Night came like the spell of an enchantress, water to stone, earth to iron, green grass to frosted white. There was no hint of warmth left, nothing of the autumn or the kiss of the vanquished sun. It had the type of coldness that would reach into their bones, as if their hearts were a door left open to the icy wind, slamming to only open again.

As they sat by the pathway which connected two buildings that was hardly been in used, Sanskaar looked too lost in a thousand of musings that ran in his mind without a pause as he stared at the floor aimlessly with Swara by his side, who sat along with him and spoke not a single word. It was surprising to know how both her bestfriends have the same habit of worrying themselves and get sick for others. 

Now that he had threw up, his ache still had not decreased. Not even a bit. Exhaustion has fully taken down his body and his mental health gave him no support as well.  His thoughts were turning more scarier than ever and Sanskaar could not get over nor shrug it away like he usually does, "What if she gives up?"

Swara shifted her gaze to Sanskaar as she heard him voice out his fear in raw vulnerability and it was enough to knock out the oxygen from her lungs but then she knew he needed an assurance, to hold on for a little longer for Asha, for himself and for her, "She wouldn't. People give up only when they want to do." Sanskaar shifted his gaze to Swara's who was already looking at him with soft eyes. She gently got his hands in hers, "They give up only because the reason they hold on to, no more holds them back."

They were the words told to her when she attended her first session for depression back then. Sanskaar shifted his gaze to the sky where he hardly saw a star or two due to the clouds that hid them. He couldn't help himself but question himself of whether his grandfather faced such situations when he was in death bed.

"Because they knew their possessions would be taken care of and they no more have to strain themselves to endure the pain they undergo. She'll be okay." Her words were enough to hit the deepest cord in his heart.  Swara did notice how his bloodshot eyes finally held tears he had been controlling finally, "She is not okay!" He said, "You have not been there that time Swara-- she was there inside and I-- I was alone-- I--" Sanskaar could no more continue his words as a huge lump formed in his throat and all his words were stolen by the truck of memories that hit him, he broke down.

Sanskaar had no one to hold him back then. He had no one tell about his problems, a shoulder to cry nor guide him when he was left in a tangled chaos and asked to solve. The ones whom he had thought to be his friends pushed him away and it took him so long to realise that he was nothing but a supplier and an unpaid teacher who helped them to pass. He could pass nights with tears drenching his pillows and days huging his grandmother for solace to keep him sane. At one point, Sanskaar stopped crying promising himself to never let his guards down for anyone and stay strong. He derived into conclusion that he had none for himself except for Asha and his grandfather who shall always remain to be his guiding star forever.

Sanskaar hid his face in his palms and had no more control over his emotions that he broke into soft sobs which later turned into heart piercing wails which was enough to rip any person's heart if heard. He was exhausted, shattered and broken too much, for he had stood like a pillar every damn time. The repeat trigger of incidences had completely drained his entire strength. All his unsaid words of anguish and agony slipped down in form of tears and every labourered breathe he took felt like taking gasps in a no oxygen surrounding. Sanskaar was afraid of being left all alone and just the thought was enough to kill him alive.

There was a tender grip that held his slumped shoulders but Sanskaar was too lost to get rid away of the pain that was eating him painfully and burning him slowly. Tears rested on her waterlines as she let him cry out his heart even though every wails of his shook her entire heart but then she knew she cannot falter at the moment. Sanskaar needs her and she would make sure to give all the comfort and assurance. She couldn't help herself but compare the agony Jay must have gone through every damn time when he saw her crumbled down with flooding tears, screaming silence and never spoken words.

"Dadi has so much to do, for her grandson and I'm sure she's going to give a tuff fight and end up as a survivor. Stop making yourself sick Sanskaar. She's not going to like it if she finds you cry and ill when she's up." Swara spoke in a low comforting voice and Sanskaar's wails had subsided too. He finally pulled away his palms but his gaze was still stuck on the floor as he finally wiped away his tears and sniffed before he looked up at the stars that shone effortlessly. Sanskaar was totally wasted but having Swara by his side truly helped him a lot.

Swara quickly wiped away the tears sneakily making sure he didn't see her cry, "She's going to be okay right?" She heard him say in hoarse tone and his swollen eyes mirrored the stars he kept staring at the night sky. Much to his surprise, his breakdown didn't let him loose thope and watching the hardly visible twinkling stars tonight somewhat let him hope-- as if each star were promising for a better tomorrow for him.

"She will be."

