A/n: Well this is embarrassing. I wanted this whole camp arc to be done in one chapter, but this is just taking too long.

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[Location: Glynda's classroom]

Glynda: And remember, the Vytal Festival is only a few weeks away. So be sure to train diligently for it.

And with that, Glynda wraps up her class for the day. After the whole being-sick-and-having-(y/n)-take-care-of-her-while-also-managing-her-classes-for-the-past-four-days fiasco, she had to catch up on what he's done to her students and make sure he didn't give her unnecessary paper work. So far, there's only been seven cases of students being knocked unconscious and thirteen cases of low self esteem suddenly arising. Most importantly, she has recently heard about the field trip that (y/n) has in store for the students after classes today.

After pestering (y/n) as to what this "field trip" entails, honing ones outdoor skills and surviving in the woods, Glynda has insisted that she come along as well. Not trusting him completely to bring back all of the students safely.

Anyway, she makes her way to her room to start packing for the trip. (Y/n) has given her a list of things to bring: first aid, sunscreen, a change of clothes, swim wear, a book, extra dust cartridges, and a guide to wild forest berries. A few of them don't make sense to her, like the swim suit and sunscreen, but things like first aid and guide to berries seem right to have when going to a forest.

At any rate, she stores away the last of her essentials in a travel bag and heads out to the front of the school. Where students that have signed up for the trip are told to meet up to as well.

[Location: Beacon court yard]

Just outside of Beacon, a group of students are gathered as they wait for their supervisors to show up. Among this group are a few random students, teams RWBY, JNPR, CFVY, Noir, and Sun and Neptune. The last two transferring to Beacon right after the fiasco with the White Fang at the docks. All of whom are carrying a bag or suit case filled with what they need to bring. In Weiss's metaphorical case, a lot of bug spray.

Off to the side, Noir has a conversation with team CFVY.

Coco: So are we camping in tents or what? 'Cause I didn't bring that.

Noir: Dad said we'll be staying at a camp ground. Kinda defeats the purpose of "duking it out with nature" when you're sleeping in a pre-existing building.

Yatsuhashi: Maybe we'll mostly be taking part in activities involving hiking, foraging, hunting and so on.

Noir: Ehh, maybe. What do you think, Fox?

Coco: Ok that was funny for like the first ten times, but your starting to wear it thin.

Velvet: Oh look, here comes Professor Goodwitch.

The rest turn and see their teacher approaching towards them. She sets her bag down and addresses her students.

Glynda: Good day. Does everyone have what they need?

Ruby: Yep. Just waiting for Professor (l/n).

Weiss: I have a question.

Noir: When don't you?

Weiss: Where and how will we be getting to this camp ground? Professor (l/n) didn't say, and I don't see an airship.

Glynda: That... is a good question. He never specified.

Noir: Dad said we'll be taking a bus.

Weiss: A what?

Noir: The poor man's limousine, miss heiress. He said something about saving money on getting someone to drive. "mumbling" Ironic, given what he's made.

Coco: Ok, so how far is the camp?

Noir: Deep in the Forever Fall Forest I think.

Ruby: Isn't that infested with Grimm?

Noir:...

Ruby: Noir?

Noir:... 5. 4.

Velvet: What are you doing?

Noir: 3. 2. Hey, dad.

*bamf*

(Y/n): All right, I'm here.

You suddenly appear. Scaring the crap out of some of the students, with the exception of Noir. Ruby and Jaune fall flat on their asses in fright.

(Y/n): Sorry I took so long. I had to pick up some extra stuff. Anyway, the bus should be here in-there it is.

The sound of screeching tires catches everyone's attention. The sight of a yellow bus barreling towards them alarms everybody. You're just looking through your scroll, though. Before the bus could run anybody over, specifically a petrified Jaune, it comes to a screeching halt mere inches from them. A second later, Jaune just stares at the bug ridden grill close to his face before passing out. You look away from your scroll and walk over to the bus.

(Y/n): Ladies and gentlemen, your chauffeur for the evening, the Quartermaster!

You wave your hands over to the bus, as if expecting someone to step out. After a few awkward seconds of nothing, you glance over to the entrance of the bus. You lean over and pound on the doors a few times. A moment later, the bus doors jolt open half way before stopping suddenly. It shakes about for a second before slamming back shut. After it finally opens completely, it reveals the one driving the bus. An old man with gray hair and a mustache covering his mouth. One of his eyes remaining closed for whatever reason. Most noticeable of all is his hook hand he's using for a half assed wave.

Quartermaster: All aboard.

(Y/n): All right kiddies, get on the bus and we'll be on our way. Glynda, you're riding with me.

Glynda: Shouldn't we be on the bus with the students?

(Y/n): Don't worry. Quartermaster will keep an eye on them. Pun intended. Plus, he doesn't like kids that much to try anything fishy. Ain't that right, QM?

Quartermaster: Mmh hm.

After some hesitation, and dragging an unconscious Jaune on board, the students get on the old bus. As the last one gets on board and sits down, the doors immediately close and the bus quickly speeds off in reverse.

Glynda:... Are you sure they will be okay?

(Y/n): Worst case scenario, they get hit by a train. Now, onward to my car.

You look back at your scroll and press a button. The screen flashes green as the words "vehicle arriving" appear.

Glynda: Ok, let's head to the school's garage.

(Y/n): Nah, that won't be necessary. Just wait a moment.

Glynda: O...k?

With that said, you both stand around waiting for... something as far as Glynda knows.

Glynda:...

(Y/n):...

Glynda:...

(Y/n):... So how are things?

Glynda: I-

(Y/n): Wait! Here it is!

You look towards the entrance and see your car speeding towards the two of you. As it draws near, it comes to a stop a few feet away. The car doors soon automatically open up.

