This chapter is dedicated to aphrice

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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Shattered

NANATILI akong tahimik sa tabi niya habang abala siyang magmaneho.

Hindi siya nagsasalita at nananatili lang sa daan ang mga mata niya.

Ang bigat sa loob. Hindi ako sanay na tahimik siya. Nasanay akong palagi siyang maraming sinasabi at maya't maya akong pinipikon.

Nang mag-park siya sa basement, sumakay na kami ng elevator at saka pumunta sa 13th floor.

Dito na siguro siya nakatira.

Naka-condo na pala siya.

Pagkapasok namin sa unit niya, nanatili lang akong nakatayo sa may pinto.

Dumiretso siya sa ref at kumuha ng malamig na tubig saka niya ininom iyon.

Muli siyang lumingon sa 'kin at nagtataka niya akong tiningnan.

"Diyan ka lang talaga?" malamig na sabi niya.

Hindi ako umimik. Hindi ko kasi talaga alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanya o kung paano ko siya kakausapin.

Kunotnoo siyang lumapit sa 'kin at marahang hinigit ang kamay ko papunta sa living area saka niya ako pinaupo sa sofa.

"Palit lang akong damit," paalam niya. Ngayon ko lang napansin na naka-uniform pa pala siya.

Tumango lang ako saka siya pumasok sa kuwarto niya.

Pinagmasdan ko ang buong unit at napansin ko na white and black lang halos ang kulay na mayroon sa paligid.

Sunod-sunod na naman ang pag-ubo ko. Hindi pa rin ako nagpapalit ng damit. Nahihiya akong magsabi kay Bell na makiki-CR ako.

Muli akong umubo nang umubo. Ramdam ko na 'yong lamig dahil sa lakas ng aircon.

Magkakasakit pa yata ako.

Kaya ayaw kong natutuyuan ng pawis eh.

Agad kong pinigilan ang kati ng lalamunan ko dahil lumabas na si Bell mula sa kuwarto niya.

Naka-shirt siya na white at shorts na beige.

Pinagmasdan ko lang siya hanggang sa makaupo siya doon sa isa pang sofa sa tapat ko.

"Feem sent me a text that you're going to meet me. That explains why I found you outside the dormitory. I know you'd go there," panimula niya.

Paano nalaman ni Feem na pupuntahan ko si Bell?

"Now you know that I no longer stay there," dagdag pa niya.

Nanatili pa rin akong tahimik at nakinig lang sa kanya.

"Why did you want to see me by the way?" Malamig pa rin ang boses niya.

Sa dami ng gusto kong sabihin sa kanya, hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan.

"Kumusta ka?" Sa wakas ay nakapagsalita rin ako.

Nagkibitbalikat siya. "Okay lang. Ikaw?" tipid niyang sabi.

"O-Okay l-lang din," nauutal na sabi ko at saka ko tinakpan 'yong bibig ko dahil sa biglaan kong pag-ubo.

"You don't look fine," saad niya saka siya tumayo para kumuha ng mainit na tubig at inilapag 'yon sa harapan ko.

Gusto kong maluha dahil sa simpleng bagay na ginawa niya. 'Yong bigyan ako ng tubig.

"Bell . . ." wala sa sariling pagtawag ko sa kanya.

Napatingin siya sa 'kin. "Yeah?"

Bumuntonghininga ako at pinunasan agad ang luha ko.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," basag boses na sabi ko.

Tumawa siya at muling umupo sa tapat ko.

"You don't have to, Ra. I cheated on you even before you and Gonz had sex."

He shrugged nonchalantly as if what he said was something to be proud of.

He doesn't call me Keen anymore. And that made my tears fall.

So, I was right. He hooked up with the girl who came out from his room.

Wiping my tears off my cheek, I forced a smile. "T-That's fine, I don't have to feel guilty anymore. That's g-great."

Agad akong tumayo at pinilit ko talagang 'wag tumulo ang luha ko.

"Thanks for your time," nakangiting sabi ko saka ko siya tinalikuran. Kasabay ng pagtalikod ko sa kanya ay ang pagpatak ng luha ko.

Ang sakit pala.

Lalong bumigat ang pakiramdam ko.

