doing once more---a fucking roast
i need 2 try to make a sepreate book again ffs

you do realise the first lines are like the most important
like
is this a joke

shoot me if im incorrect but abuse doesnt go from 'u faggot' to '///beats shovel against your head 20 times'

what natural dialect
"Happy birthday-'
'OMG yAsss!!!2 uincornz fetish (((:'

AAh i love the fresh smell of unnatural behaviors in the morning

what
"Hey so we are blackmailed 2 give u back lol sorry it was fun when it lasted fam'

this was the paragraph right after
????
the fuck is plot in a story lmao we dont need it

so is jazz the obligatory female love intrest for Greyson because god forbid hes 🌈single🌈

alpha tone sounds way too kinky for this

thats fairly causal to speak of a dead person laying there
whos also your best friend

i read rapping as raping tbh
its much more uhm
worse

-geez thats a little harsh to someone who just called you beautiful
-why does it even matter if ur parents r there it looks like ur fam got ur back like
-wHY ARE THEY EVEN BACK
-IF THEY DONT CA R E THEN WHY DO THEY W AN T YOU

we dont even get appearance or acknowledgement from anybody else. he has one line with one word. six letters. and he already want dat ass bOIII

again please epxlain how CAPITAL LETTERS AND RANDOM PUNCTUATION? ????!?!?!?!??!?!?MAKES THIS????!?!??!?!?!??!?...,,,MORE DRAMATIC!!!!!
it looks like youre a fat 6 year old ginger screeching at his mom for a fucking fruit bar from the ice cream man
thats not dramatic
but is is annoying

so a man walks in and yells, yoru father calmly greats said man and you, oh so mature, rebuttals with loud screeching like a spoiled little girl

wait get this straight
this man wants to marry this girl because
she resembles his former lover
nono not even that
Just REMINDED him of her
"Ahahah my girlfriend loved Build a Bear too!!"
"Ill pay you fifty grand for marriage."

flashback dreams of dead twins
what a way to interdouce characters
Listen to Stephenie Mayer for tips trust me works everytime