Sorry for the long wait. Only two more chapters! I promise to update as soon as I can.

Song: To Die For by Sam Smith

.....

When I woke up in the hospital, I saw Eve and Nancy each sitting by my bedside. Behind them was Lily, Adam, Nick, Patty, and my mom, who sat around the room. They all appeared fatigued like they haven't slept for hours.

"Ally! Oh you're finally awake!" Eve cried, her eyes red and puffy. The others soon noticed and crowded around the bed with relieved expressions.

I slowly peered around the room for the face I was hopeful to see, but he wasn't among them. I tried to move up and noticed an IV line hooked up to my right hand.

"Henry, where's Henry?" I asked in a hoarse voice. It felt like my lungs were tied down with sand bags, making it hard to speak.

All their faces turned away from me to each other or to the ground or the ceiling, as if deciding among themselves through the silence who would be the one to answer my question.

"Tell me where he is," I pleaded. I didn't want to tear up or have my voice crack, but I couldn't help myself when my eyes were starting to water already and my voice wavering. "Please, would somebody just tell me where my husband is?"

I looked from one person to the next, waiting for someone to speak up. The deafening silence among them already hinted at the answer.

"Ally ..." Nancy started, grabbing a hold of my hand. She sniffled. "Dear, you have to strong now for what I'm going to tell you, okay?"

I sat upright on the bed as my mother helped me up. My whole body writhed with a dull pain from my head to my toes. "What happened?"

"Henry ... he ... he never made it out of the house, honey." I looked at Nancy, divulging and mulling over each one of her words. "I'm so sorry..." The redness grew on everyone's eyes as Nancy continued. "When the firemen could get inside, there wasn't nothing left to save. They believe that ... Henry burned to death."

"That can't be true." I shook my head. "I don't believe that Henry is dead ... he can't have d..." I couldn't get the rest of the word that I feared out of my lips. "He's just ... somewhere waiting for me .... I need to go find him."

"Ally, honey ... I know this hard for you to accept, but it is what it is," Eve said.

I peered down and covered my stomach with my hands, crying to myself, thinking about Henry and our baby, how I was going to carry on. "Henry's not dead. He couldn't. There's nothing to prove that he died." Tears fell freely from my eyes without trying, one after another. "I don't believe it at all."

"It's the truth, Ally."

I closed my eyes and tears fell down freely.

My mother stood up and pulled me in her arms. "We're all here for you, honey. Let us know if we can do anything to ease your pain in the slightest way we can. We know how much you are hurting right now."

I wrapped my arms around her, weeping my heart out in her chest as she held me tightly. This couldn't be happening. It was just some nightmare I couldn't wake up from.

Later in the night, a wake was held for Henry by my friends and family at Patty's home, but I stayed back. Attending it would mean letting Henry go, and I wasn't prepared to do that just yet.

But in reality, I didn't think I would ever be prepared.

For the next few days in the hospital, I couldn't stop myself from crying every time the thought of Henry being gone from my life drifted into my mind. It was a train striking me head on over and over again.

The tears spilled out spontaneously as I looked endlessly at the windows of Chicago downtown. From my room, I could see Pearce Hotel and Resort in the distance, the sight of it felt desolate and somber.

I could only imagined Henry being on the top floor in his office, working as if it was any usual Friday. I would be at home, waiting for him to come through the doors and we'd go to dinner at some place he'd think I would love. And then, he'd take me away to some beautiful place for the weekend or we'd stayed home and do nothing all day.

Just thinking about it felt like a thousand knives pricking inside of me, tearing me each vein at a time.

.....

A few days before I was released from the hospital,  Victoria visited me. She apologized for what Evelyn did and told me that her sister was checked into a mental institution for rehab and currently awaiting trial.

But that wasn't enough to reverse the pain in my heart. I didn't think anything in this world could mend my sickness.

After Victoria's visit, it was the police and detectives' turn. They all gave me the same story about what might have happened to Henry. All they said was that my husband's body couldn't be found anywhere among the wreckage, but through forensics evidence, they believed he perished in the house when it collapsed and his body destroyed to ash in the fire.

