a quick kiss, but Sam still looked like a child on Christmas day.

Soon enough, we were all pretty scantily clad. I was just in my bra and pants, as was Alice, while Ellie had managed to keep on her top. Sam and Ryan both sat there in their boxers, but Ryan still had socks on. Why he hadn't chosen to remove those first was beyond me. The games had come to an end, and now we were all just chatting quietly. Alice had fallen asleep, and Ryan had covered her with a blanket. Ellie was leaning against Sam, their fingers linked together. Ryan was showing me pictures of Finn, rambling on about him. I couldn't help but smile as I listened to him. I'd never seen him this happy. I then caught him up on what happened between Harry and me.

"Never thought he was good enough for you anyway," Ryan said, poking my nose. "Too..." He frowned while he tried to think of what to say. "Too... blonde."

"I think you might be right. Don't trust blonde people."

"But Alice is also blonde," Ryan stated, a confused expression on his face. "Do we trust Alice?"

I thought for a moment. "We do, because she's not, like, totally blonde."

"That's true, true, true," Ryan said, his eyes closing. "I'm hungry."

I patted his head. "I'll get some more food."

"You're the best."

"I know."