CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

The promise

"POPCORN!" sigaw ni Rara. Tumaas ang kilay ni Trev at pinitik si Rara sa noo.

"Pizza," sabi naman ni Trev.

"Popcorn!" iritang sigaw ni Rara kaya kumunot ang noo ni Trev.

"Pizza. Ra, umakyat ka na lang kaya sa kuwarto mo? Date namin 'to, nakikisali ka."

Palihim akong natawa. Kanina pa kasi sila nagtatalo kung ano ang kakainin namin mamaya kapag manonood na kami sa kuwarto ni Trev.

Gan'yan silang dalawa araw-araw. Ilang araw na akong nandito sa kanila pero mas madalas pala talaga silang magbangayan kapag nandito sa bahay.

"So panira ako, gano'n ba Trev?" Tumaas ang kilay ni Rara at biglang napunta sa 'kin ang tingin niya.

Agad naman akong umiwas ng tingin pero wala rin dahil bigla siyang lumapit sa 'kin. "Samahan mo ko."

"Bakit kita sasamahan?" kunotnoo kong tanong sa kanya.

"Eh 'di huwag," iritang sabi niya at saka siya umakyat sa kuwarto niya. Naiwan kami ni Trev dito sa kusina at tinaasan naman niya ako ng kilay.

"Are you planning to ignore her forever?" he asked, pouring me a glass of water.

"Labas na lang tayo?" I changed the topic.

I don't really want to talk about my relationship with Rara. Wala naman na kasing dapat pag-usapan. Okay na ako sa casual treatment namin sa isa't isa. Ang mahalaga, medyo nag-uusap naman kami. Pero 'yong hihigit pa do'n, malabo nang mangyari. Hindi na maibabalik sa dati 'yong bagay na nasira na.

Sasagot pa lang sana sa 'kin si Trev pero tinawag ako bigla ni Tita Raff. May bisita raw ako sa labas.

Agad ko namang sinilip sa bintana kung sino ang bisitang tinutukoy ni Tita at hindi ko inaasahang makita si Bellamy na kasalukuyang nakasandal sa kotse niya.

"I think you should talk to him," Trev said, shrugging nonchalantly.

"I think something's up. He wouldn't be here if it's not important," he added, pushing me lightly to the door. "Call me if you need anything." He kissed me on my forehead before I head out.

Pagkalabas ko ng bahay ay nagtama ang mga mata namin ni Bellamy. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero may kung anong kakaiba sa mga mata niya naparang katatakutan mo na lang din talaga. Hindi na ako magtataka kung bakit kinatatakutan siya lagi ng mga nakakalaban niya sa volleyball.

His eyes are as cold as an ice. Nakikita ko sa kanya ang sarili ko.

"Denver wants to talk to you." He paused. "In private," he continued, clenching his jaw.

I scoffed in annoyance. "Kaya ka nandito?" I didn't care if I sounded arrogant.

"Yeah. I'm here to pick you up. You two should talk."

"Tell him I won't come," matigas na sabi ko.

His forehead creased. "You guys need to talk and you know that."

"I have a boyfriend, Bellamy. Tell Denver to stop bothering me."

"Talking to your ex doesn't mean you're cheating on your boyfriend, Feem. Unless you do something that—"

"Go home, Bell."

A mischievous smile escaped his lips. "You still love my cousin." He nodded in agreement to his own opinion. What the hell?

"Baliw ka ba?" inis na sabi ko.

"If you don't have any feelings for him anymore, prove me. Come with me and talk to him. Simple as that." He glanced at his watch as if his time was being wasted.

"He's waiting, Feem," he added.

I didn't speak for a moment. I didn't know what to say or what to do.

Saglit akong lumingon sa bahay nina Trev at bumuntonghininga.

"Alright, I'll come with you."

***

"YOU know where to find him," tanging sabi ni Bellamy bago niya ako iniwan sa tabing dagat.

I looked around and sadness suddenly took over me.

Dito kami madalas magpunta dati ni Denver, and I couldn't help but miss this place.

As soon as I arrived at the restaurant, the bell above the door chimed when I got in.

Ten months na akong hindi nakapasyal dito. Ngayon na lang ulit.

I slowly looked around, searching for Denver. Finally, our eyes met.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nandito at kung paano ako nakumbinsi ni Bell na pumunta rito.

