ITS ONLY FAIR
also disclaimer ⛔⛔
Apocalyptic themes are mentioned and some death mentions briefly
whats the normal formate idc i only use that for rants

-choosen one-
ugh ok im sorry but how the fuck am i supposed to magically care about a character when they get a title as big as a god or king just handed to them.
hercules had an excuse he had to fight his ass to become a god
just...i hate the "UR ACTUALLY A GOD/KING/SON OF A KNIGHT/WIZARD/WARLOCK/PRINCE OF BEL AIR COME WITH ME"
and if this was the case, why is it always when their conviently young adults when they find out
GIVE ME A SIX YEAR OLD WHO JUST FINDS OUT HES A WIZARD AND ILL APPERICATE YOU

-damsel in distress princesses/tough princesses
im so fucking tired of the damsel cliche. its been burnt to the fucking ground. theres nothing you can do anymore. if youre able to twist this trope around youre literally jesus fucking christ.
and the TOUGH PRINCESS!!! still manages to need a man bc GOD FORBID a woman IS INDEPENDENT and has CHARACTER and is treated like an ADULT wow

-racism
fancy, elgant elves! drunken mean dwarfs ): ugly stupid orcs!!! ewwww trolls!!! but look!! a very friendly, kinda annoying fairy who has a bigger attutude than her size, hah! a mean giant, ewww big mean cyclops destroy!!!
what did the orcs ever do to u i want NICE ORCS GIVE ME A CUTE ORC CHILD TO ENJOY

-robin hood retellings
we get it youre against capitalism but i came here for a fantasy story not to be reminded of your first word western issues in a society where youre given human rights by your goverment

-villan is heros father
what sense does this make. just end of book gotta throw in that spin that makes literally no sense and has been dead. Seriously. You cant do this without being killed

- apocalyptic scenario
ie
IF YOU DONT FIND THE GEM THE KINGDOM SHALL FALL AND ITS ALL UR FAULT
in what logical world does a magical piece of jewelry get in the hands of a fucking bad guy
seriously
youre not that good of a leader if you
A) LET THE MAGIC REMAIN IN A PIECE OF JEWLERY. CANT YOU FUCKING TRASNFER THE MAGIC TO SOMETHING ELSE
B) ITS NOT THAT FUCKI G GUARDED IF MR BLACKDARKNESS666 GETS IT
C) send mr hero, obligatorily stupid chubby character who is stupid and only cares about food, girl.pouwear lead and weird Cat Dragon Cretaure that sounds like.will feral out to get it
Its a serious situation??? Why not uhm??? Yknow??? ProFESIONALS??? MILTARY?????

-wizard man takes in Mr Hero and oppsie daisy he ded just in time
wow thanks Gandolf number 30 for teaching me the most important thing ever right b4 u die
master oogway is the death of a master done fucking right
that scene makes me get chills everytime and it does it in a very calm, peaceful way and not to get pity but rather teach another character, shifu in this case, to trust po and teach him
hes the best fucking master character ive seen and thats a mOVIE ABOUT A PANDA LEARNING KUNG FU

-romance that makes no sense
"tOBY U HAVE RIN AND L-"
it makes sense and helps the fucking plot move forward and its built up and not shoved down ut throat when the plot acutally unfolds
i talk about it a lot but its not the most important thing in that book and isnt s t u p i d
on the other hAnd ahhahahahahaha i h a t e added romance that makes no sens e
guy:i cAm e 2 fIte ohohou who dat
Comic relief: master, tis be Sapphire Goldenhair, the beautiful queen of Arrendule!!!
Guy: hello spahhire ur cute
Sapphire: anal me sideways

its so annoying ESPICALLY WHEN THE AUTHOR ALWAYS SHOVES IT DOWN UR THROAT
SEEE, THEY LOVE EACHOTHER#! LOOK HOW ADOREABLE DAW LOOKIE THEY HAVE A KID 2TOGETHER!!!DAWIE LOOKIE HERE LOOK LOOKIE LOOK AT EM DAWIE HE SAVES HURRRR TRU LOVE DERP

-love triangles
phantom of the oprea did it better then anyone can ever do it so you should just stop

-perffurrrt races then MEANIE RACES >>>>>:((((((

i understand this face isnt too friendly but can you at least use what u have as brains

-vIILAN WHO HAS 72822828282829292 HENCHMEn
how do u get so many creatures 2 work 4 u mr blackdarkness666

A) villans who kill kill henchmen
This is usually for authors to prove the --eviulness--- of the villan but
We kNOW HES EVIL
YOU MADE THAT SO BLANT
HOW CAN IT BE ANY OTHER FUCKING WAy WE GET IT HES BIG OL BADDIE BAD BAD BAD WITH NO MORALITY

B) henchmen who are beyond stupid
it isnt cute or cool its fucking annoying to hear their weird noises as they scatter like fuckers

-forcing emotions on minot characters we dont care about
I!!!dont!!!care about billy hes been here for five minutes why would i care
hes an orphan ffs idc ok cool but why should i cry
maybe im just too apathic to fictional characters i dont know well

-single.parent/no parents
STOP FORCING ME TO LIKE CHARACTERS JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE PARENTS I FUCKING UNDERSTAND ITS HARD BUT WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT HIM

-magic is not a controlled force and not harmless at all
Because making ur oc a mary sue bc MAGIC sounds better on paper then POTATO

-no one every needs to take a shit
i get its awkward but come on

-"i can eat anything and not excerise and be a twig/buff as SHIT"
ppl r like that yes but dont make ur entire cast like that
i love skinny characters dont get me wrong
but dont be afraid to *gasps*
Ad d c h u b BY C HARACTERS
THE DREADED F WORD
FAT
LIKE FAM I JUST WANT A CHUBBY MAIN CHARACTER WHO ISNT A JOKE TY
THIS ALSO APPLIES TO RLLY SKINSKIN CHARACTERS AS WELL

-wheres the economic structure
just bc u got some coins dont mean all is set u fufking