Tord sat at the end of the bed. Time ticked by as he got sucked deeper into his thoughts. It had been 2 days since the fight, and he still hadn't moved to look for Tom. He'd sat in bed every night since just staring at the bedroom door, like that would make him suddenly rush in to forgive Tord.

Pangs of guilt struck his heart every time Toms words rung in his head.

" I... I fucking hate you!"

His teeth clenched tighter down then he had before, if that was even possible.

It wasn't supposed to be this way! He was supposed to forgive him and help him move past this!
Not that it was Toms fault anyhow. He has all rights to lash out at him like this, sadly.

Tords eyes burned with salty tears as he remembered the pain in Toms face when he was on the phone with yellow.
The amount of pain and wronged love that displayed in Toms body language in that moment was almost poetic. How could he still focus on Tord alone as yellow did those things to him?

What else did he do to him?
Well, Tord never got a chance before Tom lashed out on him.

But, from what little he could ready from Toms face alone he knew that someone had attempted to help him out at one point. Like a medic.
Whoever that someone may be, Tord mentally thanked them for doing what he couldn't at the time.

How had Tom even managed to get up and storm out like he did? He claimed to be blind?

Blind.

The thought only pinched the guilt in Tord hearts more, picking away at what little he had left.

With an abrupt huff, he stood up. Wiping his eyes quickly with the palm of his hand. He walked silently out of the room.
He couldn't go any more hours without him at his hip. He'd given him his time, but now it was just getting ridiculous.

The two of them had been basically connected at the waist at one point. To have it suddenly not be a trait of their relationship was harder on Tord than you'd think.

•••

Calloused fingers tugged through the knots in his hair as he approached the kitchen. That was typically Toms safe place to go when he wanted to be alone.

And you can bet your ass that's exactly where he camped out for the past 48 plus hours.

Tord quietly peeked into the small side kitchen, scanning the room in a glance. He spotted Tom sat on the tile floor, his legs spread in front of him. And a plate on the floor between.
Next to him was a pile of cereal boxes, all opened. Pieces of different cereals scattered all around him.

Tom clearly had a fit.

But he still found what he wanted. The lucky charms. Dumped over the plate.
His small fingers felt over the surface of the pile, feeling for the marshmallows.

Tom picked them up one by one and flicked them across the room.
Tord slipped into the room. Slowly making his way to Tom. He kneeled beside him.

Just when he thought he had gone unnoticed, Toms gaze shot in his direction alerting him that he was well aware of his presence.

Tom took a deep breath and chose to speak first.
         "What do you want." His tone wasn't vicious like it was earlier, but still annoyed. Tom had time to cool down.

          "I w...wanted to make sure you were alright." Tord spoke so brokenly, the hurt in his voice couldn't go unnoticed by anyone. "...I..I thought you'd be back by now."

Tom furrowed his brows and turned back to the plate.
          "I'll come back tonight... but that doesn't mean I'm any less upset with you." He paused to flick back a greasy tendril of hair. "And I'm not taking back what I said." He whispered.

Tord chewed his lip. There were so many things that needed to be said between them. And yet he continued to hold back, for the sake of just having this one calm moment with him now.

He stood and stared down at him.
             "Are you s-sure you don't want to walk back with me?"

Tom grunted.
              "Tord....please leave me alone-" his voice choked at the end. "I just want to be by myself."

Tords face scrunched up, a mixture of emotions.
He was ready to have a sit down conversation with him. He wanted closure on this, and for Tom to be back in his arms once more.

He wanted forgiveness.

But he can't even get that, not now. Maybe never.

•••

Tord sat up against the bed, wilting away in his own guilt.

He'd already went through every single item of clothing in their closet. Every box on the dresser, every drawer to the vanity.

Their was no signs of this betrayal anywhere in the empty room. No signs, no clues.

He'll never know what made him do it. What made his own father, the man who took him in a helped raise him, would ever go against him in such a way.

So no here he was, sitting against his fathers bed, wallowing in his own tears.

His heart thudded in his chest harder as a new wave of fit escaped him.
"THIS IS WRONG! I KNOW HED NEVER DO THIS!" Tord thrashed around, pulling the ends of his choppy bangs.

"He said he'd live for this family....HE SAID HE LOVED US-" A growl escaped his throat. His fist gripped the comforter, and he threw it across the room. "HE SAID HE LOVED ME."

He rose to his feet and stormed over to the dresser. Books and nicknacks were thrown all around the room. The sound of the pages fluttering around, and the glass of figurines shattering were completely drowned out by Tords own cries.

Tord continued to scream and cry, eyes swelling the longer he went on.
He could hear the worried men on the other side of the door.

"Sir? Sir!"

"Are you safe in there?"

