Chapter 47: Talks About the Future

Karai and Shinigami have really put in the work on their new dojo. Not only is there a new sign above the door, proudly proclaiming "Hamato Dojo and Ninjutsu Academy," but they've laid down new training and tatami mats, cleared out every bit of dust and dirt from every nook and cranny, and even done some extra decorating. There's a giant poster of the Great Wave Off Kanagawa taking up most of the wall in the main dojo area, plus plenty of scrolls displaying kanji that read "Power" and "Discipline" and "Spirituality" among others.

They've gathered in the main dojo, as it has the most space for the number of people in the room plus the snack table laden with bowls of chips, trays of sushi and charcuterie boards, and punch. There's music playing from a set of speakers, Karai's phone plugged in and playing a decent mix of pop and EDM with a bit of punk thrown in.

"Sensei? Reeeeally?" Karai asks. She stretches the second word, eyebrow lifted.

"You're surprised?" Leonardo asks.

"Not at all. You've always been Splinter's golden boy," she says, waving her hand at him. She glances out at the dance floor, where Michelangelo and Shinigami are busting out their best moves, egged on by Annalise, Casey, and April. "Maybe you'll have to come in and teach a few extra lessons. Get some practice for the future. I'd pay you, of course."

His eye-ridges lift. "Really?"

Her ruby red lips curl into a smirk, the same devilish expression that's never gone away even with her turn to the bright side. "You're surprised?" she echoes.

He bumps his shoulder against hers. "Stop." She takes a sip of punch, still smirking, and he adds, "I guess I'm still getting used to the idea of being a real teacher. Even with Des, it always felt like I was training too."

"Oh, I get it. This dojo...it's a big step, and being a teacher is too. I might need to ask father for some advice myself," Karai says. "If I'm bringing new honour to the Foot Clan, I'll need it. It won't be easy to do away with Oroku Saki forever."

Hearing Shredder's name makes Leonardo's smile fall. He thinks of the fears that still plague him and goosebumps prickle his skin. Part of him wonders why others aren't more concerned as to why Splinter has decided to bring all this on now—maybe they've assumed it's just how things go. Splinter is getting older, after all, and he deserves to relax as much as any of them.

But Leonardo can't shake the dread breathing down his neck, gripping his shoulders, whispering that they can never be truly safe.

He shakes his head. He has to stop stressing over nothing but old fears.

"I'm sure he'd love to help," he says. "And...I'd like to help you too, with the teaching thing. I'd like that."

"Perfect. Always glad to have you on the team, Leo."

----------

"I think we should look into some extra research."

Sarina lifts her brows at Donatello over the lip of her red plastic cup. "What kind of research?"

"Biological." Her eyes light up, literally and metaphorically, and his cheeks darken. "N-Not like that, but...okay, sort of like that."

"You've intrigued me, Donatello."

"You know that time traveller we mentioned? Renet?"

"Indeed."

"She mentioned children, as you know." Again, she nods, and he starts to wave his hands a bit as he speaks. "See, she didn't say anything specific—just 'your children.' I've been wondering more and more lately about who those children are, and where they could come from."

She's already following his train of thought. He can see it in those bright intelligent eyes of hers, and yet she just takes another sip of her drink. "So what would you propose we do about that?"

"Maybe we can start some extra experiments. Maybe we can take some blood samples, test the haploid numbers. Destiny's file says the Kraang already tested her for hybridization, and she's fertile, so there's a good chance other mutants are too. We could test to see if...if we're compatible, genetically."

"That seems like a worthwhile experiment, although I worry about obtaining the ovums needed to test such a thing."

"We'll figure something out, right? There's no rush on this."

She tilts her head at him, a single strand of pure white hair drifting across her slender features. "Do you want to be a father someday, Donatello?"

Her words make his mouth go dry. In truth, while the thought has crossed his mind, he just never thought it would be possible. It still might not be. He had always assumed that the only way he'd ever have kids would be if he happened to meet another female mutant turtle. So, he never allowed himself to dream of such things and focused on what was real, palpable.

