Grace

I say goodbye to Mike and listen to him tell me to cut him out of my life for good.

I plan to follow his advice to the tee. I'm not giving him any part of myself again.

The flight feels like forever. I rethink how I'm going to tell this to Ali and Becky. Hell, how am I going to come to terms with it myself?

I want them to comfort me, but I'm also glad that I can have the ride home to think.

They know I'm coming home today, but they probably don't know what has happened, not unless Jungkook told them. But I don't think he did. 

My heart sinks when the car starts nearing my home.

I can't be alone right now, I can't.

"Can you please drop me off at 23 Clarke street," I say to the driver.

He makes a left turn instead of a right one.

I take my suitcase out of the trunk and look at the house before me.

The reality of the situation is starting to set in. In Boston I could pretend it would all be fine when I got home.

And now I'm here and everything is far from fine.

I ring the bell, although I know the door's unlocked. It always is.

Jin opens the door with a smile which fades immediately when he sees my face.

"Baby-doll," his tone is gentle, he's almost whispering. I guess he was with Jungkook when it happened.

He takes my suitcase inside and leaves it in the hallway.

Without a word out of me he just says, "He's in his room."

I gave him a thankful nod, because he doesn't pry and I head towards the stairs.

Judging by the way Jin looked at me, full of surprise to see me here, I'm guessing nobody expected me to go anywhere but home.

I reach Jungkook's door, I can hear soft music from behind the door and I knock.

"Come in," his voice sounds like he thinks one of his roommates is about to walk in.

I open the door and I don't know if I'll be able to hold in my tears anymore. I've been trying all day.

Jungkook is sitting on his bed and looks up from behind his computer.

The seconds he sees me his eyes fill with so much emotion I can barely look at them. 

He gets up from the bed, not breaking eye contact.

I'm going to break.

Then he whispers, "baby," like his heart is breaking just seeing me like this.

I run into his open arms and bury myself into his chest.

I can feel his strong arms curl around me and his tense breaths. 

He's holding me so tight, like I'm going to collapse. 

I swallow a sniffle, but Jungkook hears it and pulls me even closer. He whispers into my ear, "I'm so sorry," his voice cracking.

I bring my hands from around his back, up his body and wrap them around his neck.

I take in everything while silent tears run down my cheeks.

How his strong hands are holding me like he's never letting go.

How his breath warms my right ear every time he exhales into my hair.

How he smells, like the rain that's coming down, like comfort, like home.

I don't know how long I stand there, in his arms. Maybe a minute, maybe ten. And he doesn't give me any indication he's letting me go.

I force myself to take a deep breath and break the hug I want to stay in forever.

I look up at Jungkook, his beautiful, chocolate eyes filled with worry and say, "I'm okay."

"You're not okay," he argues, his eyes soft and voice gentle.

I exhale, "I'm fine."

His hands come up to my cheeks and he says, "I'm wiping your tears away, you're not fine," his thumb runs along my cheeks, catching the tears that won't stop falling.

I lean into his touch and close my eyes. I let him sit me down on the bed. I keep my eyes close as he whispers, "I'll be right back."

Jungkook keeps his promise, he's back with a steaming cup in his hands.

It's May, it's warm outside, despite the rain, and yet in this moment I want nothing more than a cup of tea and warm covers over me.

Jungkook holds the cup while I climb under his sheets.

Once I'm comfortable and take a sip, I say, "Thank you."

Jungkook's eyes soften even more, I didn't think that was possible. 

He settles in on my right, over the covers, and leans in and kisses my forehead.

He keeps his right hand on my left cheek, "always," he whispers and I let sleep take me. It's only 4pm, but I am drained. Physically and mentally.

My eyes flutter open at the sound of Jungkook's voice.

Jungkook

"I'm sorry," I say to Sarah, "I can't go tonight."

I have to cancel our movie date tonight. I'm not leaving Grace's side.

When she walked into my room and I saw her face, I could feel my heart break into a thousand pieces.

Her lip was quivering and her eyes just looked so sad.

The fact that she came here first, of all places, damn, it warmed my heart.

She trusts me with all her being.

And when she hugged me it felt as she was going to break. I held her as long as she needed. Because she needed it, bad.

And as I said, I wasn't planning on leaving her side.

"Why are you bailing on me?" Sarah sounded upset.

We have been planning to see this movie together for a long time and I was looking forward to it.

"I can't go," I feel the mattress shuffle and turn my head left, "trust me, I would come if I could."

Hazel eyes, staring up at me from under long lashes.

Hell if I would ever leave her like this.

After Sarah wouldn't give up on demanding I give her a reason, I had enough. Didn't she trust me? I she would have told me she couldn't go, I would have understood and not pried for answers if she didn't want to give them to me. I trusted her, and this meant she didn't trust me.

And hell if I would ever tell her about what's going on with Grace. It's none of her business, I hated that Sarah loved gossip, I would most definitely not be giving it to her.

"I'm sorry, we'll go another night," I say once again and hang up.

"You don't have to stay in because of me," Grace looks down.

No way am I letting her feel guilty for needing a friend.

"Babe, I'm here for you," I lift her chin to make her eyes meet mine, "always and forever."

The small smile on her lips is all it takes to bring a big one to mine. "Now, what are we eating?"

Grace thinks it over and I am happy to see she is coming back to being herself, "Menu 4."

"Menu 4 it is," I pick up my phone and dial. I order the pizza - our menu 4 - I love that we have our own menus for different moods.

Menu 1 is Chinese, 2 is burgers, 3 is Thai and 4 is pizza.

While I'm downstairs to get the pizzas, I sneak some ice-cream behind my back and secretly place it in the mini-fridge in my room for later.

After finishing the pizzas, Grace looks better. Her eyes are still puffy, but some colour has returned to her cheeks and some light into her eyes.

It's eight o'clock. My mind wanders to Sarah and me cancelling our date, but being here feels right.

I pull out my laptop and put on the new show I've discovered. Grace has watched the trailer already and loved it. I knew she would.

Before pressing play I grab the ice-cream and watch Grace's eyes light up.

I settle on the bed and pull her closer.

She welcomes my open arms and snuggles up my chest. 

I press play and hope this will distract her thoughts, at least for tonight. Because tomorrow we have to talk about it.