"Hey, hey, kiddos." Renne pulled her ball cap down further over her head as she walked to the edge of the soccer field where Doug, MJ, Hope, and Susan all sat. Taylor had a soccer game today and had kindly invited Swayde and Renne to come and watch. 

           "Auntie Reagan!" Susan and MJ ran up to her, enveloping her in a huge bear hug. Hopie sat on her daddy's lap, more intrigued with the popsicle that she was eating, rather than what was going on behind her. 

          "Hi, Uncle Swayde." MJ's cheeks turned red as she greeted her aunt's boyfriend. Sure, even though Swayde and Renne weren't married...yet...the kids have known Swayde for their whole life, maybe even longer than Renne since she had a lapse of judgement and was gone from Alpine Ridge for those 5 grueling years. Though Swayde wasn't technically their uncle, he was still more of a relation than anyone. 

          "Hey, MJ. Susan. How are you guys?" Swayde walked with the girls as he watched Renne walk in front of him, going to greet Doug and Hope.

           "We are good." MJ skipped back to the blanket where her dad sat. 

            "Uncle Swayde." Susan grabbed Swayde's hand, tugging on it gently, making him look down at her. "If Taylor's team wins, can we go get ice cream afterwards to celebrate?"

          The sweetness and innocence of his "niece" always made Swayde's heart melt. Mallory's kids were just too stinking cute, and they knew that, so they know very well how to get whatever they want from their aunt and uncle. "I'll make you a deal, Susan." He smiled down at the little girl holding his hand. "Even if Taylor loses, we will still get ice cream!" 

           Susan's sweet face lit up; letting go of Swayde's hands, she ran back to the blanket to tell her sisters and dad the good news. 

           Swayde couldn't help but chuckle at the kids excitement over the news of ice cream. Making his way over to the blanket, he slid his arm out of the strap that held the two lawn chairs. Taking them out of their bags, Swayde set up the blue canvas chairs beside where Doug and Hope sat on the blanket. 

           "Doug, how are you doing today?" Swayde reached a hand down, shaking Doug's, greeting him.

           "It's a good day for a soccer game." Was Doug's response. His brown eyes were darker than usual. 

           Renne, watching the greeting, happened to notice Doug's left hand where a gold wedding band still sat on his ring finger. Her heart pained a little at the sight. It had been months since Mallory, Renne's sister, had passed away from cancer, but Renne knew there was no limit on love, or grieving. Even still, the sight kind of surprised Renne. In her mind, she just figured that since Doug and Renne weren't married for too many years, that he would have started to move on, but again, it had only been months. Heck, it took Renne almost six years after leaving Alpine Ridge to come to grips with the hurt the town and people brought her. If she was being honest with herself, she still really hadn't fully healed, nor moved on from what happened with-

          "Auntie Reagan, did you hear that Uncle Swayde said we could get ice cream after the game, even if Taylor loses?!" It was MJ this time. MJ's excited voice halted Renne's mental train ride down Regret Lane.

          Renne chuckled. Word travels fast. "Yes, I did. That is great news!" She smiled, giving MJ a high five when MJ offered one. Renne turned and grinned at little Hope when she said her aunt's name. Bending down, Renne picked up the happy toddler, securing her on her hip. 

           "Doug, why don't you give your back a break and take my seat in the lawn chair, and I will sit down on the blanket with this cutie." Renne bopped Hope's nose, making the toddler laugh. 

           It didn't take any hesitation from Doug to oblige to Renne's offer. Standing from the blanket, he arched his back and stretched his arms before sitting in the open chair next to Swayde. The two men made small talk about cattle and hay markets while Renne plopped down on the blanket next to her two nieces. Hope insisted on Renne sitting criss cross so she could sit in her lap and rest her back against Renne's chest. 

             Sitting back on her hands, Renne gave her youngest niece a kiss on the top of her head, breathing in her scent. The resemblance between Hope and Mallory was uncanny; honestly, they could be twins if they were the same age. It gave Renne a little sense of hope and peace that Mallory had left the world a mini-me, at least, in terms of looks. Mallory Junior, on the other hand, was very much like her mother in terms of attitude. Though she was only nine, Renne could see Mallory's rebellious, and sometimes reckless or wild, personality flowing through the young girl. 

