CHAPTER NINETEEN

The choice

"WHO do you think you are? Captain America? Thor?" I scoffed in disbelief. "My God, Bell. You're not that strong! I told you a lot of times to take a break and rest."

I can't help but worry about him. Hindi siya marunong makinig. Napakatigas ng ulo.

"Sorry, love." He tried to calm me by wrapping his arms around my waist while I'm sitting beside him.

"You didn't listen, Bell. Look what happened to you." I let out a deep sigh, shaking my head.

"I'm alright, Keen. You don't have to w—"

"You're not fine, Bell. You overworked yourself mentally and physically," I interrupted.

Saglit siyang tumahimik at nagtaka naman ako dahil bigla siyang mapangiti at umayos ng higa.

"So, this is how it feels to have you as a girlfriend."

Napatitig lang ako sa kanya nang sabihin niya 'yon. Nasingit niya pa talaga 'yong bagay na 'yon sa ganitong sitwasyon.

"I love you, Keen. Sorry for making you worry," he said, closing his eyes to rest.

"Your family would be here any minute. I called them two hours ago," I informed him.

He nodded. "Thanks."

Seeing him in a hospital gown over a hospital bed didn't feel great. It made me worry so much because he wasn't the type of person that would be collapsing in the middle of a game. But today, he did collapse even before the game could've started.

Kaya paanong hindi ako mag-aalala?

"I messed up," bigla niyang sabi.

Nanatili ang mga mata ko sa kanya.

"We lost the championship game because of me."

"No, Bell. 'Wag mong isipin 'yon. You're not the only player they got! You guys are a team! They got your back even when you're not around to play."

"Yeah. And they still lost the game because I wasn't there. They were counting on me, Keen. If only you have seen their faces before we entered the arena. They even said that as long as they have me, we will surely win the game."

It pained me, seeing him like this. Tormenting himself for something he has no control nor he didn't wish to happened.

"I may not have seen their faces before they entered the arena. But I saw their faces when you collapsed. They worry about you, Bell. They didn't care about the game. They care about you. It was clearly written all over their faces."

Napamulat siya bigla.

"Really?" he asked, surprise was written all over his eyes.

I slowly nodded and flashed him a smile. "So please, get well as soon as possible and don't let this happen again. Alright?"

He smiled back and nodded. "I love you."

Nang marinig ko iyon ay kusang gumaan ang loob ko. Tatlong salita lamang 'yon pero ang lakas ng epekto sa 'kin.

Para akong baliw na walang tigil sa pagngiti dahil nagpapaulit-ulit sa pandinig ko 'yong sinabi niya.

Maya-maya lang ay dumating na ang parents niya kasama sina Feem at Denver.

Humalik ako sa pisngi nila Tito at Tita saka ko binati sila Denver at Feem.

Kinamusta nila si Bell at tinanong kung ano'ng nangyari, pero dahil ayaw ni Bell sabihin sa kanila na sinagad niya masyado ang katawan niya ay ako na mismo ang nagsabi sa kanila. Ayoko namang ipagkait sa kanila 'yong totoong nangyari lalo na't alam kong mahal na mahal nila si Bell.

"Bili lang akong pagkain," paalam ni Tita.

Agad akong tumayo. "Samahan ko na po kayo, Tita."

Ngumiti siya at tumango.

Bumili kaming pagkain sa Shakey's dahil 'yon ang pinakamalapit dito sa ospital. Lalakarin lang sa tapat. Habang hinihintay namin i-serve ang order ni Tita, bigla siyang bumuntonghininga.

"Bell was too good in time management. I know that because I've seen how responsible he was pagdating sa oras. Pero sa sobrang responsable niya sa oras, napabayaan niya naman sarili niya."

Bakas sa mukha niya ang sobrang pag-aalala. She wasn't the biological mom of Bell, but she treated Bell with so much love and assistance. Their love for each other was so pure and true. That's why Bell loves her so much. Feem told me about it all. When she finally became a Creos, she told me the story behind her Mom and the Creos family. I didn't want to believe her when she said that Bell has always been a great son, but when I got to know him better, I've seen it through him.