Speaking to the authorities and explaining everything that happened that day made all the memories rushed back to me tenfolds. It was agonizing to be reliving those seconds again, especially the moment Henry laid in my arms bleeding, and I couldn't save him.

I must have cried a liter of tears up until now if I had to guessed.

I knew it wasn't good for my pregnancy, and I understood my family and friends were worrying about me, but I couldn't hold the emotions breaking out of from within the marrow of my heart, of my soul.

I thought I felt all the pain there is to feel in life, but I was wrong ... yet again. This feeling of torture and suffering without Henry by my side was the worst I had ever felt. Taking a toll of me in every way possible, mentally and physically.

But I still believe that Henry is still alive. My heart told me. I knew it sounded crazy, but I believed he was out there ... somewhere ... waiting for me.

When I made a full recovery within a week of the fire, Nick brought me back to the burned house after I checked out of the hospital.

Everybody was against the idea. They were afraid it would be bad for my condition, being that I just got better, but Nick stood up for me. He understood if I didn't see it, my mind wouldn't be at peace. He saw that I needed some kind of closure, whatever that could be.

Nick pulled the car up to the gates of my old property, which now had yellow tape secured around the crime scene.

A lump grew in my throat. I took a deep breath and removed my seat belt, ready to step out of the car.

"Ally, I don't think it's safe to go out there," Nick spoke.

"It's okay, Nick. I just wanted to take a look around. I'll be fine. I promise."

"Alright," Nick consented.

I stepped out of the vehicle and walked over to the locked gate.

My fingers clung onto the cold metal bars as I stared at the destructed and barren scene of what was once Henry and my house, a home we finally began building together through our broken pasts, only to be destroyed by fire and smoke.

Now, there was nothing left but piles of burned wood and ash billowing through the wind. Everything of Henry's family possessions in the house disintegrated.

Nick placed his a hand on my shoulder. "Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Anything, Ally. What is it?"

"I need a list."

"I'd get right on it," he said, as if reading my mind.

"Thank you."

"Ally, I think we should go now. Its almost time for the reading of the will."

I turned around to him, and I nodded. I took one last glance at the ruins before stepping back inside the car.

.....

Loving Henry was like breathing air and drinking water. And now that he was gone, it felt like a fundamental part of my existence was missing.

Sometimes people aren't sick from the body or mind, but from the heart—the part of us that can be bruised and broken countless times over the course of a lifetime, but still managed to beat on somehow.

The next few weeks were excruciating, but that was still an understatement. Every second without Henry was unbearable, and trying not to think about him was like learning to undo the footsteps left behind on a snow-covered path.

It was impossible.

The thought of Henry was ever present on my mind.

Some days it was faint and small, like a whisper in the dark.

And on other days, it was insufferable like nails screeching across a chalkboard.

But nevertheless, Henry was always on my mind, even if I wasn't thinking about him.

Every day, every hour, every minute.

Through every heart beat.

Every night when I went to sleep, I prayed to some higher power, if there was one out there in the universe, that when I opened my eyes the next morning, I would find Henry soundlessly asleep next to me.

But every morning that I woke up, the place by my side was empty. And when I remembered that he wasn't here with me, I curled into a ball in bed and cried all over again.

It was an endless and hopeless repeating cycle.

Henry left me everything in the will, everything he owned—the corporation, his estates, his investments. The list went on and on.

But I didn't want anything of those things. I didn't want the money, the houses and or cars, nor any of stocks and bonds.

I only wanted him back.

And I knew nothing on this earth could replace Henry.

I needed to find him.

I needed to go back in time and traced our steps in order to find him.

And I trusted that thought. Even though I didn't know the truth, it was the only sliver of hope I was holding onto right now—that there was a mere hope of Henry being alive.

Because I believed our paths were destined to cross, that we we were destined to be together in this lifetime.

I went everywhere Henry and I had ever been—every place in Chicago I could remember. The Signature Lounge. Alineas. Buckingham Fountain. The house he took me to for my 24th birthday. The top of Pearce Hotel and Resort ...

But he wasn't there.

The hours and days dragged by slowly and piercingly within as I tried to find that face I longed for.

I grew tired and anxious as days went by.

I felt like quitting, but every time I was about to surrender, there was an ounce of hope that I'd get to see Henry the next day or the day after that.