         Susan was the least like her mom. She was a quiet, shy type, the complete opposite of her mom. Renne was sure that Susan got those characteristics from her dad. 

         Glancing to her right at Swayde and Doug, Renne couldn't help but thank God for putting Doug in Mallory, the kids, and Renne and Swayde's life. Even though out of Mallory's four kids, Hope was the only one that Doug had fathered, he still loved all the kids the same. For the first time that Renne had been an aunt, the kids had a stable home life, and someone to call their dad. Sure, Doug could have left when Mallory got sick, or skipped town with Hope after Mallory passed, but instead, he stayed and continued to love Renne's sister even after her last day on earth. He didn't leave the kids, that weren't biologically his, behind; he chose to take them in and continue to be their father. Renne was sure the feat had to be hard at times, knowing three of your wife's children were not your own, but Doug never let that show; he loved each and every one of the kids as his very own. Renne admired Doug for that, and for being the consistent rock that Mallory needed, especially in her final days. Instead of abandoning Mallory and the kids, like the other men in Mallory's life had, Doug chose to stay. He loved Mallory, and that showed beyond what words could say. 

          The sound of a shrill whistle brought Renne back to reality, out of her mind thoughts, for the second time that day. Looking to the field, Renne scanned the young players for her nephew. "Woohoo. Go Taylor!" Renne cheered when she spotted him. It was the start of the game. 

           Reaching to her left, Renne unzipped her camera bag and pulled out her camera. It was crazy how comfortable she still felt with the camera even though it had been almost a year since she had even snapped a single picture  with this camera. Granted, taking pictures of her nieces and nephews were not normally the kind of pictures she would take with her big camera (she normally just took pictures of them with her cell phone), but recently circumstances had taught her that life was short, so she should enjoy the little things, and quit putting stuff off, even if that meant slowly starting back to her photography. She had learned that when inspiration hits, to take it, no matter what it was, or how unsubstantial it seemed at the time. 

           Once Renne snapped the first picture on her camera, it was like a kid's favorite candy: she couldn't stop. At the end of the third quarter, (since this was kids soccer, not the pros- they have four quarters instead of two halves) Renne put her camera down, deciding to finish watching the game, since she had spent almost an hour watching the game through the screen and tiny peephole on her camera. 

           Needing to give her back a break, Renne and Doug decided to switch spots again, Renne replacing his seat in the lawn chair. Renne was thankful for the break, and thankful she could sit next to her boyfriend. With a grin, Swayde interlaced his fingers through Renne's, lifting her hand to his lips. They were happy. 

              Just as Renne got comfortable in her new spot, Swayde's phone played it's familiar tone, signaling he was receiving a phone call. Glancing down at his phone, Swayde's jaw tightened. Standing, he excused himself from his spot, walking far enough away that Renne couldn't hear the conversation. 

           After being away for over ten minutes, with Swayde missing the last of Taylor's soccer game, Renne continued looking around, trying to spot Swayde in the growing crowd, but with no luck. Taylor's team had won, so Renne pulled her camera back out, snapping more pictures of her nephew receiving his medal. Though Renne was smiling on the outside, on the inside, her gut was tightening. She had a feeling Swayde's phone call was not good, though she had no evidence of that thought, her gut was telling her otherwise. 

         Finally, after packing up their chairs and all their belongings, Renne, Doug, and the kids, all headed for their trucks. Renne finally spotted Swayde. He was sitting in his truck, staring at the screen of his phone. 

          When Renne ratted on his window, Swayde visibly jumped, not even glancing up at Renne. He rolled his window down just enough for Renne's voice to be heard. "Hey babe. Game's over and Taylor's team won. Taylor even scored a goal! The kids are excited for you to take them to the dairy barn for ice cream like you promised." At the sound of the word 'ice cream,' all four kids came running to Swayde's truck, all clamoring about how excited they were to go get ice cream. Renne chuckled; the kids were more excited about their sweet treat than they were about Taylor and his team winning the game. 