On the flip side, his own insecurities are another roadblock, and where there are thoughts of children, sex follows. He's still a virgin. Sarina has been very clear that she desires more than the make-outs and heavy petting that they've engaged in, although she has never pushed him to do anything he doesn't want and, ever since Destiny's heat, she's stayed pretty quiet on the matter.

It's not because she isn't beautiful, that she doesn't turn him on intellectually or physically, but the many other factors that cloud his thoughts and make him so nervous that he shuts down. At first, it was a fear of simply being physically incompatible. He knows now that the act is completely possible and yet the fear of messing it all up remains, that he'll leave her unsatisfied.

But her question isn't about that, and he realizes that she's still watching him expectantly.

"Donatello?" she repeats.

He blinks, shaking himself from his thoughts. "I...I do, I just never let myself imagine it."

"I can understand that." She smiles softly. "I, too, never imagined I would get the chance to be a mother. Of course, I didn't even know what love was before I met you, and I definitely wasn't thinking about reproducing while I was a Kraang subject. I often wonder whether the Kraang would have forced breeding on me once I became too old or worn out for their use."

He never thought about that and, even now, her words make his stomach twist. He doesn't like to think about what the Kraang put her through—it makes him far too angry, and it seems like a useless rage to cling to anyway. The Kraang are gone and if they ever dare to return, he'd keep them away from her or die trying.

"I would like to be a mother," she says. "My life truly began when you brought me into your family, and nothing would make me happier than to see that family grow."

His heart squeezes. "That's...I like that. I like your thinking."

"Then we are in agreement. Perfect. The debacle of having kids or staying child-free should be considered a dealbreaker in any relationship."

"Well, good thing we talked about it now before we got too serious."

Her eyes flash and she smiles in a teasing, sarcastic way. "Oh, very much."

How is it that he's only known her for a tiny fraction of his life, and yet it's like he's known her forever? Maybe that's just what having a soulmate is like.

"I love you so much," he sighs.

Her cheeks flush a lovely shade of pink. "Aw, I love you too."

----------

"So Leo's gonna take over for Splinter? That's wild," Annalise says.

Michelangelo nods, still shimmying his shoulders. The two of them dance close together, moving just enough that they can have a conversation without getting too out of breath. It amounts to them mostly bopping in place, bouncing, scooting their feet to and fro, and wiggling their shoulders.

"Right? And we're moving up to the tenth dan, so we'll basically be masters. Just gotta pass all the five levels."

"Dan? Levels?"

"Ninjutsu stuff, cupcake." He winks at her, still smiling.

She sways her hips a bit to the music as she nods. "Oh. Like a black belt?"

"Close enough!"

She smiles at him and his whole body gets all warm and fuzzy. She's like his own personal ball of sunshine, warming him up, pumping him full of happy chemicals. When he looks at her, he imagines waking up to her every morning, staying by her side as they both get old and grey, and loving every new wrinkle that marks her skin.

"Are you excited to have kids?" he asks.

Her eyes widen. "Um...what? Where the heck did that come from?"

He bobs his head to the side as he scoots left, then right. "Just thinking. Dad wants Leo to teach our kids in the future."

"You...you think we'll have kids?"

He stops dancing, his smile remaining despite getting more confused. "Sure! Renet said so!"

"Who's Renet?" She also stops dancing, her smile fading into a concerned, slightly fearful frown.

"She's a time traveller. Me and my bros are super famous in the future."

"Time..." She blinks, then shakes her head. "I...I need to sit down."

Annalise turns and walks off the dance floor, headed for the punch bowl. Michelangelo's brow furrows in concern and he follows her as she reaches the snack table, refilling her cup with a healthy dose of red, fizzy, fruity punch.

"Sorry, Lisey," he says. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry, just..." She takes a sip of her drink, then a deep breath. "First you hit me with a kids comment and then something about a time travelling chick? When did you, um..."

"She came around before we met," Michelangelo promises. He grins. "She actually told me about you! I kinda had a crush on her but she's obviously from the future, so it was never gonna work, and she told me that I was gonna be really happy with someone and that I had to wait for her!"

Annalise gawks at him, her face getting flushed again. "You're...you're still overloading me with info, Mike."

He blinks. "Oh. Sorry, dudette."

She clears her throat, gripping her cup tight. "So time travel is real?"