"Is everything alri-"

Tords fist collided with the glass of the vanity mirror then.
"GO AWAY! GO! LEAVE ME ALONE." The roar of his voice was enough to silence all the panicked voices.

He dropped to the floor once more, back against the stripped bed.

Moments went on with him alone in his muddled state. And then Tom stepped in.

Tord could here the soldiers outside the door forcefully trying to convince Tom to go check on him, with him retorting back with hisses and complaints. But the door finally latched shut and Tom was left to do what he had to do.

Tord continued to silently sob into his wrist. He hid his head in his knees.

Toms hand glided across the mattress, trying to work his way around to where he could hear him.

"...T-Tord?" His voice came out in a faint whisper. He continued down to the other side of the bed, hands palming the air as he searched for Tords huddled figure. He could only see a blurred outline of him up against the bed, and it hurt when he strained his eyes to focus. But it was enough to help guide himself to him.

"Tord? I wanna help you, I do..." Toms voice was laced with worry and concern for him.

Tord finally uncurled from his pity ball and glanced up in Toms direction. Realization hit him faster then the words leaving Toms lips.

"I can't comfort you if you don't help me ou-" Tom was pulled to his knees and trapped against a heaving chest. His arms immediately found their way around Tords neck and he hugs him back.

Tords muffled sobs wet the fabric of Toms night shirt.

Now, Toms only seen Tord cry 2 times throughout their whole friendship. He know that to a point, he counted. But this....this was a whole different cry. Different to Tom.

So different, it broke his heart to its last thread.

Walls came crashing down. Bell rang overhead. Birds chirped in the rays of the light that was the opening of Toms broken heart.

He pushed aside all the betraying thoughts of what Tord had done to him days ago, and moved forward. Moved on. He couldn't stay mad at him in a moment like this.

Tom untucked his nose from Tords neck and rose his lips to his ear.
"What's going on babe?" He whispered. So lightly, but it still held every emotion he wished to portray.

Tord attempted to calm himself down for a moment. Taking deep breaths, counting to ten. And just when he thought he had himself under control, he opened his eyes and saw Tom starring right back at him.

His chest erupted with a new wave of guilt, tears flooding his cheeks once more.

Tom panicked. He pulled himself up into Tords lap and buried his nose back into the crook of his neck. He cooed comforting words to him, rubbing circles in to the bend of his back.

When Tord hiccuped for the third time, Tom tried a different approach. Soft lithe fingers snaked back up to the base of Tords neck. They slowly curled into his hair, earning a sigh from Tord.

"Can you breath with me for a second?"

More soft, comforting words rolled off Toms tongue. Lulling Tord into a state of sniffling.

Eventually he stops. His eyes are puffy and his nose is red. But he could care less. Toms there, in his arms. And hes trying to comfort him. What could matter more than that alone?

Nothing. Nothing else matters.

Tord pushes his loss aside for the moment being and bring Tom to his chest in a second. Wrapping his arms around him in a snap, and hugging him so tight it could be considered lethal.
But instead of pushing away like he would have in a moment before this instance, he gave a content sigh and buried his nose deeper into his lovers chest.

•••

Tom had gotten him back to their room in one piece. It took a lot of convincing though,

"I am not going out there! I can't have my men seeing me like this!"

Tom gave a frustrated grunt.
"Like what?!"

Tord turned to him, away from the mirror, and dramatically pointed to his red puffy eyes.
"Are you not seeing this right now?!"

Tom giggled and shrugged.
"Can really see anything babe." Tord immediately flushed and went to his side to apologize.

"Yeah...I forgot about that."

And here they are now, sitting against the pillows and making the topic comfortable.

Tord also had broke the news to him about his parents 'passing'. Which Tom, gratefully, didn't witness at all.
But Tord was more focused on the problem at hand.

Now, Tom is not one to sit and mourn over things like this. And it wasn't any different now.
Yes, there were many times where he has chose to run away from his problems instead of confronting them, as like Tord, but this is something that he can't just walk away from. This is his life now.

He sighs and shuffles closer to Tord, living off of the heat that was radiating off of him.
"I can still see, ya' know."

Tords fingers worked their way into Toms messy mop of hair, that needed a good trim.
"What do you mean-?"

Toms eyes locked with Tords for a moment and he gave a lopsided smile.
"When I went to see the medic down the hall after our fight, I asked him if my vision would be completely gone at some point. I can still see shapes and outlines quite fairly. He said best bet is it'll be gone at any point this month, depending on how hard I strain myself." Tom sighed and sat up. "I've had a headache since we've gotten back to the base. I'm straining myself more and more every damn second! I'll be honest, I'd rather be completely blind then to have to deal with this." He gave a half hearted chuckle to lighten the mood.

Tord looked at him, awestruck. If it had been him in Toms situation, he'd be living out these last weeks to the fullest. But Tom would rather have it all gone and out?

