Serenity,

Why did you avoid me like the plague the next day? Were you ashamed? As soon as we got off from my dad's car to school the next day, you jumped off and ran into the crowd like I was some venomous snake that the more distance you had between us, the better. Even during class, you wouldn't see a single gesture I made and you made a point to ignore every word I said.

It's like you couldn't bear the fact that you shared your burden someone else.

Was it really so horrible that you put some of your weight onto me?

I didn't care then. I don't care now. I didn't care if you had to stab me in order to get your feelings out, I don't care if you scream loudly enough for the world to hear that you couldn't bear with your life anymore. Shout if you wish, do it all by my side. I'm proud to let everyone know that I love you, but somehow, I can't admit it to you. My cowardice holds both of us back, forcing us into a hole of despair that you don't deserve.

Why can't I just be braver? Why can't I just suck all my cowardice up for a moment, force it away from my mind for a few minutes before I could tell you that we're still okay, we're still friends. If anything, we were closer, not further away.

I didn't say anything. Even though I thought your eyes were still red and your shoulders still sagged from something unknown, something terribly heavy that still weighed on your back, I stayed quiet.

I wonder why you chose me as you friend? I mean, it is because I'll never ask, because this coward is too scared to ever say anything to you, so you never have to say anything back?

I guess so. Nothing we ever said before you broke down and started screaming at me was meaningful. We always had these lights talks and we would both laugh, but something always stopped you before you could actually enjoy yourself.

You'd always hurry home. You'd never tell me why, just that your parents are strict.

Is it them? Is it them that's making you like this, that's forcing you into an impenetrable shell that you hope that maybe, one day, someone will get past it, once you're out of reach of your parents? Is it because I'm too early?

I'll figure you out, Serenity. I always wondered what my people-reading skills were good for other than my job, but maybe I'll figure you out. Figure out the enigma that hides day and night from me, telling me not to break those walls down as you try your hardest to make them thicker and taller, secluding yourself as far away from humanity as possible.

You know me. I may be a bit impatient, but I'm strong. I'll do this. Maybe this is where I learn to have patience. I can't push you; hell, I can't even push myself. But I'll find a way to do this. I'll learn about you, I'll find out everything that's necessary.

And then, maybe I can save you.

-Faolan