"I guess so! Renet's an assistant Time Master. I think their job is to make sure the universe doesn't fall apart with people trying to use time travel to change things that need to happen. Like time police! That's just a guess."

"Gotcha...and the kids thing?"

"When we met Renet, she said she could prove she was a time traveller by naming our children, but that she didn't want to mess anything up."

"Ah, okay."

She looks away, the tips of her ears still red enough that it almost matches her punch cup. He leans closer to her, eyes bright.

"So, are you excited?"

She squirms a little. "I...I wouldn't say that."

"Why?"

"Honestly, the idea of childbirth scares the crap out of me." She looks at her drink, eyes still rampant with unspoken thoughts. "This Renet girl really said we'd have kids?"

"She kinda just said generally, like...she didn't specify if it was mine or Leo's or—" He stops, forcing himself not to start rambling again. "But I totally want to have kids! What if we had like, eight, and then we had our own little donut army?"

She chokes on air. "Eight?!"

"Or nine! Or ten!"

She shakes her head adamantly. "Absolutely not."

"Aw, really? But I'd be the stay-at-home dad, so you can still be an awesome girl-boss engineer mom and I'll raise the tiny army!"

"Easy enough for you to say. You're not the one pushing them out!" she retorts. "Or trying to support that many kids on a single salary."

He blinks. "Oh. Yeah. Raising kids costs money."

She groans as she drops her head into her hands. "Mikey...I love you, but sometimes your mind baffles me."

"I'm a little sheltered. I did stay underground for the first fifteen years of my life. That's basically like living under a rock."

"That's true..."

They stand in silence for a second and Michelangelo rubs the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry, Lise," he says. "I think I'm just...excited for the future with you. I came on a little too strong there." She smiles a little, but her gaze is still anxious, and he offers her a soft smile in return. "Do you want kids at all?"

"Well..." She thinks a bit. "Maybe one, and I'd want to wait a while. I want to finish school and get a job."

"One? Really?"

She shrugs. "I'm an only child. My mom always worked hard to keep food on the table, but I never had to vie for her attention when she wasn't busy. I guess...I just want to be able to dedicate my time and energy to one kid, spoil them a little."

"And the childbirth thing on top of that."

"Yeah, once is scary enough." He nods a little and she shrinks into herself. "Is...is that okay with you? Maybe I'll feel differently when I'm older but no promises."

He looks at her for another second before he grins, shaking his head. "Yeah, I'm good. Renet said children, so that means our kiddo's probably gonna have at least one cousin to hang out with. I'll just be the best uncle ever."

She visibly relaxes. "You're sure?"

"Totally!"

She sighs as she takes another sip of punch. He steps a little closer to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to the side of her forehead. Her eyes close, her nose wrinkling in a cute way as she smiles, and yet again, his heart is all warm.

Honestly, even if she decided one kid would be too many, he'd find a way to be okay with it. After all, she's everything he's ever dreamed of. What turtle could ask for more?

----------

"You look like you've seen a ghost, chica," Taylor quips.

Annalise shakes her head and dons a faint smile. "Oh, Mikey just brought up some stuff, caught me off guard. It's all good."

Taylor raises an eyebrow and glances out at the dance floor. The turtles and Casey are currently locked in a dance battle, egging each other on. Karai and Shinigami stepped out—Karai got a call about something and Shinigami followed her out.

"Bet you can't match these moves, Mike!" Casey taunts.

"Oh, you wish, dude!" Michelangelo retorts.

Meanwhile, Annalise has joined Taylor, April, Destiny, and Sarina against the wall, joining in on the light conversation.

"Stuff?" Destiny asks, a curious glint in her eye. "What kinda stuff?"

"Nothing, nothing. Seriously," Annalise insists. She glances down at the punch in her cup, cheeks red.

"Ay," Taylor murmurs. "Alright, keep your secrets."

April elbows her lightly. "Leave her be," she chides.

Annalise looks up from her drink. "Do...do the guys have...like, exes?"

She finds four pairs of eyes staring at her, wide. A few looks are shared.

"Not that I know of," Destiny says slowly, her ears flattening a little. "Why?"

