Toms pov

I had breakfast with Tord this morning. It had been the first time this whole week. What an accomplishment.
He always tried to spend at least a small bit of time with me the days he didn't have me follow him around the base.

Today, I had planned to chat with Edd again. And hopefully Matt.

•••

I pulled up facebook and immediately went to call Edd, ignoring all of his frantic messages from last night that he left.
I think I startled him when I hung up so abruptly.

"Tom! Finally, I thought you died. No joke."

I laughed and shook my head.
                  "No no I'm fine. It's just, I'm on Tords laptop. I don't want to be caught." It wasn't entirely a lie, but it still hurt to say. We chat for a while and I finally ask about Matt.
                 "Is Matt home with you?"

Edds face lit up.
"Oh, yeah! He's in the bedroom right now. I'll go get him." He got up and ran out of my frame of view on the call.

Matt and Edd sat on the floor together.
"What's up Tom?" Matt smiled cheekily.

                 "Do you...uh. Do you still talk to that one guy from high school by any chance?" I smirked and Matt look surprised.

"You mean Kyle?! Yeah! You- need stuff?" I nodded.

Poor Edd was left out in the cold, but I'm sure Matt would inform him later on.

                 "I'm actually in town right now," it hurt to hide my location to them. Saying this, it got Edds attention. "If I come by later, do you think you could have anything by then?" I stayed focused on Matt.

He smirked and stared typing on his phone.
"Totally. I'm on it now."

•••

Sneaking out of the base wasn't to hard. But finding my car keys was.
Tord had them hidden inside his sweatshirt pocket that was hung in the closet.

I pulled out of there and tried to find my way back to town. My heart was beating out of my chest the whole time.
If Tord found out that I left, which I'm sure he will, I'd be dead. As far as I know I had enough time to be out for only 6 hours.

Edd handed me a glass of tea as we all sat down at the kitchen island. They were all so excited to see me. I chatted with them about my non existent world trip.

                 "I'm going to pack some stuff up from my room. Would you give me a second please?" I stood up from my stool.

I pulled a suitcase out from under the bed and started packing my favorite things from our room.
Like my books. Only my favorites though.
I grabbed tshirts from Tords drawers and even a blanket off of his bed.

Matt left a baggie from Kyle in my top drawer. And even some put his old pipe next to it. I'll have to remember to thank him later for that.

I unpinned tapestries and posters from all around our room and packed those too.

I zipped everything up and wheeled my suitcase back to the living room.

•••

We tried to spend the most of our time watching a movie. But Edd kept talking over it. Which I didn't mind, I missed talking to him anyways. 

But sadly, all this had to come to an end eventually. The front door slammed open at the end of the foyer steps.

             "THOMAS!" Tord voices boomed throughout the whole apartment and my heart thudded in my chest.

Edd and Matt shot me worried glances as Tord stomped up the steps.
              "What the fuck is going on?" Edd whispered in a startled tone.

Tord immediately spotted me on the couch and his eye shook me to the core. He looked absolutely blood thirsty.

I stood up and tried to defend myself by speaking first.
                 "Tord! Just stop for a second. I only came to get some things! I didn't even plan on staying!" I tried to stay calm but my voice cracked right at the end, and I started to tear up.

I didn't feel to great to be caught going behind your lovers back.

Tord ignored me and proceeded to come and me, snatching me away from the couch. My arm stung in his grip.
                 "We've already talked about this, you cannot leave!" He dragged me towards the door and Edd went to pull me back but I turned away from him. "What part of not leaving is so hard to grasp?!" I flinched at his voice.
He never talks to me like this.

I paused and pulled back against him.
                  "Can I at least grab my bags?"

•••

The drive back wasn't fun.
Tord wouldn't even look at me.

He wouldn't even actually hold my hand as he dragged me back down the hall to our bedroom. He just pulled me at the wrist.

                  "I can't trust you anymore." My heart broke at the single sentence.

He locked the door behind us and put my suitcase up against his dresser.
                  "What was so important that you needed to go behind my back and sneak around? Please, do fucking tell." He started going through my bag.

This was so bad. I felt like a child who was caught stealing from the cookie car.