~

The dawn had finally arised and much to their relief the doctor informed that Asha's operation was successfully but requires complete rest and extra care regarding her health. Since everything was going smoothly, Sanskaar managed to persuade Swara to take her back home since she was almost awake last night though he dosed off in exhaustion as they awaited for the doctor. A dejected Swara finally had to accept her defeat but promised to come back in the evening to check upon Asha and him.

"I still can't believe how you managed to sit all night amidst the white corridors when the sight of hospitals makes you to run far away." Jay teased while Swara glared at him as they entered the hospital premises after their classes.

"That was only because of Sanskaar." She scrunched her nose the moment they entered inside the hospital as the strong smell of antiseptics and cleaners hit their nostrils hard. Jay laughed at her expressions and ruffled her hair.

Meanwhile inside the ward, Asha had already woke after a little nap she had after lunch. She had no idea of what happened to her that she suddenly felt the ache but she couldn't help but think about the struggles her little boy must have gone through for all the time she had been unconscious. The moment she regained her conscious, She was greeted by a teary eyed Sanskaar who engulfed her in a bear hug and Asha had to give him all the assurance, cojol him like a baby and make him laugh too.

The creaking sound of the door paused her reverie as she saw Swara who had a broad smile followed by another young boy.

"Dadi!!" Swara sequeled in happiness the moment she saw Asha looking much better but with tubes and IV drips attached to her and nasal cannula fixed  on her nose for breathing instead of oxygen mask. Though it instantly remembered about her mother, she quickly shrugged away her thoughts and hugged Asha.

"I'm fine sweetheart." Asha gave a pat on her cheek and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Swara then took her seat followed by Jay. Asha though didn't recognise who the boy was, but still smiled.

"Dadi, It's Jay." She introduced Jay to him and he greeted her warmly as he handed over the bouquet of flowers he got on the way, "The name Sanskaar keeps chattering after Swara is Jay." Asha said with a smile and Jay had his lips parted a little at that profound information. Sanskaar and himself was not so close as how he was with Swara, but the fact he had considered him close warmed his heart.

"Dadi, let me know what all he talks about me na?" Like a curious cat, Jay started enquiring and Swara chuckled at that. For the fact, he had always been one curious person especially when someone speaks about him.

"Dadi don't do it or else he's going to go all high and fly forgetting the ground." Swara made a comment while Jay rolled his eyes at her and pouted. Asha had a good laugh when their banters kept continuing and only then she understood why her dearest grandson at times feels envy about these two friends, ofcourse he was not verbal but his expressions do give hints. And the fact that Jay was very outrageous and funny, made Asha to quickly bond up with the boy.

"I can't laugh anymore." Asha managed to speak out in between her laugh and Swara too agreed with it. Swara was actually happy to see Asha laugh without any worries after a tiring day and was glad she brought Jay with her, for she always knew how the atmosphere turns light in Jay's presence.

"My bad! I had another good joke but then I have to hurry up to the ground, or else coach will make me stand outside for the entire day." Jay stood up. He actually repented for not meeting this old lady earlier, she was too good to be with. Jay quickly gave instructions for Swara to directly walk back after staying back and text him when she reaches, to which Swara rolled her eyes.

"Oh! I've forgot to tell you this. Shona! guess what, You won the first place for the recital." Her does eyes widened at that piece of information. Asha was definitely proud of girl. Jay had totally forgotten to let her know since Swara stayed back in the hospital. Swara's doe eyes widened up at the information, she had no idea how she even did the play, forget about bagging a prize for it.

"Congratulations!" The voice got everyone's attention while Sanskaar stood by the door with a smile.

"See you buddy." With a pat Jay left the place, promising himself to make sure to know how Sanskaar was doing after his practice.

Sanskaar walked in a fresh pair of clothes after having after having a quick bath and rushed back to the hospital but arrived a little late due to traffic. He was pleased to see Swara and Jay in his absence and that kind of soothed his pounding heart since he didn't know what was Asha doing without him.

"What's the hurry that you didn't even dry your hair?" Asha scowled while Sanskaar passed a boyish grin at her side. Swara could see his hair still stuck to his forehead in little tufts, he for sure looked fresh after his freshup but he looked tired and his eyes still held some hollowness within them.

"I thought you would be alone, so--" He traile d his words as he rubbed his nape. Sanskaar had completely lost his senses of time staying back at the hospital, he was totally unaware that it was about to be evening and Swara would come back.

