It had been almost three weeks since Bernie passed away. Swayde was slowly, but surely healing. He had hit the rock bottom last week, but after their talk, Renne stuck by his side, and Swayde had kept his promise, talking through the pain and hurt. 

            Now, these last couple mornings, Swayde was feeling better than he had all month. Today, however, Swayde was in the middle of his barn chores when he got a text from Bernie's wife, Martha. Reading it, he let out a sigh, then looked up to the sky. "Alright, Bernie." Walking to his house, once chores were done, Swayde walked to the fridge, needing a cold beverage; this July heat was getting ridiculous, it was a little after nine, but already the heat was swealtering. In the back on the bottom shelf of the fridge, Swayde saw he still had a six pack of beer. 

            It hadn't even phased him, but the sight made him realize that he hadn't drank a drop of alcohol at all these last two weeks, since him and Renne had their big talk. He didn't crave it, didn't need it anymore. It was a freeing feeling. Taking the cardboard carrier to the sink, Swayde turned on the water, and opened each bottle, pouring them down the drain one by one. Opening the cap on the last bottle, Swayde held it in his hand, staring at the label. He didn't even realize it before, but he was drinking Bernie's favorite brand of beer. 

           Holding it up in the air, he said, "This last one's for you, Bernie." Then took a sip, carrying it outside with him. Taking a seat on the porch, Swayde stared out over the land that he was blessed to call his own. Recently, he had found himself thanking God more and more for the little things, knowing though they seem small, they're big indeed. 

           Glancing down at his phone, Swayde saw he had a text from Kyle, in response to Bernie's wife's text, but looked back up when he heard a car door shut. 

            Renne closed the door on her truck, walking up the sidewalk to Swayde's porch. "It's a little early for that, don't you think?" Renne said, partially teasing, nodding to the half empty beer bottle next to Swayde. 

           Swayde didn't respond, just scooted over, leaving room for Renne to sit next to him on the steps. Pulling up the text he had received this morning, Swayde showed his phone to Renne. "It's from Martha, Bernie's wife." 

             As Renne read the text, Swayde took another swig of beer. Martha had sent two texts. One in a group chat to all the guys, and the second text was just to Swayde: that's the one she was reading right now. 

             Martha had explained that she had began going through some of Bernie's stuff, mainly his rodeo stuff, and Bernie had always said that if he went first, he wanted "the guys" to have most of his rodeo stuff, namely Swayde. Though Bernie was almost twenty-some years older than Swayde, they had been best friends; Bernie had taken Swayde under his wing, and mentored to him over the years. 

             In the group text, Martha had thanked all the men for coming to the funeral, and for making Bernie's last memory of them all hanging out to be a good one. She thanked them for the years they all got to spend together, and said that she wanted to have all of them over to her place for a meal, and so they could all go through Bernie's stuff, picking out the items they wanted. 

            Renne set Swayde's phone down next to him. "That's great, Swayde. You're gonna go, right?"

            Swayde picked at the label on the nearly empty beer bottle as he told Renne with a chuckle, "Bernie taught me how to drink. The first beer I ever had was with him. There were a few times, I will admit, that after we both had really good runs, or horrible rides, where we maybe drank a little too much. We would start talkin' about the good old days. Sometimes we would talk about you...how you were the one that got away even though I have always known that you are the only girl that I will ever truly love. He convinced me that you would come back to Alpine Ridge eventually...back to me... One night, after a few beers, we made a promise to go on a road trip together. We would go take a trial ride through part of the Rockies...then the guys would meet us and we would all go see the Grand Canyon together...that was a promise we intended to keep, but we just kept procrastinating it. Life got too busy...Martha was pregnant with their second child, Doug got married to your sister and little Hope was on the way, one of the guys was doin' real good on the circuit and moved to Texas when we were plannin' all this, so our plans were never put into fruition. To this day, we still never got to take a ride through the Rockies of see the Grand Canyon...this all just proves that life is short." 

            Renne reached over and rubbed a hand over Swayde's back. "You can still do those things, Swayde." 

            Swayde finished off the last of his beer, setting the empty bottle behind him. "You're right. That's a great idea, thank you. Maybe I will mention something to the guys about it when we got to Martha's."

             "Swayde, why didn't you tell me about the phone call the day you got it?" She knew this might not be the right time to discuss this, but she needed to know. 

