"Um... I uh... I... here," Josh said, handing his husband an envelope.

"What's this?" Tyler asked with a soft smile, looking up at Josh before looking back down and opening the letter.

Tyler,

I know I'm really bad at showing emotion. Especially verbally. You and I both know that.

But I read online that it might be easier if I put it in a letter. And I know you've always said you've dreamed of having a bunch of verbal affirmations and connections on your honeymoon, and I'm gonna try my best, but if I don't do it enough, you'll at least have it in writing to know I meant to.

I love you a lot.

This is kind of a delayed apology given I proposed to you over a year ago, but sorry all I said to you was 'will you marry me?'. I know you've always dreamt of some long proclamation of love but to be honest, I was just so nervous. I couldn't get much else out.

But you were still sweet, as usual, and said yes.

And now we're married.

And I'm really, really happy that we're married.

Even when I'm not smiling, I promise I'm happy. I'm bad at smiling, you know that, and I'm sorry.

You always tell me to stop apologizing for my personality, but you're currently asleep on my arm drooling, so you can't tell me to stop now.

I just want you to know I understand my weaknesses, and I'm trying to get better.

I'm sorry I suck at putting things into words.
I'm sorry I suck at expressing emotion in general.
I'm sorry I don't always give you what you've dreamed of for forever.
I'm sorry I don't always know what the right thing to say is.
I'm sorry I don't ever really know what the right thing to say is.
I'm sorry I have to google how to be in a relationship when I should be able to just be in one like everyone else.
I'm sorry I don't know how to tell you you're beautiful to your face. Because you are beautiful, Tyler. The most beautiful being to ever walk the earth. I just don't know how to tell you.
I'm sorry I ever make you feel sad or like being in a relationship with me is a chore.

Now for the list of things I love about you.

Your smile
Your hair when you wake up in the morning and it's all messy
Your sweet personality that always puts everyone else first
Your amazing planning skills. Every date we go on is even better than I could have ever imagined.
Your bottom teeth. You always say you want to get them fixed because they're crooked, and I've never really told you this but I love them a whole lot.
How you smile every time we kiss and I can feel it.
How you hug me every time I come home from work, even when we're in a fight.
Your amazing singing voice. I hear you singing to me when I'm 'asleep.' I just keep my eyes closed so you won't stop singing.
Your adorable laugh
Your cooking.
Your thighs. I know you say they're fat and you hate them, but they're so... I don't even know, Tyler. Apparently I still can't put everything into words even when writing. They're perfect to me, Tyler.
You're perfect to me.

I could put a thousand more things on this list, but the printer is almost out of ink.

The point is:

I love you.
And I'm really, really happy we're married now.
And I hope we have a really fun, really memorable honeymoon.

Also I love you. Again.

Your husband,
Josh

"Josh!" Tyler exclaimed with a wide smile once he finished reading, throwing his arms around Josh's neck in a tight hug.

Josh hugged Tyler back tightly.

"This is the most I've ever heard from you at one time," Tyler said. "And you weren't even talking. This is so sweet, honey. Oh my gosh. You read articles on how to communicate?? Joshua, you're the best."

Josh didn't know what to say, he just stood there, overwhelmed as he tried to think of what he was supposed to say.

Tyler could tell, grabbing Josh's hands and speaking to him softly to calm him down. "Say you love me, Joshie."

"I-I love you," Josh said.

Tyler smiled and stepped closer to him, kissing his lips.

"I love you too," he said softly, caressing Josh's cheek with his thumb.

His face was warm. He was overwhelmed from having giving him the letter and expressing so much emotion. Vulnerability scared him.

"C'mon, honey," Tyler said softly. "Let's go lay down."

He gently led Josh to the bed in their honeymoon suite, snuggling up next to him. He lied down beside Josh, tracing patterns softly into his stomach.

Eventually, Josh wrapped his arm around Tyler. Tyler didn't even have to gently nudge him to.

Tyler smiled widely, turning to Josh and kissing his lips. "Good job, Joshie."

Josh always wanted Tyler to tell him when he did something that made him feel special. That way he knew he should do it more.

"I planned a date," Josh mumbled quietly.

"I'm sorry, baby," Tyler said, not having heard him. "What?"

"I-I planned a date."

"Joshua! You planned a date for us?!"

Josh nodded.

"Do I get to know about the date??"

Josh nodded again.

"Are you gonna tell me?" Tyler giggled a bit later when Josh hadn't said anything.

"O-oh, yeah. I-I got reservations at the Italian place you said you wanted to go to a-and thought we could g-go to a park and hold hands and snuggle after."

"Joshua," Tyler cooed, tears in his eyes as he smiled widely. "That sounds amazing."

***

Throughout the honeymoon, Tyler noticed Josh trying extra hard to communicate.

***

That night, the boys were naked in front of each other for the first time.

"Y-you look nice," Josh said quietly as he looked at Tyler.

"Thank you, Joshua," Tyler smiled softly, kissing his forehead. "So do you."

Maybe 'nice' wasn't the right word to use in that context, but what mattered was that Josh was trying.

What really came as a surprise to Tyler was when in the middle of sex, Josh stopped moving and looked down into his eyes for a minute.

"Y-you're beautiful," he said.

Tyler blushed, smiling shyly as he hugged Josh's neck. "You're so sweet, Joshie. Thank you."

Josh gave the smallest smile and nodded before continuing.

***

After they both finished, they were cuddled up in bed together, reminiscing in what just happened.

Josh got up, Tyler knew it was because he was feeling overwhelmed. It hurt a little, but he knew it was better for Josh to just let him have his time alone.

But only a few minutes, later, Josh came back in, crawling back into bed with Tyler.

"I-I should spend time with you now. W-we were both just really vulnerable. Not just me. S-so I'm gonna stay and hug you."

Tyler smiled as he sniffled. "Thank you, Joshua."

***

Josh said he was going on a walk a few days later. He did that a lot when he needed some time alone.

But when he returned, he had a dozen red roses.

"T-these are for you," he said, handing them to Tyler.

"Joshua," Tyler smiled shyly. "You didn't have to."

"I-I think you're prettier than the roses."

Tyler got up and hugged Josh tightly, kissing his chin since he was shorter than Josh.

"A-also I love you."

"I love you more, Joshua."

***

On their last night of the honeymoon, Tyler was lying in bed, wondering what was taking Josh so long to get ready for bed.

He exited the bathroom in a suit.

"I-I don't like that I'm the reason we didn't have our own vows at the wedding," he said. "S-so I thought we could maybe p-put our wedding clothes back on a-and say our own vows to each other."

Tyler heart melted, tears running down his cheeks.

Exchanging their own vows had been really important to him, but Josh didn't feel comfortable doing it. Especially in front of so many people.

He had been trying to push it to the side, but he really regretted not doing it.

This made it all better.

He quickly put on his suit and stood out on the balcony of the hotel room with Josh, holding his hands as they exchanged their vows.

Josh even started crying. Tyler had never seen him cry before.

"Joshie," he giggled softly as he sniffled as well, wiping Josh's tears. "Joshie, you're making me cry too."

"I-I just love you a whole lot," Josh sniffled, hugging the shorter boy tightly.

"I know, Joshie," Tyler smiled softly. "I love you too."