            "I can't take them to get ice cream right now. I have to get back to the ranch." Swayde's voice was quiet, deep. He still refused eye contact.

             When she heard him sniff, Renne couldn't help but wonder if Swayde had been crying for some reason. That phone call he received must not have been a good one, but Renne rattled her brain trying to figure out what happened. 

             "But you promised, Uncle Swayde." MJ's voice resonated sadness and disappointment. It wasn't like her uncle to renege on a promise. 

              "MJ, I said, not today!" Swayde shouted, instantly making tear swell up in MJ's eyes before immediately running to Doug's truck, hopping inside. A touch of regret flashed across Swayde's eyes after seeing he had hurt his niece with his uncharacteristic outburst. 

              Renne's eyebrows pushed together, creasing her forehead. "Hey, what was that for?" She asked through the barely open window. All the kids were now piled in Doug's truck, which was parked two vehicles down from Swayde. 

             "Reg, I-" Swayde's eyes finally drew to hers, but her gaze was enough to stop what he was saying. He swallowed hard, feeling the burning of tears rising to his eyes.

             "Is everything okay?" She wanted to reach in and touch him, kiss him, be there for him. This wasn't like him, so she knew something was going on. 

              Swayde cleared his throat, his gaze back to being glued on the steering wheel. "Yep. Just gotta get back to the ranch. Tell the kids sorry I can't take them to get ice cream." As he spoke, Swayde started his truck, and slid up in the seat, as if he was physically lifting up his emotions and moving on. Buckling his seat belt, he gave Renne a sideways glance, silently asking her to back up so he could pull his truck out of his parking spot. 

             Renne stepped back, watching her boyfriend maneuver his truck onto the road. There was something definitely going on. She was sure Swayde would tell her about it when he was ready, but she couldn't think what would cause him to just up and leave her like that. Swayde wasn't being himself, and that worried Renne to no end. All she wanted was to hop in his truck and ride home with him, demanding he tell her what was going on, but she also knew he needed some alone time, for whatever was going on, and she wasn't one to let her nieces and nephews down. She was taking them to ice cream. 

                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

             Hyped up on sugar after their trip to the Dairy Barn, Mallory's kids had begged Renne to let them stay at Mamaw and Papaw's house for the night. It wasn't hard for Renne to say yes. Since Swayde left her in the dust, literally, Renne hitched a ride out of Doug. He drove them back to his house to have the kids change clothes and pack up pjs, then the herd headed back to Renne's place for the night. 

             When Doug dropped the sugar buzzed kids off at Renne's grandparents house, he thanked her profusely, a look of relief crossing his face. It was like he had needed a break from being a full time dad to catch up on house work and ranch stuff, but wasn't sure how to ask for the help. 

          "I really appreciate you takin' the kids for the night. I love them to death, but it's almost impossible to get my work done and be a full time dad at the same time. I mean, MJ and Taylor are almost old enough to take care of themselves, or at least make themselves a sandwich for lunch, or help me on the ranch, but I get nervous takin' the two younguns out with us all the time cause they need a careful watchful eye. Especially Hopie. She walks so fast now that it keeps you on your toes to catch up with her." Doug chuckled, glancing at the screen door behind him and Renne. It was always hard for him to leave his kids, but he was very thankful to have the whole afternoon, and the next morning to catch up on things. "Thank you, again, honestly. Sorry to just unload them on you, especially hopped up on sugar, but I really appreciate it." 

           Renne chuckled, giving her brother-in-law a pat on the shoulder. "Honestly, it's my pleasure. You have nothing to worry about. It's my job as their aunt to have spontaneous sleepovers while hyper from ice cream." And you made a promise to your dying sister to take care of her kids... Renne blinked to get her mind back to reality. "I will drop them off at your place after breakfast tomorrow. Have a good night, Doug." Renne turned to head back into the house, waving at Doug as he left. 

