Authors note-

Hi hi hi new hyperfixation help!!??!??;?;?- uhhhhh if you read this, no you didn't and i never wrote it also i barely proofread so if theres bad grammar, my first language isnt english (trust 🤤)

✿✿✿

Sebastian's hands go cold as he feels his mind drift. He's terrified of what he's become, he doesn't recognise himself in mirrors anymore and all of his opinions have changed. When he looks at Ominis, all he sees is an obstacle, same with his uncle, the only difference being their voice.

Ominis has turned into an annoying voice he doesn't recognise. Nothing in his head is telling him that he's friendly. He's seen as a threat towards his goals, however, he still stays near him, he's still friendly to him and he doesn't know why. He doesn't feel in control of his actions but everything around him seems normal and nobody has asked him what's wrong so he just goes with it.

His animal-like side of thinking has him up at night, wondering who he is. Though when the question is asked, he runs away from it, asking who other people are. Is Ominis actually a good person and did he deserve what happened? Is Poppy really his friend? Was Solomon ever there for him and Anne? "Not really." Is usually the answer.

Along with the questions, his new animal type nature has him out at night. Running down the halls late at night, pushing open the doors with his shoulders and almost tripping as he leaves the school grounds. Day after day he finds himself waking up in Hogsmeade or outside of caves, one time he woke up to Sirona placing a tea on the table he had fallen asleep on. Her worried expression making Sebastian's body nauseous with guilt. He tried to pay extra for the drink but she declined "just... Drink it and go to class, Please. And... Give Anne my best, will you?"

Anne.

The only persons who's face was not blurry in Sebastian's mind. The only person who he feels a connection to. He wants to weep whenever he sees her real face, when imagining her he still sees her old face. Round face like her brother's, flesh on her bones, neat nails, her uniform rather than the layers upon layers she has to wear to keep herself from shivering.
So when he's brought back to reality for the few seconds he can and he sees what his twin sister actually looks like, he can't help but go pale himself.

He ignores his tears when he cries. Often sitting at the kitchen table with Anne, crying his eyes out as he's telling a story about something funny that happened in class. Chuckling with tears burning his skin, his hands shaking as he explains something with them. Anne often stops him halfway through, pulling him into a hug, Sebastian crying into her shoulder, his arms squeezing her just a bit too tight, but he's afraid to let go and she knows that he needs it.
One time when this happened, Solomon walked in and yelled at him, peeling him off of Anne, throwing him onto the floor. He felt like he was 6 again and he's broken a glass, the fear that coursed through him was so strong that it could probably kill someone. His hands and arms go cold as his heart hurt from how fast it was beating. The screaming hurt his ears.

So now whenever he comes over, he makes sure his uncle is busy and weakly pleads to Anne, "please don't tell him I cried...!!" Anne always reassuring him that she won't.
She never will. That experience haunts her just as much as it haunts Sebastian.

Sebastian is terrified of this summer. Usually, Ominis' comes home with him to Feldcroft, but he's not sure that he will be able to handle it. He already doesn't recognise him and he doesn't want this stranger to see him constantly in tears. Though this stranger talks a lot about being friends for years, and brings up old memories that Sebastian remembers vividly.  This stranger has also brought up his confusion with "how" he loves Sebastian.

He remembers one night sitting with Ominis at the boathouse, sebastian wanting a change of scenery and the undercroft needed cleaning. He remembers Ominis' voice shaking as he admitted it.

"Sometimes I get worried that I don't love you like a friend."

That memory is shoved into the box of things that keep Sebastian up at night. He doesn't like the thought of someone he barely knows loving him as he has convinced himself that he's unlovable because he will forget who his lover is and hurt them. He's too driven by his goals and can't afford to deal with relationships, besides his siblings bond with Anne.

His phases of changing can last from seconds to weeks. Completely changing personality is probably something to bring up to his loved ones, but he's never told anyone, not Anne, not Solomon, not even Ominis. His best friend, or whatever he is to him.

Sebastian squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath.

He sits up, rubbing his eyes, bringing himself back to who he thinks is his true self. He looks over to Ominis, peacefully asleep to ground himself. Slowly but surely the blood reaches his hands again and he feels human. His cruel thoughts disgust him and the thought of losing his love for Ominis scares him. He lays back down, clutching his pillow, hoping that whatever animal is in him is put down. He hopes it's put down softly as it's actions aren't on purpose, it's skittish and afraid, unsure of how strong it's jaws are. It's paws are all worn out from running and it hides it's thinning body from humans in hopes that they will leave it alone, like it wished happened years ago.

Sebastian's too afraid to picture the animal as he's afraid he'll fall back into it's brain or find out that it's just a mirror he's looking into.