Im having this long time crush with my classmate Nahoya kawata, it's starting to get annoying. You know what i mean? I wanted to tell him but everytime im picking up the pace someone would interupt me.

Sometimes, girls would surrounds him and even his male friends.. Most of the time Angry and him is inseparable too.

I really wanna confess my feeling for him and i am ready to get my heart broken too. But, at least i tried.

Im not assuming anything. I dont expect anything in return, i just want to tell him and that's it. I'll rest in peace JK.

Nahoya has a very tricky appearance, despite of his friendly face that guy is a demon at heart.. His kinda scary but i fell inlove with him for the reason that i like how he cared for his twin brother so much and I like how he say curse word without scaring anyone.

I wrote him a love letter once and it didnt end well, that dude just throw it straight into the trash can without even reading it.

Luckily, i didnt put my names on it. That's a smart and safe move, at least now i know that he would just throw it away.

Nahoya still manage to get decent grades in school without even trying. Im always watching him, he doesn't really pay much attention to the lesson though.

One day, i saw nahoya standing in the courtyard alone. My heartbeat is racing when i thought of confessing to him since its my chance and i won't be able to get a chance like this.

I approach him where he stand, he is staring at the bushes and i dont see anything there. What is he staring at.

I pretended to cough to get his attention. ",**cough **cough. Hey there, Nahoya. He then look at me at the side and turn his gaze back to the bushes.

" Can i talk to you for a minute, i promise it wont take long" i smiled at him while waiting for him to respond.

"hmm" he hummed and i nod. At least he hummed as a respond. Its better than nothing.

Me and Nahoya never really talk. Im not the kind of person who could get his attention.

"You see,.. I have a c-crush on you. I really l-like you Nahoya"  i said, please earth swallow me now.

I looked at him and he is not responding at all. Still looking at the bushes,' what the fuck is on those bushes anyway'..

"Nahoya?" i said trying to get his attention again.

After 10 seconds, he quickly turn around to leave with out saying anything..

I feel so hurt and ignored, am i really this worthless to his eyes that he doesn't even bother to respond. I can accept rejection but that's even worst than rejection.

I sat on my chair while looking at Nahoya that sits near me. I dont have the guts to face him anymore. I just want to go home cause i think im gonna be sick.

I didnt come to school for two days and had my mom worried sick about what's happening to me.

I dont have the urge to come to school this past few days.

But, my teacher visited me and i pretend that i have stomach ache for her to let me rest a few days more.

Ive been absent for a week and now im coming to school cause i have a lot of activities and school work to catch up.

I went inside the classroom and i almost bump on someone's chest, when i look up it was Souta. I apologize and started to walk pass him when i saw Nahoya walking behind him. My heart skip a beat but i just look down and avoid eye contact.

Well that was awkward. What am i supposed to do?

I quickly sat on my chair and begin my reading and catching up for the few lessons i have missed.

I can here giggles outside the classroom, so i check it out. Out of curiousity. I saw Nahoya being surrounded by a lot females from the other sections. And i even thought i stood a chance.

I felt so small and ugly, i dont stood a chance with those girls. As I walk to my locker, i pick up a book and decided to read on the roodtop.

When i arrive at the rooftop i saw Souta feeding a cat, Souta is always pissed and his expression never change. That's why a lot of people doesn't like him.

Well im not one of those people... I see this soft side of him always, he is an angel.

I walk towards Souta and sat beside him and patted the cat's head, He didnt react and keep his gaze towards the cat.

"Can i help you feed the cat" i said and he nodded, he hand me a small paperbag full of biscuits.

"You know people doesn't really want to talk to me" he said while looking at me confuse.

"Why is that..?" i said pretending i didnt know.

"Because they thought im always in a bad mood and angry" he said and i immediately felt bad for him.

"No you're not. Its their problem if they judge easily.. They need to change you know... What matters is how kind you are on the inside.." i uttered while i poke his chest and Souta looks at me with a slight amazement. I stood up and went to the corner to read when i saw Nahoya approaching Souta.

They talked but i couldn't hear anything. Souta waved his hands at me and I happily waved back.

I saw Nahoya looked at the direction im sitting but im not really sure if he is really looking at me.

The next day, i was answering a test sheet given by our homeroom teacher. I heard a chair being dragged towards my location and i was shocked to see Souta sitting beside me while looking at the paper I was answering.

Its recess time/ break time so only a few of my classmates are there. He places a cheese bun in my table and said "Here, you can have this" he said and i was really flattered. We only talked yesterday and he is being so friendly now.  Im kinda happy to have him as a friend.

"Say Souta, You wanna hang out after class?" i uttered while staring at the test sheet i was answering. He nodded as a response and he stood up to give me let me answer the test sheet.

The whole room was quiet. I cant barely hear any sound. But, something made me feel uncomfortable for a moment.. It feels like someone is staring at me from the back. Sudden chills was sent all over my body.

I turn around to look if my suspicions was right and i saw Nahoya sitting at the back alone and staring at me, a sweat drop from my forehead as i gulped. Why is he staring at me like that?

He isn't smiling at all, the unbreakable smile he always have.

I felt a little terrified and i stood up and grab my books ready to leave the room. When i heard Nahoya signed.

"you liked me and now your going after my brother..? How pathetic." he said. I immediately stop to look at him and i unintentionally drop the books i was holding.

"What are you even talking about?" i frown my eyebrows to look at him with angry expression.

"You know what i mean, you slut." he said and my heart started to ache hearing him call me a 'slut' out of nowhere. He walks towards me and stop when he is only inches away.

Nahoya is a very prank person and i am aware of that. Sometimes he is mean but i didn't expect him to be this evil and blunt.

He stared at me and we just stood there, i couldn't process everything that i heard. I feel hurt from his words.

"Well, are you gonna admit it now? That your a slu-- before he could finish i slapped him as hard as i could. I cant let him finish that" S" word as i had enough of his degrading.

He was still frozen to place as he wasn't expecting that i would slap him out of nowhere.

Tears are now dripping down from my eyes as i stared at him.

"your an asshole Nahoya. Your nothing like your brother and i am so wrong for liking someone like you!"  i shouted at him with my hands trembling.. I walk away with out even picking up my books on the floor.

I ran as fast as i can towards the rooftop, i was really a very sensitive person. This things are too much for me, the only guy i ever liked has called me a slut and it hurts.

I climb to the edge of the rooftop with out even thinking everything through, this is a very impulsive move.

But, i cant stand the pain i was feeling. I just wanted it to stop.

As i took a deep breathe,

I closed my eyes and let my body fall off the edge of the rooftop.

The wind is blowing so calm, its warmth made me want to keep my eyes close forever.

I just want to make the pain go away..

I was just waiting for my body to hit the ground but someone grabs my wrist and and stop me. As i opened my eyes i saw Nahoya holding unto my wrist with both hands and trying to pull me back up.

He successful pulled me all the way up, as he is still catching his breathe.

I looked at him with my eyes wide open and tears are still falling down my cheeks.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! It's just an arguement. You would kill yourself with just that? Geez." he stood up as he dust his clothes before approaching me and giving me a hug. Im still crying and trembling from what just happened. But i cant believe that the person i like is now embracing me.

"Im sorry okay, im sorry for calling you a slut" he said.

"i was just jealous" he added.

____________

Sorry for making this.. Im depressed 😔