Annalise sighs. "Uh, it's—"

"Nothing?" Sarina asks. When Annalise's lips purse, her eyes flash. "It must be more than nothing if it is weighing on you."

"Mikey...mentioned he had a crush on this girl, Renet? I mean, I know that doesn't make her an ex but, like—" She shakes her head, groaning. "I don't know."

"I mean..." April starts, fiddling with her fingers as her expression grows awkward. "They've had crushes on others, but dating?"

"Definitely not," Sarina agrees.

"Raph had a crush on someone?" Taylor asks.

"No, not him. Leo, Donnie, and Mikey...yes," Sarina corrects.

"If you're worried, don't be," Destiny says, focusing on Annalise again. "Mikey loves big, and he loves you. Renet isn't a threat."

Annalise flushes again. "I didn't...I didn't think she was a threat! I...I think it's more that's the first time I've heard of her, and he started asking about kids, and it just..."

"Oh, you were also discussing children? Seems to be the hot topic tonight," Sarina says.

"Ay, you're not even done high school. Little soon to be thinking of that, huh?" Taylor asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

Annalise nods. "I guess...it just hit me that he really does see a future together, and there's so much we haven't talked about. I think I got a little scared." She sighs. "I mean, I love him. I do. More than anything. But..."

Her expression falters, stuck between desperation and guilt in a confusing miasma. Her gaze darts nervously to Destiny, then Sarina.

April's eyes narrow a little, brain tingling. "But he's a mutant?" she asks.

Annalise looks away, trying to cover her face even though one hand still clutches her cup. "Oh, don't say it like that, that...that makes it sound like I wish he was human or something," she says, almost whining.

"You don't?" Destiny asks. Her tone is even, betraying nothing.

"It's just...readjusting my expectations. He...he talked about having kids like it would be easy and there's this part of my brain going, 'Kids? Girl, he's a turtle! How?!' And I just...don't think it's possible. Like I barely pictured having kids with a human dude one day but now..." Again, she lets out a droning whine, almost a whimper. "Then I just feel...awful for having these fears about it, like...like he won't be happy with me forever, or I won't be happy with him."

"I mean, it's a reasonable fear," Destiny says with a shrug. "Being a mutant isn't easy, and Mikey knows he's not a human. He's not stupid." She leans a little closer to Annalise, eyes narrowing as she lowers her voice. "But you need to be honest with him about your fears, because he is never going to stop being a turtle, and you have to be okay with that."

Annalise swallows, but nods.

"Maybe talk to Raph," Taylor suggests. Annalise blinks at her. "He's told me that he worries he won't be enough for me, that I'll resent him for not being human. I've accepted that my attraction to him is pretty weird for most people, but hey—" She shrugs. "I really don't give a fuck, because I love him, and I want to be with him. He has the same fears as you, but...from the turtle side of things."

"If anything," Sarina says, nodding to Taylor, "he could help you breach the topic with Michelangelo. Even then, knowing Michelangelo, he would love to talk to you about it, to comfort you. You just have to be brave enough to open the conversation."

"And, in the end," April adds, "you're still pretty much a kid. You've got a long way to go before your own kids come into the picture, so...don't spend too much time dwelling on it. It's not good for your mental health."

Annalise takes a long, deep breath. "Yeah, you guys are right," she says. "I get so anxious sometimes that..." She exhales. "Yeah. But thanks for talking to me about it."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Taylor asks, bumping their shoulders together.

Destiny's tail lashes, gaze moving back to the dance battle. "Donnie was talking about kids too, huh?" she asks.

Sarina nods. "Oh, yes. We intend to do some fertility experiments, test whether it's biologically possible for children to occur. I'm very excited."

"What kind of experiments?" Taylor asks, her voice slow and teasing. Her eyebrow lifts. "The sexy kind?"

April snorts into her palm and Sarina lifts her chin, poised as ever. "Unfortunately, that likely won't be part of the proceedings. Donatello has—" She pauses, her eyes flashing. "Oh, no, wait, that is a private matter. I must keep that between us. Donatello has said I am too open about intimate topics."

"Aw, you're learning," Destiny muses, patting her friend's shoulder.

"I am always learning, as are we all."