Shaking my head, I walked to him and sat down on the chair across him.

"Hi," I greeted, flashing him a half smile.

He smiled back. "Hi."

I never thought that we would be here again at the same spot where we used to spend time together.

It's been ten months since we broke up, but why did it feel like it only happened yesterday?

I shook my head to dismiss the thought.

Pareho kaming nanatiling tahimik habang nakatitig lang sa isa't isa. Walang makapagsalita sa 'ming dalawa.

Hindi ko rin naman alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin.

At hindi ko rin alam kung bakit hindi siya nagsasalita ngayon sa harapan ko eh siya naman ang may gustong magkita kaming dalawa ngayon.

Habang tinititigan ko siya, bigla kong naalala 'yong sarili ko na nagmamakaawa sa kanya na 'wag akong iwan. Kung paano ako lumuhod sa harapan niya para lang ayusin ang relasyon naming dalawa.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero ang bigat pa rin pala sa pakiramdam. Nangigilid na ang luha sa mga mata ko kaya agad akong tumingala para pigilan ang pagpatak nito.

"Thanks for coming." He finally said something to break the silence.

I forced a smile. "Kung may sasabihin ka, pakisabi na lang agad. 'Wag na nating patagilin 'tong usap natin," I demanded. I even pushed the cup and plate away from me. Wala akong balak kumain o uminom kasama siya.

His lips curved into a half smile as he slowly nodded in agreement.

He stayed silent for seconds before breathing out a long sigh. "I'm sorry for leaving you, for not hearing you out, for everything. I'm really sorry, Feem. Wala ako no'ng kailangan mo ako." I could see his attempt to not be weak in front of me, but tears started coming out from his eyes.

"I'm really sorry, naduwag ako," dagdag pa niya at saka niya mabilis na pinunasan 'yong luha niya.

All this time, I was too blinded by anger I could not see things the way I should've seen them. But now I could see his repentance pretty clearly.

And I could not hold my tears back any longer.

Ayokong nakikita siyang umiiyak.

Ayokong nakikita siyang ganito.

Aaminin ko, matagal kong hiniling na sana kausapin niya ulit ako.

Matagal kong hiniling na sana humingi siya ng tawad sa 'kin.

Pero bakit ngayong nangyayari na lahat ng hiling ko ay hindi ko magawang maging masaya? Bakit mas nasasaktan ako para sa kan'ya?

I closed my eyes, crying in silence.

I finally let myself feel all the pain I tried to bury.

Hindi siya nagsalita at hinayaan lang akong umiyak. I thought what I needed was an apology from him, but now that I've finally received it, I realized something. It wasn't his apology that I wanted. All this time, what I wanted was his acknowledgement of what he did and what he did not.

Hearing those words from him honestly felt like magic. Para bang gumaan lahat.

No'ng napakalma ko na ang sarili ko, marahan kong kinuha ang kamay niya at hinawakan ito.

I looked up, our gazes locked.

"You don't have to feel sorry for me anymore, Denver. It's really a good thing that our relationship didn't work out. Because of you, I started paying attention to someone I never thought I'd fall for. Because of what happened to us in the past, I'm now here. I'm happy. And I honestly want to thank you, Denver."

I let go of his hand and flashed him one last smile.

"I have to go. Trev's waiting for me."

And just like that, I went back to Trev. Naabutan ko siyang nagbabasa ng libro, at sa hindi malamang dahilan ay nakahinga ako nang maluwag.

Nang maramdaman niya ang presensya ko ay napalingon siya sa direksyon ko. "Oh. Nandito ka na agad?" gulat na sabi niya.

Hindi ko siya sinagot at agad ko siyang niyakap. Ikinabigla niya ang ginawa ko. "H-Hey, are you alright? Ano'ng nangyari?" Bakas sa boses niya ang pag-aalala kaya mas humigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya.

"Can you promise me that you will never leave me?" pabulong kong sabi.

Kumalas siya sa yakap para titigan ako sa mga mata.

"What happened?" he repeated.

I shook my head. "Just promise me that, Trev. Please?"

I was waiting for his response but I was stunned when he suddenly closed the gap between us, his lips touching mine.

I responded to his kisses, his arms wrapped around my waist.

Nang maghiwalay ang labi naming dalawa ay tinitigan niya ulit ako sa mga mata.

"Even if you try to push me away, I will never leave you. I promise."

____

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