(WARNING: Self harm is mentioned in this chapter! If you do not approve, you'll probably hate the rest of this book. Really. It just gets worse. Self harm is a serious thing. It is hard for me to write, as a person who self harmed for nearly two years and still fights the urge to this day. All the descriptions in this chapter and on are how I felt about the subject and how I sometimes still feel.)

Edward was in the bathroom. Had been for the last half an hour.

Trembling, sick, and yet so damned relieved.

Relieved because he felt something other than exhaustion and nausea and guilt.

He felt pain. Blissful, agonizing pain.

His skin was on fire.

He hadn't meant to do what he had, not at first. At first it had been in a bout of anger, his one good arm slamming harshly down onto his thigh with enough force for the skin to immediately start to bruise.

He couldn't remember what he had been angry about. All he could remember was that the pain had been exhilarating, letting him feel as though he had finally started to atone for his sins.

So he' done it again and again, until his entire right thigh was covered in dark, angry bruises. 

No one else was in the Rockbell home in that moment. Winry and Alphonse had gone to help one of the neighbors move, and wouldn't be back for a few hours, and Pinako had died a year earlier. He was utterly alone right then.

Edward couldn't help but stare at what he had done, a wry, cruel smile on his lips. He had never expected that he would ever be a person who willingly inflicted hurt upon themselves when he was younger.

But, then again, he had also never imagined he would kill.

And yet he had. So many people.

Thousands.

With that thought, his arm slammed down onto his leg again.

Pathetic.

Worthless.

Murderer.

He couldn't take it.

He just couldn't.

He couldn't.

He was a coward, hiding behind pain and guilt.

And he despised himself for it.

A solitary tear rolled down his face.

-361 Words-

Its not much but I figured I'd post it anyways. I'm not exactly in the best of places mentally right now so this chapter was hard to write. If any of you guys self-harm or are suicidal, my inbox is always open to talk. ~The_Sin_Pride