There are days when I wish,
I didn't know the sound,
of a front door breaking
or a wall being punched.

There are days when I wish,
I didn't hear their yelling,
every time that the music
is too loud to hear a thing.

I wish I didn't know fear,
and I didn't know anger.
I wish I wouldn't wake up crying,
or go to sleep not even trying.

I miss when I was small,
and he could do no harm.
I miss when I didn't have to help them,
because I was so afraid they'd hurt him.
I miss when this was all so superficial,
and I didn't want to disappear.

I wish I could go back,
and make up for what you did.
I wish that I could fix,
all the problems that you did.

But what I hate the most,
isn't how fucked up this is.
It's how in about ten years,
you'll just live with the guilt.
But I'll have to live in fear,
because I don't know what's wrong or right.
I don't know who's good or bad,
and I don't know what healthy's like.

I hope one day I'll be better,
and I'll leave this in the past.
But I know how this will end,
and I'm not sure which one is worse.
Between living and surviving,
I think I'd rather live.
But right now in this moment,
I'm not sure which one I'm doing.
I just know it's not enough.