"Hi, baby," Josh grinned as his husband jumped into his lap.

"Hi Jishwa," Tyler grinned.

Josh ran his hands up and down Tyler's thighs, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Why're your legs so smooth?"

"Ruby wanted to know how to shave her legs."

"You couldn't have just told her instead of showing her?" Josh chuckled.

Tyler shrugged. "Eh. I kinda like 'em shaved. Feels smexier."

"Well in that case," Josh smirked, his hands rubbing Tyler's inner thighs.

Tyler smiled and leaned downward, beginning to kiss at Josh's neck.

And soon, both boys were naked, Josh thrusting in and out of Tyler.

"Dad?" They suddenly heard. "Where're the band aids? I'm bleeding."

Their eyes widened, as did Ruby's.

"EW! OH MY GOD! EW!" She screamed running out of the room.

"Ohhhhhhh my God," Tyler said in panic. "Oh my god oh my god oh my god. What do we do?"

"Fuck," Josh said. "I don't know."

"D-do I.... do I go talk to her?"

"I-I mean, I can, i-if you want," Josh said.

Tyler shook his head. "I-I'll um... I'll do it."

He got out of bed, put on his boxers, gym shorts, and a t-shirt. He grabbed the box of band-aids from his and Josh's bathroom before slowly making the trip to his daughter's room.

"U-um... R-Ruby?" He asked as he knocked on the door. "C-can I come in?"

He didn't hear a response, so he didn't go in.

"U-um... o-ok," Tyler said. "I-I'm just gonna leave the band aids right outside your door. C-come talk to us if you want."

He then went back to his bedroom, shrugging.

"No luck?" Josh asked.

Tyler shook his head. "Nope. No response."

"K, so I'm reading this article on what to do if your teen walks in on you and it says we need to stay 'sex positive,'" Josh said. "So tell her it's a good thing and stuff."

"Do I try to talk to her again tonight o-or do we wait till breakfast o-or do we all just kinda act like it didn't happen or?"

"I guess talk to her at breakfast tomorrow," Josh said.

Tyler sighed and nodded. This would be the most awkward and embarrassing thing he had ever done.

***

The next morning, Tyler decided to make Ruby breakfast in bed.

He brought it in on a tray, setting it down on her lap.

"M-morning," he said.

She nodded.

"I-I uh... I... wait, hold on, I forgot what I'm supposed to say," he said, pulling out his phone. "Let me text Josh."

A second later, Josh replied. "Oh, ok. I got it. Um... I wanted to check with you and see if you were doing ok. I know last night might have been weird for you, but if you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

Ruby shrugged. "I-I dunno. I-it's just kind of weird walking in and seeing yours parents doing... that."

"U-uh, y-yeah... b-but if it makes you feel any better, i-I'm just as embarrassed as you. P-probably even more. B-but I'm supposed to be a good parent and talk about it, s-so here I am."

Ruby nodded, just eating her breakfast quietly.

"I uh... it's weird being a parent when you're really young l-like Josh and I are," Tyler said. "L-like we're 30 and have a 14 year old. C-cause like, I-I'm pretty sure Josh and I are more kids than you are. S-so we like... are stupid like kids are a-and do stupid stuff l-like me shaving my legs instead of just showing you how to instead of just telling you. O-or when Josh put 500 plastic balls on the trampoline. O-or when I wrote 'fuck you' on a sandwich in mustard while Josh and I were fighting and accidentally gave it to you because I wasn't paying attention to which plate was which. T-those certainly weren't our proudest moments, a-and neither is last night."

"Sex is uh... its a cool thing you get to do when you're married. It's a really special thing a-and a really amazing way to show love t-to your spouse. I-I dunno, Ru. The website we read said to stay 'sex positive.' I don't know what 'sex positive' means. It's just... sex is a beautiful thing a-and I hope you find love with a guy as much as I found with Josh and you get to experience something as incredible as it is," he said quickly.

"But no getting married till you're 45," he quickly added. "Boys don't mature till they're 45."

"Boys don't ever mature," Ruby said.

"That's my girl," Tyler smiled, kissing her forehead. "Boys are stupid. They've always been stupid, they'll always be stupid. Just take dad and I as an example. We thought it'd be cool to dump 300 pounds on dry ice in our pool at our house before we got you. And what did we get? Evicted."

Ruby laughed, Tyler doing the same.

"It's true," Tyler said. "And I'm not even the kiddish one! Josh is! Do you know where he took me on our wedding night? McDonald's. He wanted a happy meal. I was expecting a nice fancy dinner with roses and candles and everything, but guess what I got, Ruby. A happy meal. A burger, might I add! They were out of nuggets!"

Ruby snickered as she ate her breakfast, Tyler telling her more and more stories of how childish he and Josh were.

"Ok, so you know how Josh and I have refused to tell you what your first word was for the longest time?"

Ruby nodded.

"It was fuck," he snickered. "'Cause you were just a lil bitty baby when we met you, the freakin' cutest baby I've ever seen in my whole entire life by the way, they let us take you home for a day. And we had to move that day, so we just held you while we moved boxes and everything. Well all day long we had been saying 'dada' trying to get you to repeat it, but you were just being a stubborn little bean. So we kinda gave up. Josh was holding you and dropped a box on his foot and screamed 'fuck,' and of course that was the one time you decided to mimic."

"REALLY?!"

"Yes!" Tyler exclaimed. "And we had no idea what to do! Cause it was technically our fault so we were dying of laughter but we were also trying to make sure you knew it was a bad word so we said 'RuRu, that's a naughty word' and you said it again so we just laughed and went to dinner with you."

Ruby giggled and shook her head.

"See?" Tyler said. "We've been bad parents from the beginning. But we got super duper lucky and have the best daughter ever who even though she's like a parent to us she's like totally perfect."

"Thanks, dad," Ruby said.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Tyler smiled, hugging her and kissing her forehead. "I love you. I promise Josh and I are gonna... I dunno what we're gonna do. We'll prolly just wait till you're at a sleepover or something before we have se- why am I telling you that? Fuck. Wait! No! Don't say fuck. It's a bad word. Damnit! Shit! Fuck! FUCK!"

Ruby laughed and laughed, Tyler groaning as he left her room.

All in all, everything went quite well, both Josh and Tyler absolutely relieved.