           The second she was in the house, Renne could hear the screams and giggles of her sister's kids as they ran around the whole house, playing a weird game of tag/just run around and be crazy. "Hey, guys, why don't we go play outside?" Renne shouted over the commotion; she was worried the reckless sugar buzzed kids would start knocking stuff over or breaking the valuables in the house. Without hesitation, the gaggle of kids sprinted outside, all four of them trying to fit through the door at one time. 

           Renne furthered her way into the house, looking around for her grandparents. Mamaw was in her sewing room, and she informed Renne that her grandfather was in the barn, cleaning some tack. "I hope it's okay I brought the kids here. I know I should have asked first; they were just so convincing when they asked and it's almost impossible to tell them no." Renne leaned against the door frame as she watched her grandma's steady hands feed material through her antique Singer sewing machine. Her foot pressed down on the pedal softly, making the machine work. 

          "Oh, darling, you know I don't mind one bit if the kids come over or not. This is your house, too, and so you're allowed to have guests whenever you want, especially if it is my sweet great-grandbabies." Mamaw looked up from her project to give Renne a glance. "What's bothering you?" The insight of this woman amazed Renne every day. Renne thought she was hiding her concern well, but Mamaw knew her better than anyone, even better than Swayde at times. 

          Renne had been picking at her fingernails, her go-to nervous tick, but dropped her hands to her sides and straightened off the door frame, looking at her grandma. She didn't even bother asking how she knew there was something on Renne's mind; usually, when Renne asked, Mamaw would just smile and point up towards the sky, saying God and the holy spirit nudged her. "Swayde got a phone call today during Taylor's soccer game." Renne moved some material and thread off a chair, taking a seat. 

           "Oh, yes, how did Taylor's game go today? I was so disappointed that the timing didn't work out for your grandfather and I to go. I had a doctor's appointment this morning." Mamaw moved her glasses further up her nose, so she could see Renne better.

           "It was good, Taylor scored, and his team won. I even took some pictures." Renne smiled, it felt so good to be back taking pictures again. She missed it more than she thought she would. 

            "Oh, honey, that is so great!" Mamaw smiled, folding her hands down on her lap, almost as if to keep from continuing sewing. She wanted to give Renne her full, undivided attention. "But, you said Swayde got a phone call?"

          "Yeah, it was right at the start of the fourth quarter. Y'know, since this is kid's soccer, they have four 10 minute quarters instead of two long halves." Renne waved a hand in front of her face. "Anyways. Yeah, it was right at the end of the game. I couldn't see who was calling, but he walked to his truck and stayed there the rest of the game, and he even snapped at MJ when she heard him say he wasn't taking them to get ice cream." She drew in a long breath. "There's something goin' on and he won't say what, and it's scarin' me. I have texted and called him multiple times, but the calls just rang through and the texts were never returned. I just...I don't know what the phone call was about. Was it something about his ranch, or rodeo, or did he have a doctor's appointment that I didn't know about, or does it somehow have something to do with Matt? I mean, I just don't know." 

             "Well, maybe go over to his place tomorrow morning after you drop the kids off, if you haven't heard anything. Swayde gets this way sometimes, Reagan. Especially after you left those years ago. There were times that he would just shut down and not want to talk to anyone for a few days." 

           This was the first that Renne had ever heard about this. "Did he really? He's usually such a happy man, and nothing ever bothers him. I can't imagine him...was it because I left him, is that what caused it?" 

           Mamaw slowly nodded her head. "He talked to me about it a few times. He blames himself for what happened, you know, Reagan. He said he should have tried harder to fight for you, that he should have told you what happened with your parents all those years ago. It's been eating him more and more every day, Reagan. He's scared witless to lose you. Now that he finally has you again, his biggest fear is losing you." 

           Renne felt sick to her stomach. She knew she had hurt everyone she loved when she had sped off and left after she found the newspaper article that said that it was Swayde's older brother that was the drunk driver that killed her parents, but she thought that Swayde and her had worked through it since she came back. Inwardly, she kicked herself for causing the man she loved so much pain during the five years that she had left Swayde. Every day that she was away from him, her heart had longed for him, and for many years she had wanted to just leave Montana and go back to Swayde and her old life, but there was so much hurt. "But, how do you think that the phone call would trigger those feelings of me leaving again?" Renne was thankful to find the words that got her mind out of it's trance...again. 