"Sanskaar, pass me that." Asha hinted at something and Sanskaar, though was a little confused at first he quickly got the hint while Swara watched the non- verbal conversation happening between the grandmother and grandson, all addled.

Sanskaar handed over the small box to Asha who took it from him and fondly watched the box and then at Swara, "Open it." Asha passed the box and a confused Swara took the box and unwrapped it, only to find a soft navy blue cloth neatly folded and placed inside. She looked up to see Sanskaar and  Asha's eyes softening just by the sight of the cloth.

"This one-- it was used by my husband. He doesn't play piano often but whenever he does, he would use the cloth to brush away the dirt. I couldn't find more than a better gift when I heard about your recital." Asha's eyes turned moist and Sanskaar wrapped his arms under his chest, he was happy that the cloth was finally finding a new owner who would take care of it-- just like his old man did.

"I would guard it with all my life."  Swara had never felt so overwhelmed and important. She knew it would have taken so much courage to pass the cloth piece, for it contains so much reminiscence. The fact that she was handed over such a precious thing in her hands made her more self conscious. Swara was not sure if she was ever deserving to get such priceless thing for herself, it felt so big but then didn't oppose it.

"Visitor's time is over." The nurse informed them after noting down the readings from the machines that was connected to Asha. Swara and Asha shared a hug before they parted ways.

"Are you okay?" She asked as soon as they were out of the ward. Sanskaar wasn't sure himself if he was doing good, sometimes he wanted to do nothing but cry his heart out and sometimes he wanted to keep himself engaged with work in such away until he no more feels pain.

"I'll be." Sanskaar said with a weary smile. Even if not for now, he was sure about getting back to his self sooner even if that's not going to be today.

"How were you able to pay for the treatment yesterday?" Swara directed the question that kept bugging her mind for so long. She's got no idea of how he even managed to pay on time.

"I sanctioned the money from the bank-- after dada's death he had a will asking to keep dadi and myself as his nominee and all his valuables should be transferred in our names." Sanskaar answered in a low tone and sighed as he completed the sentence. He hated the fact that he was a nominee too and it was one of the reason why he started earning for himself and hardly used the cash unless any urgency.

"You'll always remember I can render you help right?" Swara didn't want to exaggerate the words nor show off her wealth and moreover she didn't want Sanskaar to take her in a wrong way.

Sensing her hesitation he chuckled a little and took her hands in his, "I know but I have my own set of principles for myself that I want to follow all my life, Swara and I can't break them right?" Not trying to do something by himself before asking help to others was totally against his values. It was one of the traits Sanskaar learnt from his grandparents and he ought to follow it no matter what.

"But asking help is nothing wrong Sanskaar." Swara pouted. Sometimes Sanskaar was much more stubborn at certain matters that she herself couldn't help but wonder if she was ever stubborn like that as everyone told. Now that she seeing a demo, convincing seems so hard.

"It isn't Swara. But then if you want to help me, just stand by my side and hold my hands when I'm about to fall. That's all I would ever ask for." That was one thing he always craved to have for. The fact that he was depending upon Swara too raised a fear in him and it echoed in his mind, what if she leaves too?

"Do you even need to ask that from me? I'm always here." She threw her arms around his neck and hugged Sanskaar who was bewildered at the sudden action but then gave in for the hug.

Swara was herself surprised for what she had been doing but then it just happened. Her cheeks warmed up and she had no idea what was the unknown feelings that ignite in his presence. Sanskaar felt a soothing comfort seep into his bones, fuzzy feeling warmed up as his heart skipped a beat. The emotion was overwhelming that it gave a silent  assurance for a broken heart and a relaxing summer after days of heavy storming rain but then this nameless feeling left the two too confused. Shrugging away those thoughts they enjoyed the moment wholeheartedly aware of the fact that these emotions cannot be swept away easily like they thought while the Sun slowly hid behind the clouds leaving several tints on the sky to radiate its light for a little longer making sure to exhibit it's beauty and soothe the heart of the spectators before the darkness take away those beautiful shades.

☆ At the end of the day, raw and unfiltered version of yourself is what that defines you-- the REAL YOU! Don't let it fade in your mask of facade.☆

Mm.. I hate to do this but then I again missed two weeks of my weekly update schedule. I was too indulged with other college works that I couldn't complete it. Though all I do is ask for excuse every damn time, I'm trying my best. For the people who's holding on and patiently waiting for the updates, I can never stop expressing my gratitude towards you'll 😭❤️

See you'll next week, pakka!

Love,
Diya ❤️