THEO HAD NO IDEA WHERE HE WAS GOING.

Well, that is not precisely true. He knew he needed to go to a book store, which means he knew where he needed to go, generally; however, he had followed Bihatra halfway around the world to get to the witch's house, or so it seemed, and he was utterly unfamiliar with the town in which they'd found themselves.

But he was in luck! While their small band of adventurers had decreased in number by one and a half—Bihatra was very tall—it had then increased by about three quarters owing to Franklin's presence.

As they variously walked, minced, bounced, and shambled down the street, Theo turned toward his new, odiferous companion. "Franklin, isn't it?"

The probably-zombie nodded his head in a wobbly way that threw the security of its attachment to the rest of Franklin's body into question. "That's my name, yes."

"I am Theodosius the Necromancer. I used to be Theodosius the Sorcerer, but...well...it's a long story. If you want to know the truth, I still use both titles interchangeably. I guess I don't think I've really arrived yet as a necromancer. Do you know what I mean?"

Franklin blinked at him with one eye. The other eye had a droopy eyelid that remained immobile.

Suddenly embarrassed and recalling his intent not to build rapport with this magical person, Theo hurried on. "This is my wife, Tansy, and our cat, Elliott."

"It's nice to meet all of you. I'm sorry for being so rude at the door. Madam Victoria is very particular about...well...everything."

"I could tell. Don't worry. I know what it's like to be around a bossy woman," said Theo.

"Hey!" said Tansy.

He winced. "Not you, sweetheart." That wasn't precisely true, but, "I meant Bihatra. She's very—ah..."

"Scary?" suggested Franklin.

"Yes. That's it precisely."

Franklin nodded with a little shiver.

"So, what city is this?" Theo asked.

"Southeast Donkeyshire," Franklin said.

"What is it about the place names in this story?" Theo grimaced in bemusement, recalling his journey to Pinkleton, Iowa, which, while it does not actually exist in real life, does not have that absurd of a name, thank you very much, because it really is a real last name, and lots of towns are named after people, Theo.

He snorted, ignoring his long-suffering narrator completely. "And you live here, Franklin, don't you? So you must know a lot about the city."

Franklin held out his detached arm and waved it slightly from side to side in an eeeh, not really gesture.

"A little?"

"Sure, you can say that. I know a little about the city."

"Such as where the nearest book shop is," Theo said, his tone hopeful and wheedling.

But Franklin winced and shook his head. "Sorry. I've never actually been out of the house."

"What?"

"Not once, until now."

"How—? So you live there? Where you work?"

"That's not a foreign concept to you," said Tansy, who had treated Theodosius to more than one lecture about the long, grueling evenings he would spend poring over books and spell work in his own home office.

"But I've at least been outside, and to other places," Theo said.

"Reluctantly and occasionally," added Elliott.

Franklin smiled apologetically. "Honestly, this is the first time I've ever been over the threshold. That I remember, at least. I assume I went all sorts of places before, but of course I don't remember any of that at all."

"Before..." Theo drew to a stop, and his merry band of adventurers stopped with him. They were at a crossroads, a good time to turn if they could figure out where the heck they were headed. He faced Franklin to finish his thought. "...?"

"Before I was reanimated," said Franklin in a flat and uninviting tone, frowning at Theodosius.

"Of course. So you really are a z—"

He bristled. "That's not a nice word. We prefer reanimated person or person living after death."

"Oh! Oh. I didn't know." Theo twisted his hands together, flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

Franklin seemed satisfied by his manner. He relaxed, nodding once and glancing down at Tansy's bottle. "Sometimes, ghosts use person living after death, of course—it's a very diverse community."

"I'm not a ghost," said Tansy.

"She's a Soul," said Theo.

"Oh! Wow. I've never met a pure, incorporeal Soul before."

Theo said, "Elliott, on the other hand—"

"Don't," snapped Elliott. He was seated on the sidewalk, his tail flicking in irritation. "I am a cat, and I shall never be anything less." It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that Elliott, being a cat, believed his species to be at the pinnacle of everything; no creature, living, dead, or undead, could possibly hope to surpass cats in power, importance, or general worth.

"Now," Elliott continued, "are we going to stand here and stare lovingly into one another's eyes, or are we going to go acquire this book? I have very important things to do."

"We know, honey," said Tansy. "We'll get you back to your girlfriend very soon."

"He's not my girlfriend," Elliott muttered. "I don't even know his name."

"Who are we talking about?" asked Franklin, who had only made it to the door of Victoria's house before Theo, Tansy, and Elliott were on their way back out.

"The big spotty cat back at the witch's house," said Theo.

"Oh. Percival?"

Raising his eyebrows, Theo looked down at Elliott, whose persnickety posture had relaxed slightly, his flicking tail falling to curl around his dainty skeletal paws. Elliott turned his head, gazing wistfully back in the direction whence they'd come. "Percival," he sighed. "Oh, what dulcet syllables compose his name."

"At least I knew that," said Franklin. "That is a thing I've now contributed to this quest. As for the book store, I couldn't tell you. But I know where we could go to get some help."

"You do?"

"Yes. Madam Victoria always told me to stay inside on account of the public's general distaste for putrefaction, but she said that if something ever happened I found myself lost in the wild streets of Southeast Donkeyshire, I should look for a person wearing a uniform and a badge. They'll know what to do. That's what she said, and she knows everything."

"Aha." Theo turned around, peering out over the sunny sidewalks and lawns of the residential street they'd been walking down. He saw no one in a uniform, but it certainly gave them something to keep an eye out for as they continued on their journey. "Perfect. Let's find the person in the uniform, then. Come on, Franklin. Elliott. Tansy. It's time to find a book!"