(Y/n): Hah! This new app is awesome!

You get in the driver's seat and wait for Glynda to stop looking confused.

[Location: Streets of Vale]

In a local hospital in Vale, its front doors slide open and reveal Professor Port. Walking out with crutches by his sides. He makes his way outside at a steady pace before raising his crutches out. Letting go, he lets them fall to the ground before just standing there.

Port: I. Can. WALK AGAIN!

That celebration is cut short as a bus quickly runs him over. Sending him flying in the air before crashing back down to the pavement.

Port: Argh man, my neck, my legs, my feet, my arms! I can't feel anything! My fucking body's NUMB!

Back to the bus, the Quartermaster just continues to drive without a second thought, as if he didn't just run somebody over. Sitting in the seat behind the driver, Pyrrha looks over to see what the noise was.

Pyrrha: What was that?

Quartermaster: Bison.

The red headed warrior decides to ask no further questions and leave the stoic driver be. Further in the back, the other students socialize.

Student1: Theeee wheels on the bus go round and round-

Student2: Theeee annoying teammate goes shut the fuck up!

Nora: Oooohh, this is gonna be fun! We'll go fishing, roast marshmallows, sing campfire songs, skin deer, go swimming in a lake, whittle some wood! It's gonna be a down right hootenany! And I don't even know what a hootenany is!

Blake: I'm just kinda worried about any Grimm roaming around the camp. Noir, are you sure your da-er, the Professor knows what he's doing?

She looks over to the side, seeing Velvet and Noir sitting together. Noir is gazing out the window with a bored expression. He snaps his attention to her a second later with the same look.

Noir: Hmm?

Blake: What is professor (l/n) going to do about any Grimm at the camp?

Noir: Oh. Goliath piss.

He looks back out the window, believing the conversation to be over. His statement, however, seems to have drawn the attention of everyone that was listening.

Ren: Sorry, what?

Noir: What?

Sun: Dude, all you said was "Goliath piss".

Noir: Yeah?

Velvet: How does that help?

Noir: "sigh" Goliath urine is a great repellent against smaller Grimm. And seeing as those glorified elephants are some of the biggest, that means pretty much every other Grimm. Some villages and towns use it all the time back in Vacuo.

Yang: First off, ew. Second, how do you even get the urine?

Noir:....... Let's just say you need a really big funnel.

Noir goes back to sightseeing as everyone else just stares at him in bewilderment. With Blake regretting she ever asked.

[Location: Back to (y/n) and Glynda]

Somewhere else in the city, the two professors drive to the camp as they have a little conversation.

Glynda: So, what exactly are the activities you have planned for the students during this camping trip?

(Y/n): Activities? Oh, right! Well they'll be taking part in some shit. Like, uhh, outdoor activities.

Glynda:... Specifically?

(Y/n): Uh-Well, I've noticed in the past few weeks they seem to be a little out of touch in their ability to survive in anything other than a fight. So we're taking them out in the woods to help hone their wild side and all that.

Glynda: Somewhat veig, but I'll stop asking. You always were terrible at explaining things without making it more confusing.

(Y/n): And you were always terrible at explaining things without making it more boring.

You both share a small laugh as you continue to drive. Glynda soon pulls out her purse to retrieve something.

Glynda: Anyway, if we are having the students partake in whatever you have in mind, it would be best to talk about ground rules for them on the camp-

The car suddenly drives over a small pothole, causing the vehicle and the two of you inside to jump violently. Some of the contents in Glynda's purse suddenly spill out and scatter on the car floor.

Glynda: Oh, son of a bitch!

She ducks down and starts picking up what fell out. Wallet, pack of gum, tampon, and spare glasses. She searches around for the last item missing.

Glynda: I think my lipstick fell on your side.

(Y/n): Well don't tell me like I can do anything about it. I'm driving.

She then leans over and ducks down towards your lap as she reaches around on the floor.

Glynda: It should be around here.

She leans further in to the point of almost brushing your crotch. At this point, any sensible pervert, such as yourself, would make a comment about the display. However, seeing as you are an "adult" driving an automobile, you continue to focus on the road.

You come upon a yellow light and slow down. As you finally come to stop, a truck stops to the light as well. The inhabitants wearing cheap black suits and top hats. Possibly henchmen belonging to the club owner, Junior, making a delivery to their establishment. One of them, in the passenger seat, glances over to you and quickly does a double take on what he's seeing.

You just casually driving, while a blond's head is stuck between your legs. With all the contexts that can be taken out of this situation. Stupified, he gets his friend's attention and points at you. Seeing the display as well, he goes slack jaw in amazement.

Out of boredom from how long the light was taking, you look out the window and spot the two staring at you. Pointing and talking. They soon see you staring at them staring at you for a brief moment.

Glynda: I think it might have rolled under the seat.

You look down to Glynda. The back of her head all you can see as she keeps looking for her lipstick. You just stare at her hair for a second, before looking back to the two in the truck with a thumbs up. Affirming to them that you were "getting" some "road head".

Even if you couldn't hear them, you can definitely see them cheering you on and returning their own thumbs up. The light finally turns green and you take your leave down the road. The truck taking a left to the light. At that point, Glynda finally sits back up with what she was looking for.

Glynda: Ah ha! Found it!

She soon stores the lipstick in her purse and sets it in the back seat.

Glynda: By the way, how far is the camp anyway?

(Y/n): About an hour or two of driving. So either read, listen to music, or, if you're feeling brave, talk to little ol' me-

Glynda: I brought a book.

(Y/n): Smart move.

She soon pulls out a book, "The Thief and the Butcher", and starts reading to pass the time. While you just continue to drive.

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A/n: To be concluded like the title states.