Aalis na sana ako pero natigilan ako nang bigla siyang magsalita.

"And you believed it."

Napaharap ulit ako sa kanya nang sabihin niya 'yon. Seryoso lang siyang nakatingin sa 'kin.

"You didn't trust me." He nodded, clenching his jaw.

"You didn't even try to ask me. You just chose to believe what you wanted to believe." He scoffed. "Was it fun, Ra? Was it fun to get back at me for something I didn't even do?"

He laughed in disbelief, his eyes remained fixated on me; alight with a fire that I rarely saw in him. He was very angry and this was evident from his eyes.

"How could you do that to me, Ra?" His voice cracked, tears started falling from his eyes.

"I used to hate Gonz but I still tried to be friends with him because you told me a million times how you value him as your bestfriend. And I f*ckin' believed that."

My heart was breaking, seeing him cry like this in front of me.

"I . . ." He trailed off, sobbing like a kid. "I trusted you, Ra. I trusted Gonz. I f*cking trusted you both."

I can't stop crying. Tears were just flooding from my eyes seeing how hurt he is right now.

"I used to hate Gonz but I ended up hating you more than I hate him."

His attention diverted to the door when someone rang the doorbell twice.

Wiping his tears off his eyes, he walked through the door and opened it.

Natigilan ako nang makita ko si Crissia.

Siya 'yong babaeng nakita ko dating lumabas mula sa kuwarto ni Bell.

She flashed Bell a smile and handed him the paper bag.

"You didn't eat all day so I brought you food," she said, still not aware of my presence.

Napatingin sa 'kin si Bell kaya napalingon sa 'kin si Crissia. Natigilan siya nang makita niya ako.

"O-Oh. Sorry, I didn't know you had a visi—"

"It's alright," Bell cut her off. "You should leave, Ra."

Nang sabihin niya 'yon ay para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig.

He told me to leave.

He told me to leave like nothing happened.

Like he didn't cry in front of me.

Like we didn't talk at all.

Like I didn't matter.

I forced a smile and just like that, I left.

I cried nonstop while I was inside the elevator.

Why does it hurt so much?

I broke his heart yet it felt like mine was the one being shattered.

Stop crying, Rara. You don't have the right to shed a tear. You broke his heart, remember? You didn't trust him. You were impulsive. You were irresponsible.

Parang baliw kong kinausap ang sarili ko.

Pilit kong pinapatahan ang sarili ko pero walang tigil pa rin ang pag-iyak ko hanggang sa makalabas ako ng building.

Ramdam ko ang panghihina ng tuhod ko kaya napaupo na lang muna ako sa hagdan at saka walang tigil ulit na umiyak.

Ang t*nga t*nga mo, Ra.

Hinayaan ko lang ang sarili kong umiyak hanggang sa mapagod ako.

Pupunasan ko pa lang sana ang luha ko pero natigilan ako nang biglang may umupo sa tabi ko.

"I didn't bring a handkerchief with me," he said, offering me his sweater.

"You can use that to wipe your tears, Ra," he added, making me cry even more.

"G-Gonz. . ." parang bata kong sabi at mas lalong lumakas ang hagulgol ko.

Napabuntonghininga siya saka niya pinunasan ang luha ko.

"I'm sorry you had to suffer like this, Ra. Because of me, this all happened," he said, sincerity was written all over his eyes.

Nang maalala ko bigla ang nangyari sa 'min, muling bumigat ang loob ko at tinabig ang kamay niya.

"You don't have to apologize, Gonz. Everything was my fault. I was aware of what I was doing, but I still did it."

I looked away and saw his car parked at the side of the street. I stood up and flashed him a half smile.

"I'll take the bus, Gonz. You didn't have to come pick me up."

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Tiana:

Hype. Naiyak ako no'ng umiyak si Bell. ;(

Soooo, how's Chapter 24? What can you say about the sudden appearance of Crissia on Bell's condo unit? And what can you say about Rara and Gonz's friendship? Can they be friends again after what happened?

Can I ask you another question, fam? Have you ever betrayed someone or have you ever been betrayed by someone you trust the most? Who always ends up suffering and hurting the most? The one who got betrayed or the one who commit betrayal? Why?

6 Chapters to go before the Epilogue.