Grace

I'm so happy Becky likes the gift. I love seeing her this happy, it brings a smile to my own lips.

I look around and see I'm not the only one smiling because of Becky. There are smiles on everyone's faces. That's what I call the Rebecca effect. She can make people happy without even trying.

Mike pulls me away from the crowd and into a big hug.

"I'm sorry, cuz. I have to go," he says into my hair.

"It's okay. I'm leaving soon anyway." I say back and hug him tight. "I miss you too much, you have to stay here," I pout.

He chuckles and it shakes my whole body.

"I told you, you can come visit me anytime." he tries to mock my tone.

That earns him a punch in the shoulder.

"I will," I say back and mean it. I want to see the observatory at MIT. And Mike, of course.

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and says "I'm holding you to that," before disappearing in the crowd.

I look around for Ali but I can't see her anywhere, the crowd's too big. I'll just find her when I leave.

In the meantime I join Becky and her friends at the booth.

"GG, you're back," Becky says when I get close enough. She nearly trips and I'm next to her just in time to catch her. "Where is he? Did he leave already?" she puts.

"Mikey?" I ask, not completely sure who she means.

"Yes, that blue-eyed walking piece of hotness," I can barely understand her, she's so drunk.

"Please don't, you'll regret that tomorrow," I say. She just gave me plenty teasing material. She once tried to go for Mike, but my cousin knows better than to get involved with my friends. I guess she's still not completely over him.

Jungkook

It's getting pretty late and as if Namjoon sensed me thinking about that he looks at his watch.

"Leaving soon?" he asks me.

I'm thankful some of my friends have some common sense and don't want to stay out all night.

"I'll go find Yoongi and Jin," Joon heads in the direction of the booth to find them.

And I see the guy kiss Grace. But he only kisses her cheek.

Am I reading too much into it again?

Why am I even reading into it?

Can we please just leave. Too much is happening in my head.

When Namjoon gets back with Yoongi and Jin, we find Becky and say goodbye and then find our way to the exit.

"Gotta use the bathroom, wait outside for me," says Jin. Yoongi leaves with him too, and Namjoon realises he forgot his phone at our table.

"I'll get it," I say and head back inside.

"Thanks, I'll wait by the car," Namjoon heads out the door.

I pass the bar and now clearly see Graces's friend and Grace's crush - he has to be, I'm not wrong about this - full on making out.

I don't know exactly what's going on, but this feels wrong.

I reach the table and find Joon's phone.

Since I'm already here, I look around for her, but I can't see her anywhere. 

I say bye to my friends once again and then I see her.

Shit, oh shit.

I try to get through the crowd, but it's too big.

I can't stop her.

I only see the colour drain off her face and a frown appear on her lips. She looks not just sad, she looks heartbroken.

My heart hurts for her.

She turns on her heels and walks out as if a fire was lit under her feet. I try catching up to her, but she's too fast. I push the door open and the cold knocks the air out of me.

It's snowing again, so I can't see anything.

Then someone bumps into me.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you," says a voice I recognise immediately. I can hear tension in her voice, but when I look at her I wouldn't be able to say she's the same heartbroken girl from the bar.

"Don't worry about it," I say, but should I worry about her, though?

"Jungkook, let's go," Namjoon yells from the car.

Grace looks at me and I can see her facade breaking. The corners of her mouth are turning down and her eyes are becoming sad.

"They're waiting for you," she says, trying to hide a smile.

I didn't realise I was staring.

"Yeah, right." I say back, running my hand through my hair, "See you around."

I don't know what else to say, wether I should ask her if she's okay. But it's obvious she doesn't want to talk about it.

"Have a good night," she says back, sadness fully evident in her eyes. Grace hurries away and I get into the car.

But I'm not sure I'll be able to get a good sleep tonight. How could someone do such a thing to such an amazing girl?

Grace

What just happened?

My vision is blurry when I try to find the exit and it takes me a while to realise I'm still holding a glass and take it back to the bar.

The air is getting thicker and it's getting hard to breathe.

Finally I reach the door and I welcome the cold. It brings some clarity into my mind.

I know perfectly well why I'm upset.

It's-

I bump into a person but it feels like bumping into a wall.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you," I hope my voice doesn't sound like I'm about to burst into tears.

"Don't worry about it," the guy I bumped into says back.

It's Jungkook.

I can't let him see me cry. But I can feel my strength breaking to pieces and he's just standing there, looking at me.

Why do I feel like he's looking at me like I'm the only thing that matters?

My eyes starts prickling with tears, and I don't know how much longer I can hold them back.

Thankfully, Namjoon comes to my rescue, "Jungkook, let's go!"

But Jungkook is still looking at me. If he keeps doing that I will break.

"They're waiting for you," I hope this works. I feel way too exposed.

"Yeah, right," he says. I try to hide my smile at his embarrassment.

That smile is gone as soon as he runs a hand through his hair.

His scent hits me like a brick. It's woody, with a hint of what I like to call the cozy factor. It's the scent, which makes me want to spend the entire day lying in bed, reading books and drinking tea.

"See you around," Jungkook and his scent leave me alone in the cold.

"Have a good night," I need a shower, I need to clear my thoughts, I need peace and quiet.

I head home, the serenity of the empty streets giving me the chance to go over what just happened.

My best friend and my crush were kissing.

A tear rolls down my cheek, "shit," I mutter.

It's not them.

It's me.

I never told Ali I liked Blake.

I only spoke to him once and he doesn't even remember me.

I can't be mad at her. And he doesn't even deserve to be upset over.

Why didn't I tell Ali about Blake?

Why can't I open up?

Why can't I be a normal person and share my feelings?

Why do I feel alone despite all the friends I have?

So many questions I don't know the answers to.

I have to call it a night or my head will explode. I make myself a chamomile tea, curl up in bed and put in my headphones and let the music take me away.