He pulled out his shirts and his blanket.
                   "What did you need these for then? Stealing my things." His face twisted with several different emotions. My face burned with embarrassment.

I took the blanket out of his fist and clutched it to my chest.
                    "I....I like these things."

He put the folded posters and wall tapestries on top of the dresser and turned back to me.
                     "If you wanted these things I could've went and got them for you." He still didn't sound to happy with me.

Tord continued to sift through all of my things, finally getting to the bottom. He paused and turned around to look at me.
                     "Tom....what the fuck."

•••

I had ended up locking myself in the bathroom.

Tord wouldn't even look at me at this point. We've sat and talked about it, the pot in my suitcase, he wasn't happy with me.

I left the room in shame and now I'm in said bathroom.

I thought maybe it would be something Tord would like to try. Maybe it would be something that could finally help him relax, because I obviously wasn't doing the job anymore. He hadn't declined the offer, but instead continued to get pissy at me for leaving to get it.

I came out eventually though. And Tord was no where in sight, much to my displeasure.

But that gave me the opportunity to smoke it alone. Which is exactly what I did.

I packed a bowl and stole a lighter from Tords nightstand drawer. I sat against the headboard and enjoyed myself.
I'm sure this would've been more fun if Tord was here to join me.

It brought back a lot of the feelings I held in high school.

•••

I laid against the pillows.
Tord still hasn't come back from wherever he went and I was getting really worried.
And it was getting pretty close to when the dinner serving time was out and over.
So if he doesn't come in the next half hour, I'd probably have to go look for him.

I debated getting up to go message my friends again on Facebook. They were probably so worried about me.

The door clicked as it was unlocked and in he came. His face twisted as he smelled the air.
Tord shook his head and gave me a disappointed glare.

I sheepishly grinned back.
                   "I'm not even sorry."

Tord took off his clothes and left them in the hamper. Then walked over to me.
                   "What makes this so important to you then? You really don't need this shit Tom."

I frowned and picked the bowl back up.
                    "It reminds me of you." I muttered and lit the herb again.

He sneered at me. And went to sit crisscross in front of me.
                     "How so?" He rested his chin in his hand.

                      "Well..you could take it poetically. As you make me feel better and more put together. As you make me calm and collected." I paused to sit up."Or you could take it as like nostalgia. I used to think about you every breathing second of my life in high school, not that I'm any different now. It was just different then....then I was only just falling in love with you. And let me tell you, if you don't already know, falling in love is probably the most stressful and beautiful feeling in the world. So, as a highschool student then, it felt better to be high than stressing over my liking for you."

Tord was at a loss for words.
                   "How....how long have you known?"

                   "Known what?"

Tord finally looked up at me.
                   "How long have you known that we were meant to be together. How long have you loved me?" He chewed his lip and my stomach flipped.

                    "Hell, I've loved you since middle school. Head over heals for you, actually. But I never knew if we were meant to be, that was the stressful part. I would give myself headaches every day thinking about that possibility of us not being soulmates. I prayed on my lucky stars that you would be mine one day. And here we are now."

•••

Tords pov

Tom told me loved me. Since he was twelve, to be exact.

10 fucking years.

It's hard to wrap my head around, if I'm being honest. But Tom took it all calmly and relaxed back in bed, reading a book.

So I just stared at him.
I could tell he noticed. He squirmed under my stare.

"Will you please stop." He snapped his book shut and turned to me. I flinched back and smiled.

"Min unnskyldninger, min kjærlighet."  I slipped up. Which I do quite often now.

Tom rolled his eyes.
               "You know I cannot understand you." 

I cleared my throats and spoke again.
               "I said, my apologies, my love." Tom nodded and went back to his book.

I started to get very antsy. How could he be so relaxed after all of this- oh yeah. Hah.

I sat up and looked over the pages of his book.
Tom groaned.
               "What do you want now, it's just a book Tord." He chuckled, as to not sound rude.

I shrugged my shoulder and continued to read the pages along side him.

Tom sighed and closed it again.
                "You know what, I have the perfect book for you!" He got up from the bed and stomped over to his bookshelf.
He grabbed one of the books he brought from home.