"Then I guess we'll have to go sight seeing then soon." Tord said sweetly, trying to lighten the mood. Tom giggled at that, and shifted over him. He buried his face into Tords collar and breathed him in.

"Nah...Id rather not. I have all that needs to be seen right in front of me." He spoke sweetly into the dip of his shoulder and breathed in again. "Have I ever told you how amazing you smell?"

Tord out right laughed, kindheartedly though.
"I don't remember, probably." He laughed again. "What do I smell like then?"

Tom cuddled into him closer, his arms finding their way around his neck.
He had slowly curled his way all around Tord during the whole duration of their conversation.
"Well..you smell like you. You smell like cinnamon and cheap soap. I love it. Oh, and cigarettes. Taste like them too." Tom smiled coyly and his mouth found Tords.
Their lips worked together so fluidity, like they were meant to be together as like. Tord broke out in a grin after a few movements, his mind recalling exactly what Tom had said.

He likes the way I taste.

Tord ran his tongue over Toms bottom lip.
Who was Tom to deny him entry?

His mouth opened for him, and they immediately found eachother once more. Tongue batting to the back of Toms throat.

Rough calloused hands slipped under Tom's thin nightshirt. Small pale hands curled in to the tuffs of hair at the back of Tords neck.
Tom shifted upwards, straddling him at the hips. Earning a grunt from Tord.

Hands explore, clothes were strewn about the room. Spit was swapped, marks were made.

But this wasn't some hardcore makeup sex scene. This was both of them. In one setting to themselves. Learning eachother once more.

Fresh starts are always for the better of things, as they say.

•••

Tord woke up that morning to a hot bed. The room smelled of love and passion. He rolled over onto his stomach, watching the comforter rise and fall softly  as Tom breathed.

There was never a moment where he didn't absolutely adore him. Even when he was asleep he still dreamt of Toms soft features and the silky sound of his voice.

Tom shifted over, turning his head to him. The early sun that shone in from the window hit his face just perfectly. It made Tord sigh longingly, how angelic Tom looked.
He almost looked untouchable.

So, of course, Tord reached out and ran his thumb over Toms cheekbone. Almost as if to make sure he was real. Really here.

He stirred in his sleep. Grunted and arching his back with a stretch.

And he finally opened his eyes.

And frowned.

Tord watched as his small hand crept across the sheets. He met him halfway, intertwining their fingers together with a light squeeze.
He felt his heart swell as Tom gave a half grin.

But the feeling didn't last long.

                "Tord...I.." Tom chewed his lip. His hand slipped away from his and trailed up Tords arm. "..I can't see."

His heart sunk real quick. Really fucking quick.
His lip trembled slightly. But he held back.

Tord took a deep breath and pulled Tom into his chest softly.

                 "Don't worry... Ill take care of you."

                                       •••

After a quick shower, and Tord helping a panicked Tom get his head through the right hole of his shirt, they set off for breakfast.

At first Tom had insisted on walking on his own. But he had managed to run into 3 men full on. So Tord picked him up and placed him at his hip.
Tord always felt a sense of pride getting to hold him like that.

Later into that afternoon they layed on their bed. The sun was just setting.

"Ill miss seeing your eyes."

This caught Tord by surprise. He choked on air for a moment before catching himself. They sat in silence for what felt like forever before he had found something to say.

               "My eyes are different now...after that whole incident." His voice cracked near the end.

Toms heart crumbled. He started ghosting his
hands over his face, smoothing his lithe fingers across Tords stubbly jaw. 
                "Tell me about them..." he spoke so softly, it was almost muted compared to the birds music outside their window.

With a sigh, Tord took him by the hand and walked them to the bathroom. He sat Tom on the sink and studied himself in the mirror, grasping his hand for color.
                  "They are grey." Tom frowned and searched for Tords shoulder.

                   "Are you sure.. because I remember them to be the prettiest blue, like the sky when the sun first rises.."
He ran his hand back down to Tords hand, lacing them together once more.

                   "...they look dull. The color of the sky  before it rains." He said dissatisfied.

Tom broke out in a giggle. Tord didn't know how to react at first, but smiled along with it.
                    "Well, good thing I won't remember it then! Doesn't really reflect you." He continued to giggle.

Tom was just to pure. A gift from the gods.
Nothing gets in his way. Not even something as big as a missing sense.
That was one of the millions of things Tord adored about him.

                     "I love you."

(Might continue to a second book later on, but I'm not making that a promise.
•they live happily ever after.
•yes, they do eventually come out and tell Edd and Matt what happened long into the future.
•no, Tord never took over the world. But still kept his army in check for a few remaining years before he could resign and buy a house with Tom. Yes I know, very very fluffy and gay wow so cute. )