            "Because honestly...I was hurtin' too bad at the time...Bernie and I were really close. I don't think I'd be half the rider I am today if I didn't have Bernie. And I just felt like his funeral was something just me and my buddies had to do on our own. I just needed a few days to mourn and miss him, y'know. Plus, it didn't really sink in that he was really gone until we were getting dressed for the funeral. Bernie secretly liked dressing up, but always grumbled about it in the process. But," Swayde grabbed both of Renne's hands and continued, "I can now see that you were hurt that I didn't tell you. I'm really sorry. I know that we made a promise a long time ago to tell each other everything, and I slipped up on that promise. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you. I promise to be completely honest from here out. No more secrets." Swayde smiled.

             "No more secrets."

          "And, also," Swayde rubbed his thumb on the back of Renne's hands. "Thank you letting me have my time, even when it was hard."

           "You're welcome. I've gotten good at readin folks. Especially my boyfriend...and I knew that you'd talk to me about it when you were ready."

            "That being said, I think we are goin' to go pick up Bernie's stuff tomorrow. Would you like to come with me?" 

             "Yes, I would, but are you sure this isn't something that you need to do on your own, just you and the guys?" 

              Swayde thought for a moment, but then decided, "No, I want you there. If that is okay." 

             "Of course, Swayde, whatever you need." 

                                                                               ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            The day came and went quickly. Now, it was time for Swayde and Renne to go to Martha and Bernie's place to look through Bernie's old rodeo stuff, and pick out the memorabilia that they wanted. 

           Once they got to Martha's house, Renne sent Swayde off to talk to the guys, while she stayed behind to talk to Martha. 

           "How are you really doing?" Renne and Martha had been friends for as long as they had known each other, but they had never really been the type of friends that made plans to hang out. They just saw each other when they saw each other, even if that was just at rodeos, or the annual baling, or whatnot. 

           Renne sipped her glass of sweet tea as she shifted in her seat on the front porch, that faced the old, big, red barn where the group of men were looking through Bernie's stuff. 

           "It's been tough. It just happened so suddenly, but I keep telling myself that he died doing what he loved, and that has given me a sense of peace about the whole situation. Honestly, one of the hardest parts has been trying to explain to the kids what is going on." 

           "I understand that part. When my sister passed, it was hard to explain to her two youngest why mommy wasn't going to be around any longer. Even some days, the two oldest kids still ask, and it just breaks my heart." 

            Martha rocked back and forth slowly in the white rocking chair. "Your nieces and nephew are very lucky to have you." 

            "Thank you." 

            "How is Swayde holding up? I know he was probably the closest to Bernie." Martha cast a glance at Renne, reading her body language. 

          "You know, it was really really tough at first. It hit him hard, but he's workin' through it. Some days are better than others." Renne spoke honestly. Heck, she was still working through her sister's passing. She still felt like there was so much unfinished business. Even though there were times the sisters didn't get along, and Renne didn't agree with everything her sister did, in the end they were still sisters. At times, Renne still found herself pulling out her phone, ready to call or text Mallory, forgetting there wouldn't be a response. 

             "You guys are really great together. Very lucky to have each other." Martha smiled. "Don't ever let that one go. He's a great one." She pointed to the barn, but Renne knew she was talking about Swayde. 

           Renne inwardly laughed, thinking that right now Martha sounded an awful lot like Marjorie. She was very blessed to have them in her circle of friends. 

                                                                                     ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            After a few hours of looking through Bernie's stuff, and enjoying a meal with all the guys, it was finally time for Swayde and Renne to head home for the day. Swayde left with a box full of stuff, some stuff that Bernie had specifically set aside for Swayde, and some tack of Bernie's. Placing the tack in the barn, Swayde carried the box into the house, setting it on his kitchen island. 

            Renne followed him the whole way into his house, watching him as he hung his head low, resting a hand on either side of the box. 

           A noise escaped his mouth, which Renne attributed to the start of a sob. Reaching out to him, Renne rubbed a hand over Swayde's back, trying her best to comfort him. This was "the cry" - a pain staking, body shaking cry that nearly everyone went through when they were grieving. Renne had gone through it herself, and though it is painfully hard at the time, after letting out your emotions through the tears and sobbing, it seems like that's when the healing really starts. Renne knew that Swayde hadn't cried since finding out about Bernie's passing, so she was glad he was finally letting it hit him, and he was getting it out. 

           Tears began cascading down Swayde's cheeks as he turned around, his back resting on the kitchen island, sliding down it to the ground, he brought his knees to his chest. Plucking his cowboy hat off his head, he threw it to the side, banging his fist against the wood of the kitchen island, leaning his head back against it. Renne fell to the ground with him, fully embracing him in her arms. "I'm sorry, babe. I'm so sorry. Let it out." Rocking him back and forth, she whispered, "Oh, sweetheart." She didn't even try to calm him down, she knew he needed this, no matter how painful it was for her to watch. 

