Bonten kakucho.

Angst. 😊

Dedicated to:
stoeolq
-girl dont sell your sister please❤️🤣

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We tend to attract what we fear..

Im afraid to lose him.

I dont wanna live without him.

Being his girlfriend and the only girl he laid his eyes on makes you feel so special.

Kakucho is the type of guy who isn't interested in women at all but you manage to get his attention.

He is quite a snob and he would always ignore you most of the time but you would always think positively and didn't make it a big deal. Its his personality anyways i cant do anything about it.

"Hon, im going home first" you said while sitting beside him on the sofa. It was a private room for bonten members to hang out with.

You alwyas cared for kakuvho and always cheerful and talkative whenever you were with him. I always do the talking.

Ran and Rindou were sitting next to kakucho while koko was taking countless calls and never giving a shit about anyone inside the room.

Mikey and the others were on the way to kill someone again together with takeomi.

Kakucho didn't respond and continue to ignore you while reading a text msg.

Sometimes it hurts your feelings that he is being like this and wanted to end your relationship with him. But, everytime you think of ending things.. You always failed cause you realize that you love him so much.

After heading home and arriving at your apartment, you drank a cup of tea before going to bed and getting some rest.

A loud sound of thunder woke you up.

You slide your hands to the space next to you but didn't find kakucho. I wonder what time is it.

Its 3:00am in the morning.

You lazily stood up to go to the kitchen and get a glass of water while dialing kakucho's phone number.

Your grip on the glass cup tighten when you heard a female voice answered the call. Who the fuck is she. What the fuck is going on!?

You put the glasses down and inhale some air before answering back.

"This is his friend YN, where is he?" your voice is a bit shaky and you already have an idea of what they did. Kakucho is not the person who wont come home unless he have a mission and task.

"He is asleep beside me, i can wake him up if its urgent" she said and you greeted your teeth while you felt sudden pain in your chest.

"No its not, just tell him his girlfriend was looking for him and getting worried, tell him to come home after he wakes up." you said trying to control your tears from falling and your voice from shaking.

"oh, he has a girlfriend?! . I guess he lied last night when he said he was single." she said acting suprise then you hung up the call, you were too pissed and don't wanna hear any of it.

You feared of losing kakucho and the relationship. He is all i have.

You were too dependent on him and almost give your all to this relationship that's why you cant let him go.

But i cant no longer do this.

Ignoring me was alright.

But this... Cheating on me was too much.

You pound your chest with your hands while you sob quietly in the corner.

You cried to your hearts content and didn't realise that you have fallen asleep right to that corner you had your breakdown a few hours ago.

You stood up when you heard the door opens.

Kakucho was standing in front of you but you didnt feel anything. You weren't smiling and greeting him with such energy just like you use to.

You just stare at his figure. He looks like he is in a hurry to go home.

Dont worry, i already figured it out.

You just stare at him with swollen eyes and didnt say anything.

After a minute of staring, he was quiet and so were you.

You decided to remove your gaze on him and head straight to the bedroom without saying a single word.

I stayed with you even though you were a very boring person.

I loved you.

I decided to make you my happiness and my world.

I fear of losing you the most.

But now, i dont know anymore..

You continue to ignore kakucho all week and didn't felt guilty by not responding to anything he ask.

However, you would respond to others except him.

Mikey was talking to you about random stuff when kakucho approaches you and gently pull your wrist.

"YN, i need to talk to you in private" he utter while looking at you still sitting down.

After a few seconds you decided to stand up and follow him.

The moment the two of you reaches the corner where no one could hear your argument. Kakucho started to break the silence.

"Stop this drama, im sorry if i slept with a random girl last week, i was drunk and had taken too much drugs." he said while pulling you closer. Its the first time you heard kakucho sounding so desperate to explain and talk.

But still you didn't answer. So, he felt annoyed.

" What else do you want me to say, i didnt mean it. Im not in the right state of mind" he added while looking at you worried that what he said wasn't convincing.

He waited for you to respond but you just stared at him. Now you can feel it dont you? When somebody ignores you.

He got a little pissed and holds both side of your shoulder. His hands were shaking but still you stared at him with emotionless eyes. I think im broken.. Or should I say numb.

Kakucho started shouting at you.

"stop this act right now, you were always talkative so why aren't you responding.!!" his gripped gets tighter.

Ran noticed that something was wrong thats why he went closer to the both of you and put a hand on kakucho's shoulder.. He tapped it a few times to tell him to calm down.

His gaze was intense and you can feel how angry and annoyed he is.

Kakucho calm down and massage his temple. Ran decided to leave but took a glance at you before doing so.

"Fine, if you dont want to talk.. Lets just.."he paused for a few seconds.. Hesitating while looking down.

" Lets just break up"he added and that made you blink twice.

Im afraid to lose him..

But keeping him and staying with him make me lose myself.

After a few seconds you decided to speak. "Okay". Was all you said before turning your back to kakucho.

He flinched hearing your respond as if he heard a mute person spoken a word for the first time. His eyes widened when he gradually comprehend what just happened.

He dumped you and you agreed without having second thought.

Its like you dont care at all.

You went back to the sofa and grab your bag. You stared at everyone and bow your head showing respect before leaving.

Kakucho watch you left the room with out looking back.

He still can't believe what just happened and regretted that he broke up with you.

He massage his temple while thinking of you and what he did wrong. For the first time in his life he become so problematic and afraid. He is so afraid of losing you.

He drank the glass of tequila until the last drop before picking up his jacket and leave in a hurry.

He want to take back what he said and talk to you.

"She's probably in our apartment right now" he mumbled to himself.

Arriving at the apartment, he hurriedly open the door and found you packing your stuff.

You gave him a quick glance then stood up.

"im almost done, apologies if im taking so long." you utter while moving the boxes near the door so you can pick it up easily one by one.

Kakucho walk towards you cupping your cheeks. Since when did he become this affectionate.

He leans to your face and planning to kiss you but stop when you softly said.

" how does it feel to be afraid ..? "

"awful isn't it?"

You back away and leave him hanging there. You took your stuff out of the apartment until the last box.

You left without saying anything.

Its better this way.

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AUTHORS NOTE:

Who has overcome his FEAR, will truly be FREE.. 🙂