Everything was silent as Jungkook was ready to say and confess. He never thought of himself doing this and all he could think of was the embarrassment and guilt that would fill him after. Jungkook rubbed his own hands softly and let out a sigh. He could feel goosebumps forming and all he could do was take a deep breath to sigh afterwards.

     "Jungkookie... You have to tell me.. It's the only way I can know more about you! I am your boyfriend and you should know that I would never use you or hurt you by knowing all of this. Shouldn't you trust me?" Jimin asked, trying to make himself comfortable so he could listen close to Jungkook now. The boy stood up and pulled a cabinet out to take out a knife that was wrapped in a small black cloth. This knife was hidden behind a cabinet so he had to pull out the cabinet in order to reach it. The boy then held it in his hand as Jimin watched in fear.

       "W-What are you doing..?"

         Jungkook then quickly swiped the knife down on his arm and watched the blood fall as he stared at Jimin. Not flinching or feeling a sting! This confused Jimin again, he has noticed it before but always thought Jungkook was just born with congenital analgesia where a person was born without the feeling of pain.

        "It wasn't that long ago... My head.. Was struck around here.." Jungkook added and pointed to a part on his head which was the parietal lobe. "The part where I experience pain was struck and it didn't really affect other parts of me.. Just my sense of pain." Jungkook mentioned as he watched his own blood run down his arm. "How did I get hurt...? Jyunhu. My only friend." Jungkook added as he cupped his would and ripped a piece of fabric from a plaid button up shirt. "Don't be afraid of me..." Jungkook added as he looked back at Jimin.

        "Not so long ago.. Years.. Or so? It's been so long.. I remember first moving in here... That's when I met him... My friend Jyunhu. The landlord's son."

Flashback

           I walked down the lively hall of the third floor with a box in my hands that had the remaining items for my room. I just needed to move furniture around and decorate. Back then, the third floor was packed with people there... I just managed to get this room... But it's not even mine. I lived across this room. Where the vent is. Since it was on that side, I had a balcony instead of a window.

         It wasn't until I placed my box down to open my door when a smaller boy walked up with a cute giggle and picked up the box for me to help me out. He had red vibrant hair, short, he looked like a small child yet he had his fair share of dashing features. He wore all black and loved to have his hair swept to the side to show only half of his forehead. He looked at me and said,

          "Hi! Welcome to the building! I live right across your apartment and I couldn't help but to wonder if you need help moving things around? I'm so glad I have a new neighbor!  Normally father wouldn't allow someone so young but I guess he made an exception!" Jyunhu said. He was very talkative and so far he annoyed me.. But who knew he would become more like a brother to me..

            Jyunhu showed up and talked to me almost everyday. He was becoming like a brother to me and I would stay over at his apartment. Stay there when he wasn't back from school so I could guard his things. I would draw there and spend most of my time there... It was the same room we are in today.

           It wasn't a matter of time that he began to see me more than a brother. More like a soulmate and he loved me so much. But I pushed that away. I wanted us to focus on being friends since I wasn't really open to considering my sexuality. However, when I would find myself leaning towards one gender I seemed interested in... He.. Would get jealous and cry. He would cry and I figured I shouldn't be with anyone to prevent hurting him. Out of the many things I could do, I didn't want to hurt Jyunhu. He was such a sensitive boy. Loving and funny yet very annoying.

             One day, Jyunhu ran into his apartment holding an envelope in his hands with the biggest smile ever. I would only see this face when he would smile so happily at winning a tested game since... He was the beta game tester. Not me. It was never me.

             "Jungkook!  Look I got accepted to go to a gaming tournament abroad!" Jyunhu shouted happily and looked at me with such excitement. Yet I wasn't pleased, I was worried.

            "You're joking right..?"

             "No! Ah this is going to be amazing! I can't wait to travel and see the whole world! It's a tournament so the winner in all games gets taken to other places to compete with other winners! I can finally travel the world, Jungkook!"

           "B-But your father..." I worried but Jyunhu only grew more upset and stressed over that.

