June 4th
Saturday
Year 1

Every year, I reflect on how I spent it while sitting at the beach. Usually, my reflection would be at the close of the year, but I decided it was appropriate to celebrate one semester of college completed.

With a smile, I dig my toes into the sand, enjoying how the waves flood over my feet. For me, anxiety feels like the tug and pull of these waves. When an attack hits me, it's like this dark monster looms over me, not letting me forget about him for one second. I'd get distracted or the feeling would drift away, and the monster would tap my shoulder with a taunting "nice try".

Thanks to Taehyung, my monster's been more at bay. I'm so grateful for Taehyung approaching me and introducing me to his circle of friends - Jin, Karin, Jimin, and Jiyoo. All of them have a special place in my heart. I'll never forget when we made cupcakes at Karin's, when Jimin invited me over, when we gathered a huge group for the festival... or when we stayed in the city for the B.I. concert. So many special memories and I can never thank them enough.

As this semester ended, I feared things would return to how they were. I'd even wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat with the thought that I had so little days with everyone.

Would I fade into just a memory?

Had I even done anything memorable?

Would it have been better if I didn't meet anyone at all?

If... I never met Taehyung?

I hated that thought the most. The truth was that I was just scared. It's just that... I know that in ten years, I'll look back and regret not savoring all the time we had. If I knew it would go by so fast, I would have done better. Thinking about Taehyung becoming a memory made my stomach uneasy, and I didn't know how to express in words why. All I knew was that I was desperate not to lose him. Not like how I lost Eunha, who disappeared after our fight, leaving me with no chance to apologize.

When the day came to decide on our schedules, I stood in line looking over my plan over and over again. My throat hurt and I could tell the monster was looking over my shoulder.

My phone vibrated (a much needed distraction). I responded to Taehyung asking me for my location, my heart speeding up. Was he looking for me? Shortly after, I glance up to see him turn the corner in a rush. His hair was whipped back with how fast he was jogging. When he spotted me, a smile broke out in his face as he waved the paper in his hand.

Panic flashed on his face when he realized he wasn't going to stop in time. I held up my hands and held my breath, waiting for him to collide into me. Instead, he grasped onto my hand as he balanced.

"Sorry-"He crouched and gasped for air. "My advisor....said I have room... for one more elective. Let's choose one together... for next semester."

He wants to take another class with me.

Peeking at me, he smiled. "Want to?"

I released a sigh of relief, breaking into a smile by how silly I felt for feeling so afraid. Holding tightly onto his hand, I nod.

In the end, we settled on taking philosophy together.

Not only will I have the chance to spend more time with Taehyung. It means that I'll be able to spend time with him over the holidays coming up.

That leaves me with new things to look forward to.

Closing my eyes, I throw my head back and listen to the waves reel back.

Just like how the monster was reeling back.

This semester is going to be different; I can feel it.

How will I change?

How can I leave an imprint of myself in other's memories?

So that in ten years... they can also look back with a smile?

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

Author's Note;;

I am totally in love with Jimin's new song "Who". All the remixes!!