"Joshieeeeeee," Tyler slurred with a drunken giggle as he crawled into Josh's lap on the couch.

"What, baby?" Josh asked. He was in the middle of a conversation with a bunch of his friends.

"I've seen your penis."

"That's great, babe," Josh said. "This is his first time drinking, by the way."

"I've seen Joshie's penis!" Tyler yelled for everyone to hear.

"Shhhhhhh," Josh said, pulling Tyler into his arms. "Be quiet, baby."

"Why? Who sleepin'?"

"Babies," Josh said, going with the lie.

"Babies are sleepin'????"

"Mhm. So you've gotta be real quiet, okay?"

"Okay," Tyler whisper yelled, crawling drunkenly to Brendon's kitchen.

"Anyways," Josh said, continuing his conversation.

Three minutes later Tyler returned with a mega carton of goldfish crackers on his head, informing Josh he was the king.

"That's cool, Tyler," Josh said. "Go be king of the kitchen. Their kingdom needs leadership."

Tyler nodded, waddling to the kitchen to begin ruling over the kingdom.

"Um... Josh?" Someone said a few minutes later. "Uh... your husband is hitting people with Twizzlers every time they walk into the kitchen demanding there trespassing."

"Oh my god," Josh said, getting up to go control his husband. "Come on, Ty. We're going home."

"TYTY IS KING. NOBODY TELLS KING TYTY WHAT TO DO," Tyler said, throwing a twizzler at Josh before eating one.

Josh sighed, picking his husband up and carrying him to his car, driving him home.

Tyler ran into several walls, his goldfish carton crown still on his head.

"Now I know why you don't drink," Josh said, picking him up and carrying him upstairs to their room.

"J-Joshie..." he suddenly said. "I don't feel so good..."

He then ran to the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet.

"Oh, baby..." Josh said, going into the bathroom and gently rubbing his back.

Tyler was throwing up for a solid twenty minutes.

Josh got him water and medicine, and Tyler had sobered up a bit.

"W-what happened, Joshie?" He asked softly as he crawled into his lap.

"You got drunk and decided you were king of Brendon's kitchen," Josh said, gently running his hand up and down Tyler's belly. "It was cute, though, if that counts as anything."

"This is why I don't get drunk," Tyler mumbled.

"Hey, you're still king in my book. Even when you're sober."