Taylor throws back the rest of her drink, letting out a long "ah" as she finishes. "Alright. I don't know about you, but I'm about ready to show those turtles how to really shake your culo!"

Destiny grins. "Oh, I'm in!"

The two of them rush out to join the turtles, leaving Sarina, April, and Annalise as spectators.

----------

The night winds down and everyone heads home.

April sits on the back of Casey's bike, effortlessly following the sway as he maneuvers it down the sidewalk. She feels tired, but in a good way—the kind of tired you feel after a fun time spent with your favourite people.

Then, adding to it all, she's graduating high school in only a short while, and then it's college and internships and the whole future stretching out in front of her.

She thinks of Annalise and the anxiety in her eyes as she talked about children, and her mouth gets dry. She couldn't voice her own feelings there—it would have brought everyone down. It's easier to comfort Annalise when her fears are so reasonable: she's still a teenager, she has plenty of time to think about what she wants, and her boyfriend is a turtle mutant who probably couldn't get her pregnant even if he wanted to.

April doesn't think her fears make as much sense, and yet they're hers all the same. She still wakes in the middle of the night sometimes, plagued by images of the Kraang, of the monster that masqueraded as her mother at the farmhouse. What if...if or when April has a child...

She glances at the back of Casey's head. He's beatboxing to himself as they ride. "Boots-and-cats-and-boots-and—owwa, owwa, Casey Jones."  Repeat. She smiles a little, but it fades quickly.

Looking at him, her worries switch to him. She's seen his grades and there's a good chance he won't be receiving his diploma with everyone else. His math marks are way too low, and his science barely passes. Every day, he gets older and yet he doesn't seem to care about leaving high school.

Maybe it's because the end of high school marks the start of adulthood, and Casey...Casey's a free bird. It's harder to be free when adult responsibilities creep in.

She wonders if he'll be okay if she's not around, walking the halls, reminding him about homework. Yeah, Taylor and Annalise will still be there, along with his sister, but what about a year from now? What if he never grows up?

She loves him. She loves his stupid jokes, his energy, how he cares so fiercely for his friends and family. She knows that, so long as he's around, she has someone who'll always watch her back and bash anything that gets too close. In him, she found camaraderie that no other human could match, even after Taylor and Annalise came into their circle.

She loves him and everything he is, but...she doesn't know. Maybe it's just graduation looming that's making her head go all squirrelly?

"What's on your mind, Red?" Casey asks.

She blinks. "Oh, just...thinking."

He makes a non-committal noise. Her apartment is approaching. Her dad's probably waiting by the window, one finger ready and hooked around the perpetually-closed curtains. She leans against Casey's back, closing her eyes, letting that psychic tingle that's always lingering in her head focus on his heartbeat.

Nights like these, she wishes they could just ride around forever and not worry about tomorrow. Adulthood feels so scary, even though she feels like she's been forced to act like an adult since she was fifteen.

Casey slows to a stop as they reach the steps and April hops off the back of the bike. Her muscles stretch, feeling returning to the backs of her thighs, numb from the long ride. She hooks her bag over her shoulder and moves around to face Casey as he leans back, smirking at her. She tries to smile at him, but it must look sad.

"Aw, don't look at me like that, April," he sighs. "Look, I know. I slipped up this year. I'm gonna make it up, do better, and this'll be the last time Casey Jones gets held back."

She leans onto one hip. "You know if I'm focused on college, I won't be around to babysit you."

"I know, and you shouldn't have to. I'm gonna try, Red. I promise."

Okay, maybe he's grown up a little more than she's given him credit for. She tucks some hair behind her ear, pursing her lips for a second. "I just don't want you to get left behind."

"Casey Jones getting left behind? As if. I'm too awesome for that."

She smirks. "Okay, Jones." She leans in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You know I love you. A lot, right?"

For a second, he gazes at her, and then his face stretches into that gappy, sarcastic grin of his. "Ooo, do you have a crush on me or something?" She lightly punches his arm and he busts out laughing at the flush on her cheeks. "Love you too, Red. I'll see you tomorrow."

She heads up the steps, keys jingling as she lets herself into her building. She pokes her head back out, just enough to watch Casey riding off down the street.

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