It was an old paperback, it looked so torn up. Many pages and papers stuck out around it.

Tom placed it in front of me and motioned for me to move away.
                 "It's really old, so please be gentle with it. A teacher gave it to me in 6th grade." Tom adjusted his glasses on his nose and went back to his own.

I turned the book around in my hand and read the description on the back.
                 "Which teacher?"

Tom smiled.
                 "It was one of our teachers actually. She taught our English class, Mrs.Garcia. You always hated her." He giggled.

I opened the cover and there was a note scribbled from the teacher on the page.
'Please take care of this like you would yourself.'

How odd.

I flipped a few pages in and read.

•••

Halfway through the first chapter, I saw my name written all around the page. Hearts and flowers decorated it. It must've been an important page.

I continued on and more pages looked like that. It made me blush, the thought of a 12 year old Tom scribbling around in a book over me.

At the end of the first chapter, Tom had written all over the page with pen.
'I didn't want it to end this way, so I'll replace it with something worth reading,' and the rest of it went on as him describing the way I write.
'He doesn't curl his j's,  or dot his I's. And when he begins a sentence he uses a cursive letter. I don't think he does it on purpose, I like that.'
            
It wasn't a lie, I did that. I never thought it was something that was noticeable.

Pages on, there was more. And more. More.
All little cover ups for the pages he didn't like, and he covered them with things he did like. Me.
In chapter three, there was a folded piece of paper stuck inside the binding. It looked torn up and old.

It was a note I passed him in class.
'Are you coming to matts after school? I have this new comic I want to show you:)'

I remember the days we used to sit on Matts bed and read my comics. I never really liked them after the first few, but I continued to keep buying more so I could read them with Tom.

I flip ahead more, and there was pictures paper clipped to a whole chapter. Chapter 4. It was pictures Edd took of us at his birthday party. I still had a baby face in all of them.

The first one was of us yelling at the tv when Matt killed us both in a game. The second one was of us jumping in the pool together, hand in hand. The third one was of Tom tying my hair up into pig tails. The fourth one was of Tom laying on top of me on the loveseat in matts basement.
I remember waking up Edd so he could take that. Tom had drooled all over my collar bone and I thought it was just so funny. And it still is.

I paper clipped them back to the pages of chapter four and went on. There were more notes I passed him in class. More pages with his paragraphs on me. And at chapter 5 there was 3 pages covered in sticky notes.
Sticky notes from our project in health.

The assignment was to write the things you like the most about another student and stick them on their body.
One page has all the ones I stuck to him. And the next 2 pages were the ones he had stuck to me.
'Your bright eyes'
'You have a really nice smile'
'Connect the dot freckles'

I smiled at all the things Tom saved. I looked over at him and he continued to read his own book. He's so adorable.

Chapter 6 was pages filled with comic book clippings. They were taped onto the page. Probably from a comic I had given him, I'd assume.
All of them were of scenes we giggled over, or my favorite villains.

Chapter 7, all the pages were whited out and doodles over. Little pen sketches of me. Small messages written all around them.

Chapter 8, more comics.

Chapter 9, my school pictures from 6-8th grade.

Chapter 10, had one single page that was tampered with. A crumbling flower was flattened between the pages. A tulip. And at the bottom he wrote,
'You gave this to me after we got into a fight. An apology. -2009'

That was the summer we got out of 8th grade. Tom was only 14, I was 15.

Chapter 11, pictures from that summer. Taped singly on every page front and back.
Pictures of us downtown eating ice cream. A few pictures of us on matts roof with Edd. A picture he took of me when we were looking at the stars. More from our camping trip. Pictures of me climbing a tree over the lake, and more of me jumping in.

I felt like I was reliving that summer. It felt like I was reliving the best moments of my life, all in one single book.

I reached over and grabbed Toms hand as he was reading.

He paused to look at me and his eyes widened.
                  "W-why are you crying?" He put his hands on my cheeks and wiped away the cold tears.
How had I not noticed I was in tears?

I smiled.
                  "I do love you. You know that, yes?"

He smiled lopsidedly back.
                  "Yes, I do. And I love you more."