            "He won't know! You'll stay here for me! After all. Just wear a black hoodie, face mask and you look like me!" Jyunhu added as I sighed in return. I was beginning to feel nervous since I would have no one to talk to everyday but just sit there and work on the job I had before. Writing and that was all.

           "But do you really have to go..?"

            "What other choice do I have?! I hate it here and I don't want you to feel like I torture you with this. Eventually I have to leave or else Father will just keep me here forever... He wants me in his reach and I just can't! All of those things I told you before.. What were they?" Jyunhu questioned me and I felt like tearing up already from how lonely and empty I'll feel. It was like I was going to lose my brother and never see him again. I was very fragile.

             You wanted... To explore the world and travel. But I... don't want you to go. W-What if... I want you to stay? What if you stay... for me?" I tried and tried to convince him. It was selfish of me but I never payed attention to what I was doing.

           "If I stay here... I'll die here. You know that very well already. When I leave... Promise me there won't be any harsh feelings.. Okay?" Jyunhu tried his best to convince me.. But I shut him out. I denied him and ignored him. There was no way I was going to masquerade as him to say he was here and fool others.

       Many people looked at us as a couple. I despised that. He would also sing to the many people through the vents and made others feel so happy. He did this as a boost of confidence and I couldn't help but to feel happy when he would sing. I didn't love him... I loved how caring he was to others. Sings to them, talks to them... All those things I could never do. He was this perfect social butterfly. Everyone practically loved us together except for me and the landlord. We highly despised this type of attention. But that didn't stop Jyunhu from treating me like he loved me every second. But I thought of it as torture.

            One day... I was drawing in the dark.. I didn't want to turn on the lights since I was upset. Jyunhu always came back to mention how much he loves travelling and I was sick of it. Jyunhu walked in and giggled as he stared at me draw in his dark room.

         "Drawing in the dark again? Doesn't your eyes hurt?" Jyunhu asked and tilted his head cutely. "Draw me, Jungkook!" Jyunhu begged. I knew this was stupid... He would always ask me to draw him. He would easily get jealous to the point he would cry if I draw another person. Like my family or my Mother.

          "No... I'm not going to draw you.."

         "Why..?  Is it because I have plans to leave Busan to travel? Ah, you aren't making things easy for me!"

        "Maybe... Maybe I am angry about that or maybe I just don't want to waste pages on you. Leave me alone... There's no room for you." I shot back and suddenly I had the sudden urge to hit him or abuse him if he tried to leave me. "I don't want you or need you..." I lied. I did need him but I did this to show how much I was in pain.

      "You can't be like this.. I won't be gone forever now..."

       "I told you if you leave... I'll hate you so don't try to come back. I'm warning you."

        "You... Don't mean that... You know what? so you won't hate me when I get back... I'll show you how much you need me.." Said Jyunhu as he walked up to the curtains of the room and drew them open along with the sealed windows that showed the sea. Jyunhu got onto the railing of the window and looked down to the sea as he pointed to the ocean. Looking back at me with a tearful face while he kept pointing.

         "Stop pointing to the sea, idiot... Get down from there." I hissed but he wouldn't listen.

          "I-If... You miss me... Think of the sea... You know how much I love it... So, if you want to remember me, talk to me through that?"

           "Idiot... Such an idiot... 'Talk to me through the sea' ugh..." I growled and couldn't contain myself. The night was silent as all I could hear was his sobs as he cupped his face to cry. I regret standing up and dropping my fist down onto the table to shout. "SHUT UP!"

           "Jungkook... How could you say that to me?! I love you!" Jyunhu confessed but all I felt was disgusted. He got down from the railing and walked up to me with his arms wide open. "Please... H-Hug me and tell me you love me. D-Don't hide it."

        "N-No..."

      "Jungkook.. I-It's okay to be this way.."

       "I don't love you! Stop it!" I replied but he only continued to cup his face and cry even more.

           "You love me... We became best friends and got to know eachother the first day!"

          I desperately looked for something to hit him deep down...I wanted him to feel what I felt. Hurt.

        "No... I only became your friend because I pitied you." I fired at him. Breaking his heart as he stared at me with more tears in his eyes... I knew at that moment I broke him deep down to the point were only anger filled him as the only way to seal his broken heart from this.