         Sobs wracked Swayde's body, loud, powerful, harsh sobs. "I can't believe he's gone, Reg." The words came through the tears, barely understandable. "I didn't think it would be this hard." Seeing Swayde in this state broke Renne's heart, but she knew he needed this to happen so he can heal. Holding in his emotions wouldn't do him any good. 

          After what seemed like forever, Swayde's sobs slowed, his body relaxing back to a normal state. "Sorry, darlin'. I don't know where that came from." His voice was quiet.  

          "There's nothing to be sorry about. You don't need to apologize. I hate seeing you hurting. But this is healthy." Renne reached up and wiped a tear off of Swayde's cheek. 

           "I'm supposed to be wiping away your tears, not vice versa." Swayde said and chuckled. 

          "I don't mind. I'm glad that you are comfortable enough with me that you are able to cry. You know you've always got my shoulder." 

           Swyade reached up and grabbed Renne's face with both of his as he brought it closer to her. Leaning down, Swayde placed a kiss on Renne's soft lips. "I love you, you know that?" Swayde whispered with his face about and inch from Renne's. 

               "I love you too." She said, fingering his hair. Swayde placed one more kiss on his lips before pulling her into a tight hug. 

               Several minutes passed with them sitting like that, in each other's arms, on the floor in Swayde's kitchen. Renne knew that Swayde was still hurting, still grieving, but she knew that at least now, he would be okay. 

                                                                      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                "So, I've been thinkin', and plannin' something." Swayde and Renne were out working on fences. Renne held the bucket of fencing nails, and the hammer, while Swayde strectched and held the wire fence roll. 

             "Oh yeah, what's that?" She was thankful that her cowboy hat blocked some of the sunlight that was hitting her bare shoulders and chest. Today was a poor day to wear a tank top with no sunscreen. 

            "I made some phone calls, but I wanted to organize a charity rodeo...like a remembrance thing for Bernie. The rodeo ground thinks it's a great idea, and they would love to do something like that for him." 

           Renne stood up from her bent position, hammering in the sharp "U" shaped nails. "Swayde, I think that is a wonderful idea! If you want, I can call around and see if some businesses are willing to donate some baskets, or money, or things like that."

          "Yes, please. That would be awesome. I wanted to ask you, but wasn't exactly sure how." Swayde rested his arm on top of the fence post. "Thank you, babe." He wanted to kiss her, but it was way too dadgum hot out. 

          "Yeah, we can talk tonight, and figure out who all you want to sponsor the deal. And I will make some phone calls this week." Renne smiled, under the stress of the heat and sweat. A rodeo in honor of Bernie was a great idea, and Renne had plenty of expertise in the area of making phone calls, and organizing events. It gave her joy to do it. 

          Swayde stretched the next piece of fence out of the roll, pulling it tight, holding it in place as Renne hammered a staple into the top, middle, and bottom wire. Backing down the line, Renne took a second to breathe while Swayde got the next section ready. "I had another idea, too." Renne started, biting her lip as she watched her man work. 

          "Yeah, what's that?" Swayde had started the day with a thin, long sleeved plaid shirt, but now he was just down to a sweat stained white t-shirt. 

            "I thought, too, maybe on the anniversary of his passing, or a day of y'alls choice, y'all could take that ride through the Rocky Mountains, and the Grand Canyon, and take Bernie's horse with you." 

           Swayde straightened. Only 20 more fence posts to nail this fence to, then they will be done...with this section. A smile came through his heat stricken face. "See, this is why we are so good together. I think that is a wonderful idea, Reagan, thank you. We definitely need to do that, thank you." 

          Renne nodded. After they were finished with this section of fence, Renne and Swayde took a break to eat their lunch Renne packed them. Sitting under the biggest shade tree they could find, they were thankful to get away from the beaming sun for a few minutes. Knowing if they sat too long, they would grow tired and lose motivation, so not even ten minutes after their break started, it was over. 

            Riding the Gator to the next section of fence, the breeze was enough to cool the couple down. Each drinking a bottle of Gatorade to replenish their electrolytes lost in their sweat, Swayde and Renne started back on the next section of fence. 

            As they worked, Swayde couldn't help but steal the occasional glances at Renne when she wasn't looking. Even though her shoulders and chest were as red as a lobster from the sunburn, she was dripping in sweat, and the ponytail she had pulled her hair back in under her cowboy hat was a mess, Swayde couldn't help but think she couldn't have looked more beautiful. This was the kind of stuff he always pictured them doing together, and the sight made him know, without a doubt, that Renne was the woman he wanted to run ranch with the rest of his life.

            Right then and there, Swayde made a decision. Tomorrow, he had a very important trip into town that he had to make.