"Oh God, we are completely drenched." Cami says as we walk in to our flat back from school.

"Yeah, we should quickly change our clothes. Especially you 'cause you get sick quite easy."

"Okay, mum." She says and I just roll my eyes and we both laugh.

I turn on the heater and go find some dry comfy clothes. Cami is already changing and talking about and idea for her essay and I try so hard not to look at her. It's weird when you are best friends with someone for years and then suddenly start to develop feelings for them. I've seen her in underwear about a million times, but now I suddenly feel weird and like I'm seeing something forbidden. But I feel like that also in totally normal situations. She can just be rambling about something or just quietly sitting and I'll catch myself as I stare at her. Not only that she's the most beautiful human being, she is also the kindest person I've ever known. I can talk to her about anything and always be myself. She is my person. She is my everything. But we probably can never be together. I mean she knows I'm bi, but I don't know if she is. And even if she were, I don't think she would like me like that.

"Do you want some tea?" Cami interrupts me from my thoughts.

"Yes, please."

"Cami? Did you tell your boss about tomorrow?" I ask her. It's her birthday tomorrow and I asked her if she can get early from work for her birthday surprise. I'm also skipping work so that I can bake her a cake while she's at work.

"Yeah, I did. But I already feel like you did too much for my birthday and you didn't have to."

"Shut up." I silence her. "You are my special person and so you deserve a special birthday. End of discussion."

She rolls her eyes and says: "I love you."

"Love you more". I say and hug her.

"Imposssible." She says as she is hugging me back. But it isn't. Because I really do love her more. I love her in a way she will unfortunately never know and understand.