           "I'm not sure." Mamaw's brow creased. "I just have a feeling that whatever the phone call was about, that inwardly Swayde is having insecurities. He knows you won't leave him again, but he is still scared to lose you. I am no genie or mind reader by any means, but the Good Lord has blessed me with wisdom, and I just have a feeling that you need to go see him tomorrow after you drop the kids off. I don't know why, I just do. Just give him time tonight, then go see him in the morning." 

            Renne heard cries coming from outside. Standing from her chair, Renne thanked her grandma profusely, than ran outside to see what caused the anguish. 

               "What's wrong? I heard someone crying." Renne was in mom mode. Her eyes scanned each of the children up and down, not noticing any visible scratches or bruises. 

             "Susan wanted to be 'it' in tag, but I told her it was Taylor's turn." MJ stood with her arms crossed over her chest. 

            "Well, why don't we play a different game, or start the game of tag over?" Renne tried to think quickly. What's a game that would expel their energy, but still give everyone an equal chance of playing? "I got it. How about duck, duck, goose? I will even play with y'all!" 

           The kids all obliged, quickly forming a circle on the ground. "Let's let Susan be it first." Renne suggested, holding Hope in her lap, since she was a little too young to fully understand how the game worked. 

             After a tiring hour playing duck, duck, goose, Renne was almost more wiped out than the kids. After feeding the kids dinner, having them all take their baths, and wrangled them up to bed, Renne took the minute to sit down in the living room. She sat with her pajama clad legs tucked underneath her, a cup of hot tea in her hand- it always helped her sleep when she had a lot on her mind. 

         In her other hand, Renne held her cell phone, trying to call Swayde once more. After it rang through, with no answer, Renne shot Swayde a text. "Hey, worried about you. Let me know you're okay, please?" 

         "Yeah, I'm fine. Night." Swayde sent back immediately.

          So he was ignoring her calls. But at least he texted her back. Trying not to think too much of it, Renne let out a sigh, carefully sipping her hot tea, reminding herself she would see him first thing tomorrow, after she got the kids fed and took them back home. 

            Renne's restless night was filled with dreams of bad thoughts, nightmares, and worry. She woke the next morning feeling like she hadn't slept at all. Still, she drug herself out of bed, checked her phone to see no new messages or missed calls, then proceeded to get herself ready for the day. 

           As she walked down the stairs, Renne pulled her bed head hair into a pony tail, thinking what to make the kids for breakfast. Before she could decide, a sweet aroma filled her nostrils. Blueberry pancakes and bacon. She grinned as she walked into the kitchen. Of course her grandma would have already been up and had breakfast on the stove for the kids. 

        Like a pro, Mamaw had all four of her great-grandbabies, and her husband, sitting quietly at the table, each with a drink and a full plate in front of them. Renne was beyond thankful for her grandparents. 

            After breakfast, Renne got the kids and their belongings all piled up in her truck, and got them successfully dropped off at their dad's house. Doug looked much more rested this morning than yesterday. Renne wished the same would be said for her. 

           As she made the drive to Swayde's house, her stomach began turning in knots. It told her something definitely was not right. Her turn signal clicked off as she turned right into Swayde's driveway. Down the lane, she saw five or six other trucks parked by Swayde's house. "What on earth are they all doin' here?" She mumbled to herself, recognizing some of the trucks. 

           Parking in a free spot next to her boyfriend's truck, Renne turned off the ignition, tucking her keys in her pocket. Looking at each of the trucks, Renne saw Kyle's truck, and a couple other people's that she recognized from the Fourth of July baling. 

            Inside Swayde's house, Renne could hear some male voices, but couldn't make out what they were saying. Her heart dropped when she opened the door and walked inside. Nothing would prepare her for the sight before her.