a/n: please listen to Lauv's song Lonely eyes when you read this chapter...

Grace

I rub my hands over my temples.

The stars shining above me are giving me a sense of security, even though I'm lying on the roof, alone.

I tried falling asleep, I did. But my mind was whirling and I couldn't let go enough for the darkness to embrace me.

That's why I'm up here, hoping the universe might let me fall asleep under its protection.

I don't want to think about tomorrow, or the next day.

I don't want to think how my friends might be worried or how I'm ever going to see the boys again.

I just want to stop. Stop thinking, feeling, hurting.

No matter how much I wish for that, the universe doesn't grant it. I must face this on my own. Just like always. Me against the world.

I close my eyes and let my mind wander.

"Grace?" a gentle whisper awakes me.

Jungkook.

I must be dreaming.

"Grace, I'm here," he whispers again and I can feel his breath on my body, I can smell the rain and books... and something else... I can smell something metallic.

I slowly open my eyes, not sure if I want this to be a dream or not.

Jungkook is now standing a bit away from me.

He doesn't say anything until I'm standing too.

He looks sad, his eyes have lost their usual spark, but there is something else coating them, a determination.

"Jungkook," my voice comes out barely a whisper, "I told you to-"

He cuts in, "I know what you said and I'm here anyway," his strong jaw is set, he isn't going anywhere.

"What do you want?" I must sound exhausted because he winces at my tone, worry filling his eyes.

He takes a step closer, not breaking eye contact and I can see all the stars reflected in his eyes.

I look down and realise he's holding something out to me.

A thin folder.

I take it, my hands shaking a little.

Jungkook steps back to where he was standing before, "look at it, please," his stare is burning into me.

I swallow and look at the folder in my hands.

I open it slowly, feeling his gaze on me. I blink in confusion before I realising what this is.

Jungkook's sketches.

I asked him before if I could look at them and he showed them to me, but I've never seen these ones.

These seem different, more gentle, thoughtful.

But why is he showing them to me now?

I look through, the same girl on all of them, but she doesn't look like she's from our world.

Same dark purple hair, same clothes, same swords at her side. The same fierce features.

Except that her features look familiar. She looks like me.

My breath gets caught in my throat and my heart starts beating faster.

He drew me.

I look through all of them and I gasp when I see the last one.

This time it's just me. Just me reading a book in his bed. He turned the most causal sight into something beautiful.

I can't breathe as I look up to him.

"Wh- why are you showing me this?" my voice is trembling.

"Look at the top," Jungkook replies, he's biting on his lower lip and his chest is rising and falling fast.

I do what he asked me to.

I look at the top of the first drawing and gaze at him again with big eyes and parted lips.

12/8

This drawing is from the 8th of December.

While I'm trying to wrap my head around this, Jungkook speaks, I can feel he's moved closer to me, "After the Christmas fair," he explains without me having to ask, "I didn't realise it'd drawn you." he looks down.

I can't speak. I can only stare at how the starlight is lighting up his face, his eyes, his lips.

"I stuck with it even when I realised it was you, because I thought I wouldn't see you again anyway," he steps even closer, his eyes burning with emotion, "but when that didn't happen and we became friends, I wanted to make sure, I did her justice, that she looked as beautiful as you."

He's only one step away and I can feel the warmth radiating off him.

"What about the last one?" I somehow manage to get out. The last drawing was just me.

"You looked so happy, and I love watching you read, the way books make you gasp in surprise and how you smile when you read something that makes your heart warm," Jungkook closes the distance between us, "I wanted to capture that moment so I could hold on to it forever."

His hand recaches up and tucks a loose strand of hair that fell on my face behind my ear. It stays on my cheek, and I want to lean into it so bad.

"Say something," he whispers and I'm overtaken by him. The smell of rain and comfort and happiness. I want to stay here forever.

Jungkook lifts my chin so I have to look up at him.

"Why now?" I watch his eyes focus on my lips as I speak.

Jungkook gulps, "Because I was a coward," he takes a deep breath, his chest touching mine, "I loved our friendship so much that I didn't want anything to change it." Just like me.

"I was blind to all the signs, because I didn't want to see them and I was afraid I'd loose you," his voice is full of regret. "I didn't listen to my heart when Sarah didn't make me feel anything, I didn't realise I already had someone," his other hands cups my cheeks, "someone who was there for me, who made me laugh, who had my complete trust, who made me feel at home," his cheeks are pink and his eyes shining in the darkness.

"I didn't realise happiness was right before me, but I now know my love has been there all along."

I catch my breath.

"Grace, I'm done being afraid," I look down but he lifts my chin, "I'm done wasting time," I look in his eyes, his voice is soft as he caresses my cheek, "I love you."

He loves me.

All this time I thought I was being brave, hiding my feelings, wishing him happiness with others, but he loves me.

I have been running away from my feelings just like him.

And now here he is, this beautiful man, standing before me saying he loves me.

"Grace," Jungkook speaks and I realise I've been quiet for a while.

Tears start prickling my eyes.

Can't he see? Can't he see how much I love him?

I run my hand up his arm and hear his breath hitch, but I continue anyway. I outline his jaw, his lips and stop only when I reach his hair.

"You don't even know how long I've wanted to do this," I run my hand through his hair.

The corners of his lips turn upward.

"I've been running from my feelings" I lower my hand but he catches it at his cheek with his own and leans into my touch, "I knew you deserved someone better," I dropped my gaze down, "you deserve someone beautiful and smart, that's why I stayed away," my tone is laced with regret.

"Babe, but why did you just describe yourself?" his soft fingers graze my lips.

Heat burns under my skin where he's touching me, one hand steady on my hips and the other caressing my lips.

"I only wanted the best for you," I confess, my tone barely audible.

"But you are the best for me," Jungkook replies as if everyone knows that.

I take one last glance at him before my eyes settle on his lips and I feel them crushing against mine.

If I had to describe what his lips felt on mine, it could only be compared with a supernova. Heat exploded in me and my lips parted, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

I was barely aware of his hands moving from my hips into my hair and down my back again.

I needed to touch him, pull him closer, try to please the ache inside me.

A realisation hit me and I broke our kiss, leaving us both panting.

"You know I love you, too, right?" I do. I love him so much.

Jungkook's lips spread into the most beautiful smile I've ever witnessed, his eyes making me feel like nothing else exists.

His lips crushed down on mine again.