September 2
Saturday
Year 1

"Seolli."

My name is called sweetly a couple of more times before my eyelids find the strength to lift.

When did I fall asleep?

Taehyung looks at me from my bed. He's a scoot away from hanging upside down.

I lift my head up from my desk. The desk lamp is the only thing illuminating the room now that the sun had set.

"Did you fall asleep reading the poem?" He asks with a small chuckle, leaning up on his elbow.

I look down to see his book open in front of me. "I'm sorry!"

He rolls onto his back again with a laugh, and stretching out his arms, he admires them. "I love the way he writes with so much admiration for the human body."

Grazing a hand down the length of his arm, he tilts his head and studies himself. "He talks about how men's and women's bodies are created equal, but I think women's bodies are more incredible."

"You think so?" I whisper.

He lifts himself to sit up on the bed, his hair falling over his forehead delicately. My heart flips at his own beauty. The same passion that lights up his eyes for poetry and women travels into mine - except it's for him and him alone. I hold my breath as if my feelings would pour out of me.

"If the universe had a creator, she'd be a woman." He says with confidence.

I reach for my necklace and play with it as his words move me. "Is a woman's body really that powerful?"

"I think so," he nods.

Would that be something I could live up to?

"Let me show you."

My eyes snap his way, and a shiver runs down my spine with the seriousness his expression holds.

Before I can ask how, he holds his hand out for me to take. It hangs in the air, gracefully.

I slip my hand into his and let him gently reel me in closer. Getting on the bed, I rest my hand into the mattress for support.

He lets go to softly graze the back of his hand against my cheek, making me internally gasp.

"You should know just how much you have over me..."

I furrow my brows. Me? I couldn't possibly have anything over him. Even I can understand that he's beyond my reach. Taehyung who attracts everyone like the only flower available to a swarm of bees. Taehyung who smiles so brightly you regain the strength and courage to get through your day. Taehyung who listens with such attentiveness that makes you feel like your voice matters. That Taehyung can't have as much to say about me as I do him.

Taehyung leans in a little, raises his eyebrows as he checks my reaction. I'm as still as a statue, keeping my eyes low. What if this was a way of teasing me? Was this a joke? But if he moves any closer, I'll cave into what I'm yearning.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

I feel my breathing picking up with those words, but I close my eyes with trust. As his lips faintly touch mine, I hold my breath.

As if he changed his mind, he decided to tilt his head the other way before sinking his lips onto mine. The softness of his lips surprises me, and the warmth is enough to make me melt into the kiss. He parts his lips for a breath, and I do the same, only he picks up my lips before I can finish.

His scent fills my nostrils – the faint tones of melon and sage. The sense of comfort overwhelms me.

He murmurs into the kiss, "I can't stop."

My lips tremble, but I know it's not from fear. It's from the adrenaline. 

His hand on the base of my neck pulls me closer with encouragement into the next kiss. This kiss feels different and I'm drowning in the heat that spreads throughout my body. Quickly, his kisses get shorter and shorter, but more urgent that I can't keep up.

I'm gasping for air between them and I hear his soft voice as well.

This is a dream...

This has to be a dream...

I wake up with a loud gasp, clutching my blankets with my trembling hands.

A dream...

Widening my eyes, I adjust to the darkness in my room. I turn to look next to me and find no one.

I hunch over and hold the blanket tight against me, closing my eyes.

I'm so sorry, Taehyung.

I'm so sorry.