"No matter how good he is when it comes to handling time, an athlete with a premed course will still drain him," I commented, slowly shaking my head.

"I know that too, Rara," she said, flashing me a small smile. "But he really wants to become a doctor."

I remember Bell telling me that.

I've always wanted to ask why, but I didn't get the chance to do so.

"His biological mom died after giving birth to him. And according to my husand, she died that night because she had a weak heart. She was sick and they found out about it too late." She paused. "Bell knows the story behind her biological Mom. His Dad told him the whole story when he was three. And he told him again about it when he was four. And told him about it again when he was five. The story itself made him want to become a doctor. There's something about the death of her mother that obsessed him to become a doctor."

Natigilan ako nang marinig ko lahat ng sinabi niya. Hindi nabanggit sa 'kin ni Feem ang kuwento tungkol sa biological Mom ni Bell. Although alam ko naman na namatay na noon pa 'yong Nanay ni Bell, hindi ko alam 'yong dahilan kung anong ikinamatay.

Letting out a deep sigh, I held her hand. "But that's the problem, Tita. He wants to become a doctor but he loves volleyball so much at the same time. Hindi man ngayon, pero darating at darating pa rin 'yong oras na kailangan niyang pumili."

Hinawakan niya rin ang kamay ko.

"I'm glad my son got to meet someone like you, Rara. Parehas tayong mag-isip."

Napangiti ako. "You raised him well, Tita."

***

PAGKARATING ko sa klase, nagtataka kong tiningnan si Bell dahil maaga siyang nakapasok at wala siyang dalang ibang bag bukod sa bag niya for acads.

"Wala kang training?" tanong ko pagkaupo ko sa tabi niya.

Ngumiti lang siya at inabot sa 'kin 'yong mga librong hiniram ko sa kanya.

"Wala," sagot niya saka siya kumuha ng isa pang libro at nagbasa.

Himala, wala silang training?

Umiling na lang ako at nakinig sa prof namin na abalang i-discuss sa 'min 'yong readings na binigay niya sa 'min no'ng nakaraan.

Lumipas ang buong araw, nagtataka pa rin ako kung bakit kasama ko pa rin si Bell. Bandang 4PM kasi lagi siyang umaalis para pumunta sa gymnasium dahil sa training nila.

Napansin ko rin na ilang araw na siyang tahimik. Nakakapanibago.

"Saan mo gustong kumain?" tanong niya sa 'kin. Agad kong naaalala na hindi pa nga pala kami kumakain ng lunch. Sobrang busy kasi namin buong araw.

Inaya ko siyang mag-samgyup kasi kahapon ko pa gustong kumain no'n. Pumayag naman agad siya.

Naninibago ako sa pananahimik ni Bell buong araw. Pati ngayong kumakain kami ay tahimik lang siya.

May mali eh. Parang may hindi ako alam?

Magtatanong pa lang sana ako sa kanya kung ano'ng problema pero natigilan ako nang bigla siyang magsalita.

"I left the volleyball team." He flashed me a half smile. "You were right, Keen. I can't have it all," he added, sadness overflowing in his eyes.

"So, I chose to let go of the thing that I love in order to chase my dream and become what I want. Because what you loved doing and what you want to become aren't always the same thing."

Wala akong ibang maramdaman ngayon kundi halong lungkot at saya. Lungkot dahil kinailangan niyang pumili at bitawan 'yong isa. Saya dahil nagkaroon siya ng lakas na loob para piliin kung ano ang mas mahalaga sa kanya.

Can't your dream be something that you love? Does it always have to be 'love what you dream' ?

______

Tiana:

No more Creos on the court ;(

Let me ask you, my agápi. To you, what is a dream? And what is your dream? Do you agree with Bell when he said that "what you love and what you dream of aren't always the same thing." ? If yes, why? If no, why not?

11 Chapters to go before the Epilogue!