I believed he was out there somewhere in the world. Something in my heart kept reminding me.

On Henry's would be 31st birthday, September 21st, I flew out to the country to Annecy and Vienna, hoping I'd find him there. Everyone thought I was going crazy and that I wasn't going to find what I was looking for, but I insisted on going anyway.

For the next few days, I stayed at the same lodgings Henry and I stayed before, ate at the same restaurants we ate at, walked down the same paths we walked on.

But like my continual luck, I didn't find him. I returned back to home to Chicago, my faith dwindling down to almost nothing.

When October arrived, the house was finally completed. With Nick's help, we sought out all the contractors in Illinois for anyone who can rebuild the house in under a two month schedule. I drew up a blueprint of the house as much as I could remember with a couple new additions I thought Henry would like, if he was here with me.

The heated-Koi pond was replaced new as well, since I knew how much Henry loved it. All our fish didn't make it, so I had new ones put into the pond, especially one similar to Henry's favorite one.

Walking through our home for the first time after it burned down evoked a bittersweet feeling in me. I checked out the original and new rooms.

I could picture Nana cooking in her kitchen when I walked into the new one. I could also imagined Henry working in his office when I opened the door.

I moved into the new house after a week of it being completed and furnished. The feeling was lonely, but being home again brought some joy to me.

But if I thought about it, I wasn't really alone. I had our baby growing inside me.

The next good thing was my brother. Henry already had directed his attorney to take care of Chris' case the moment he found out about my brother's innocence. In the next few weeks, my brother was going to be released from prison, just in time for the holidays.

Everything was beginning to fall together, with the exception of one thing.

If Henry was here, everything would be complete.

It would all be perfect.

There was only one place left I wanted to go, but I knew if I didn't find him there, that was it.

That was the end.

And so I became afraid. I wasn't ready to let him go yet.

.....

October 17th

I sat in bed, staring at the pictures I took of Henry and I of the short time we had together.

I missed him so much.

Every time I thought about him, my heart ached so much.

I placed a hand on my belly. "Don't worry, little one. Daddy's out there somewhere. Trust Mommy. We just have to wait for him."

My phone buzzed on the nightstand.

"Hello, Nick."

"Sorry for the late call, Ally. It's urgent."

"Don't worry. I wasn't asleep yet. What do you have to tell me?"

"Can you meet me tomorrow morning at Horizon around noon? I can't tell you anything else, only that's important."

"Okay, I'll meet you there."

I bade Nick good night and hung up the phone.

My mind stirred with the possibilities of what the meeting was going to be about, but I reminded myself not to get excited. After all, Nick hadn't told me anything.

I covered myself with the duvet and laid in bed, staring at Henry's empty bedside until I drifted to sleep.

The next morning I headed over to Horizon and arrived a few minutes before noon. Nick was sitting at the usual cafe where we used to chat.

"Hey, Nick." I managed a smile as I sat down on the chair across from him. "How are you?"

"Hey, Ally. Doing good. Would you like something to drink?"

"No, I'm good."

Nick took a white envelope from within his blazer and slid it across the table to me.

I stared at the envelope on the table and up at Nick, confused. The letter was addressed to me with no name. "Who is it from?"

Was it from Henry? I thought.

"Open it and you'll find out," Nick said.

Hesitantly, I reached for the envelope and looked at Nick. He nodded, urging me on.

I opened the envelope and took out the handwritten letter.

"Ally, I know my words and actions will never be enough to undo the pain I've caused you and your family over the years you lost with each other, especially your brother Chris. All my life, I've never done anything good or useful for those who loved me. I've never been the father I should have been or the good husband I should be. I've done terrible things with my life, and I want to make things right for once. As you read this, I'll be turning myself into the authorities. Please tell my daughter and wife I'm sorry for never being there for them, for the hurt I've cause. Please tell them I loved them very much. I apologize for everything again ... But I do want you to leave you with something important."

My hands began trembling as I paused. I peered up quickly at Nick who had a smile on his face before continuing to read.

"I hoped this piece of information may be able to bring joy and solace in your and your baby's life again ... Henry is alive and he's waiting for you. Sincerely, D."